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What's a good introduction, conversation topic and rejection-strategy for the club?

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

By Don'tWannabeAWannabe
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EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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I'm sorry' date=' but do you read anything I wrote at all? I said I'm NOT looking to have sex with them that night. I'm just looking for a phone number and a future date. Why is that wrong? How on earth is trying to meet women "treating them poorly" as you mentioned later? :mad:[/quote']

 

 

Ok so apparently you can't dance, and you can't talk to females. Why are you bothering with clubs?? No matter what advice is given, if you do not have the confidence to back it up then you are screwed.

 

I'd suggest meeting females at a place you feel most comforable. Coffee shops? Grocery stores? Gyms?

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Don'tWannabeAWannabe Established Member

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

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Ok so apparently you can't dance, and you can't talk to females. Why are you bothering with clubs?? No matter what advice is given, if you do not have the confidence to back it up then you are screwed.

 

I'd suggest meeting females at a place you feel most comforable. Coffee shops? Grocery stores? Gyms?

 

Because I live in the suburbs and a young, attractive single female my age or younger is so hard to come by (they're all off at college and the ones who stayed behind are in LTRs). Like I said in another thread, I have to drive 1hr to 1.5hr to the city for half decent nightlife.

 

There's just no other place than clubs to find such a high number of single, attractive girls. Even the book the Pick Up Artist discusses this; there is no where else to see so many available girls in such a small area in a short time.

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Don'tWannabeAWannabe Established Member

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

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Let me try to phrase this another way.

 

GUYS : if you've ever met a girl in a club, what did you do and say?

 

GIRLS : if you've ever met a guy in a club, what did he do and say?

callingyouuu Established Member

callingyouuu

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In your situation, I would highly suggest the PUA route. It seems you've at least taken a look at the book. There's also a television series, which I think would be even more helpful because you get to see dudes walk in and "pull 10s" in an actual club. You get to see how some do it right, while others do it wrong.

 

From what I've seen in the show, "openers" that have to do with the weather or the environment aren't so good because they don't really lead anywhere, so the girls get bored easily. You can't blame them. The most successful people on the show ask a random, yet stimulating question like "Would you ever date a guy named Herman?" or "What do you guys think of tattooes?". Just something that can get them going and have some room to tease (or "neg") them for their responses.

 

PUAs just have a lot of material that they think of beforehand that they can draw from. They have it outlined from beginning to end; opening to the kiss-close. Because they have a plan (open with an interesting statement, befriend everyone in the party, isolate your target, neg, escalating touching, etc), they're in control of every situation they encounter in a club and know what they're doing every step of the way.

 

They get a lot of crap about how contrived everything becomes, but in the club situation, they do better than your average guy. Like boogieboy said, tread carefully when trying this outside of the club.

EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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Because I live in the suburbs and a young, attractive single female my age or younger is so hard to come by (they're all off at college and the ones who stayed behind are in LTRs). Like I said in another thread, I have to drive 1hr to 1.5hr to the city for half decent nightlife.

 

There's just no other place than clubs to find such a high number of single, attractive girls. Even the book the Pick Up Artist discusses this; there is no where else to see so many available girls in such a small area in a short time.

 

Have you read the book thoroughly? If so... what advice has it given you in regards to picking up females?

 

Also, i'd like to know why you are so desperate to not only meet females but to date them?? Are you so insecure with yourself that you feel like you need female attention??

 

And if not, if you are exactly where you want to be, than why do you feel the need for a female in your life?

 

Have you thought about these things?

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Don'tWannabeAWannabe Established Member

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

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Have you read the book thoroughly? If so... what advice has it given you in regards to picking up females?

 

There's so little on just basic introductions. There's a lot about what to do and say in the middle of a conversation, the hows and whys of it, what men say and how women perceive it and vice versa.

 

Still, there's little to nothing about how to actually START the conversation in the first place, which was a big disappointment.

 

Also, i'd like to know why you are so desperate to not only meet females but to date them?? Are you so insecure with yourself that you feel like you need female attention??

 

And if not, if you are exactly where you want to be, than why do you feel the need for a female in your life?

 

Have you thought about these things?

 

Yes, I have. But you're a woman, and judging from your picture, a fairly attractive looking one. From your perspective you wouldn't/couldn't understand why.

Edited by Don'tWannabeAWannabe
EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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There's so little on just basic introductions. There's a lot about what to do and say in the middle of a conversation, the hows and whys of it, what men say and how women perceive it and vice versa.

 

Still, there's little to nothing about how to actually START the conversation in the first place, which was a big disappointment.

 

Obviously this is the wrong book for you to be looking for advice in.

