erica01 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I've been lurking here for about 6months, but this is my first or second post. MM and I have been friends with benefits for a full 3 years but over the last year, it has turned into a full blown EA instead of just sex. This is mostly because H and I separated back in November of 2008. Reading this site religiously has kept me realistic about the situation even though he says he would love to be with me instead of his W but he can't leave. I have told him time and time again I realize if he wanted to leave he would, and it's okay because we were both M when this whole thing started and I won't pressure him in the least. Lately he has been acting jealous about me dating. Though he was encouraging it before I really started to date again. So finally last night, he got embarrasingly drunk and admitted that he was torn between being a knight in shining armor for his W and actually being a companion with me. It's been easy up until now to keep it casual because it was that way before my separation and I knew where he was coming from. I was a selfish jerk too while I was with H so I understand, just messing around, but if he really feels the same way, should I tell him he needs to choose before I get in over my head too or is it my fault for trying to keep it casual even after my separation?
whichwayisup Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 It's been 2 years and the A got more serious, yet he isn't willing to leave and divorce, yet he gets jealous that you may date or see others. Why let him choose? YOU CHOOSE. Choose to say goodbye, end the A so you can just be alone, have breathing room to find "you" again, BE without a man. If he truly loves you enough, and wants a life with you, then he'll do what he needs to do, divorce his wife, settle his fianances, house etc, and then come find you. Anything short of that is JUST a continuation of the affair, and you're wasting your time.
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