 

Yes' date=' I have. But you're a woman, and judging from your picture, a fairly attractive looking one. From your perspective you wouldn't/couldn't understand why.[/quote']

 

If I didn't care, I wouldn't have posted anything.

 

Attractiveness (or lack-thereof) has nothing to do with this situation.

Lindarose84 Established Member

Lindarose84

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Ok let's just be completely honest, nothing in a PUA book is going to help you if you're not a decent looking guy to begin with. Let's face it, a lot of people use bars/clubs as meat markets and you're not going to fare well no matter what you say if the girl isn't remotely attracted to you.

 

Personally, I would break it down as so:

 

If, on a scale of 1-10 (10 being hot stuff), you're a 8-10, you can go up to a single and willing woman (notice I said willing, not every girl goes to bars to be hit on!) and recite the alphabet and stand a good chance of scoring her number and/or a date.

 

If you're a 5-7, you have to put in some work. This may not work for everyone, but laughter is the perfect icebreaker for me. You want it to be something so stupid that even the snottiest girl can't help but laugh. Somewhere in the self-deprecating category is great because it shows you don't take yourself too seriously. That may put the girl at ease and it makes her more open to talking to someone she wasn't initially super attracted to. It shows, personality!

 

If you're a 1-4, the bar/club scene is not the place you'll be meeting your next gf. Sorry. That's just life. I would concentrate on trying the online scene or joining a book, dance, or cooking club where members of the opposite sex can really get a chance to see your inner beauty.

 

So that's pretty much it. You can read the PUA garbage until you turn blue. It all boils down to looks really. Men AND women are all visual creatures at first no matter what anyone says. This reality is heightened in the bar/club world. So in the end, the question is, what category above do you objectively fit in. Determine that and then go from there. Just my opinion.

EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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Basically it all comes down to confidence. If you lack it, you'll never be satisfied. And when a girl shuts you down, you'll constantly wonder what you did wrong/what you could do differently/and if there's a way you could possibly make her feel just as bad as she has made you feel.

 

Confidence is something you have to have within yourself. Nothing and no-one can give you this.

 

Whether it's at a bar, a club, etc.

 

There is absolutely nothing you can say or do to make yourself seem better than what you really are.

 

Try building yourself up to be a better person than you are right now. I'd suggest working on that first.

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Don'tWannabeAWannabe Established Member

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

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Obviously this is the wrong book for you to be looking for advice in.

 

 

 

If I didn't care, I wouldn't have posted anything.

 

Attractiveness (or lack-thereof) has nothing to do with this situation.

 

Is it really so hard to understand that I (or anyone who's single for that matter) want to meet someone? Do I really have to go into further details?

EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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Is it really so hard to understand that I (or anyone who's single for that matter) want to meet someone? Do I really have to go into further details?

 

No, you don't. And no, it's not.

 

But you are obviously subjecting yourself to a situation that you not only feel uncomfortable in, but aren't confident enough to deal with.

 

So maybe the issue is not 'how to pick up a girl in a club', but 'how to become more confident within yourself'.

 

Or maybe you just need to be looking in another place.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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A club is not the place to get a date. It is the place to find a one-night stand.

 

If you want a date, try meeting women in daytime places, through legitimate interests.

 

 

I disagree. It depends on what age you are. If you are in your early 20's or so, the club can be a great place to find a date.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Maybe they realize your agenda. Your not interested in anything but sex from them. Unless they are looking for the same then you wont score a "high-end club girl" sorry.

 

If you want to handpick a girl to have sex with(thats what it sounds like to me) grab a phonebook and go to escort section. Sorry, but real life works differently. They need to actually WANT you too, and everyone likes different things. Unless you are luring them in against their better judgement when they are drunk(like some of the suggestions I have seen)Im sure not all "high-end club girls" like the same guys or are attracted to the same guys. BY high-end club girls you mean young, attractive? YEah, im sure they also have different tastes in men then one another because they are, too, individuals. If you want to give a girl icentive not too push you away SHE has got to be mildly interested in you at the time of approaching her and that could mean so many things depending on the girl (she likes your clothes, she is attaraacted to your features, she thinks your rich, you remind her of her ex, you dont remind her of her ex, she thinks you seem mysterious, she thinks you seem funny, she thinks you are nice) any of these options but they could all relate to different "high-end club girls". It is really hit or miss.

 

What is a "high end club girl"?

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Don'tWannabeAWannabe Established Member

Don'tWannabeAWannabe

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What is a "high end club girl"?

 

You know, when you go into the really upscale clubs, and you see those really beautiful girls with shimmering mini-dresses and long, shiny hair and dark skin and perfect eyes and nails and everything. Those are the kind of girls I want to meet.

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