Jump to content

What's a good introduction, conversation topic and rejection-strategy for the club?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

And PLEASE don't tell me to "just say hi," because that's not doing me any good. Seriously, I've been going to the club twice a week, well dressed and groomed, and I'm tired of getting blank stares or walk-aways from girls when I try to speak to them. Worse, I'm tired of feeling worse and too afraid to try again after wards.

 

What's a good introduction and conversation topic to get girls in clubs talking and interested?

 

And if one of them decides to be prissy and snotty, what's a good way to take her down a peg or two? Because I'm really getting tired of feeling humiliated and having these girls walking away feeling superior when they're really not.

Posted
And PLEASE don't tell me to "just say hi," because that's not doing me any good. Seriously, I've been going to the club twice a week, well dressed and groomed, and I'm tired of getting blank stares or walk-aways from girls when I try to speak to them. Worse, I'm tired of feeling worse and too afraid to try again after wards.

 

What's a good introduction and conversation topic to get girls in clubs talking and interested?

 

And if one of them decides to be prissy and snotty, what's a good way to take her down a peg or two? Because I'm really getting tired of feeling humiliated and having these girls walking away feeling superior when they're really not.

 

 

Bring a female friend with you to the club. It can't not work...I learned that last weekend whilst out at the bars with Erica. Wingwoman = FTW.

 

Of course, there was the totally separate matter of me needing to get my head out of ass...but other than that, good times.

 

But if you can't arrange that, I'd say you have to be a lot more subtle with your approach. Don't just walk straight up to a girl, reach out your hand, and say hi...it's too direct and unless you're a strikingly beautiful specimen of humanity, it can appear a little creepy...

 

Find a way to initiate a conversation that she will want to respond to...something that would give you a common ground to start talking...think subtle...

 

That is all for now...

  • Author
Posted
Bring a female friend with you to the club. It can't not work...I learned that last weekend whilst out at the bars with Erica. Wingwoman = FTW.

 

Of course, there was the totally separate matter of me needing to get my head out of ass...but other than that, good times.

 

But if you can't arrange that, I'd say you have to be a lot more subtle with your approach. Don't just walk straight up to a girl, reach out your hand, and say hi...it's too direct and unless you're a strikingly beautiful specimen of humanity, it can appear a little creepy...

 

Find a way to initiate a conversation that she will want to respond to...something that would give you a common ground to start talking...think subtle...

 

That is all for now...

 

I don't have any female friends.

Posted

I would agree. Having a wingwoman is awesome or even a few girl friends to go with.

 

I have something in mind of a good introduction if you're a great dancer. But, that's just my imagination running wild!;)

Posted
And PLEASE don't tell me to "just say hi," because that's not doing me any good. Seriously, I've been going to the club twice a week, well dressed and groomed, and I'm tired of getting blank stares or walk-aways from girls when I try to speak to them. Worse, I'm tired of feeling worse and too afraid to try again after wards.

 

What's a good introduction and conversation topic to get girls in clubs talking and interested?

 

And if one of them decides to be prissy and snotty, what's a good way to take her down a peg or two? Because I'm really getting tired of feeling humiliated and having these girls walking away feeling superior when they're really not.

 

 

Why not just ask them to dance. If you get rejected go to the next girl, and then the next one. After you dance ask her if she would like a drink.

Posted

WHy does it have to be the end of the world if the girls says no, or rejects you. It happens. It happens to alot of guys especially at the clubs. I dont forsee anything changing that. I dont forsee some "cool" thing to say that will be a sure fire way to get her interested, because im not sure if you realize this, but women are individuals too.

 

You cant change every woman to suit your own needs and agenda. All you can do is either be yourself and see who says yes and who is drawn to you, or change your behaviors that might be influencing these women to have no desire to hang around you, and I dont know why that might be, but if you think that shooting some mean one liner to "take them down a peg or two" will work out in your favor i think your going to end up looking like a real jackass. I dont see how anyone comes out on top in a scenario like that. She rejects you, you diss her. It is obvious that you are just sore from her rejecting you...also if any of her friends and who knows maybe "potential girls' for you, see you acting like a jerk then you are just decreasing your chances even more. Its a no win situation. Unless she is mean in letting your advances down (makes fun of you or pushes you), then i see no reason why you would need to be defensive. Consider it a favor that she didnt waste your time or lead you on if she wasnt actually interested. Walking away is much more confident and you can leave with your dignity and pursue the next girl.

  • Author
Posted
Why not just ask them to dance. If you get rejected go to the next girl, and then the next one. After you dance ask her if she would like a drink.

 

Because 1) I don't know how to dance. 2) It's impossible to get to know someone on the dance floor with deafening techno blasting in your ear and people bumping into you left and right 3) I'm not sure what happens on most club dance floors can really be called "dancing," and 4) offering to buy girls drinks at a club is a good way to get led on and broke.

 

How is asking her to dance a good option? That gives her the most reason to be shallow and preselective; tons of guys will have asked her to dance. How can I portray any of my personality by saying "hey, wanna dance?" How is that gonna get her to want to get to know me?

  • Author
Posted

 

You cant change every woman to suit your own needs and agenda. All you can do is either be yourself and see who says yes and who is drawn to you, or change your behaviors that might be influencing these women to have no desire to hang around you.

 

That's what I'm trying to do. How do you score these high-end club girls? Everyone here has told me that I seriously need to offer them drugs, but there's GOT to be another way.

 

I'm not asking or expecting them a lot. I'm not asking them to marry me or be my girlfriend. I'm not even asking them to come home with me (or go with them).

 

All I want is a friendly conversation, a phone number and a future date. I don't understand why that's so unreasonable, and I don't understand why these girls have to get all snotty and prissy and put up these spiked walls around them.

Posted
You cant change every woman to suit your own needs and agenda.

 

How on earth do you get from the sincere request for help from OP to the assumption above? Are you -that- adamant about protecting a woman's supposed prerogative to treat men rudely?

 

How is asking her to dance a good option? That gives her the most reason to be shallow and preselective; tons of guys will have asked her to dance. How can I portray any of my personality by saying "hey' date=' wanna dance?" How is that gonna get her to want to get to know me?[/quote']

 

It's a great place to start. You don't have to be "buster moves" to shuffle back and forth and swing your arms a bit. They appreciate the effort, the few quality ones anyway, and after you dance with them say "thanks" with a smile and move on, don't press it.

 

Any drug talk I made in your threads was a joke, other than the fact that many in clubs have substance/booze problems.

 

There is no good "take a peg down" repartee to a snotty woman at a club. You are in their wheelhouse, they have all the power, what they have lost out on is your company.

 

If you don't have female friends, start cultivating them. Good ones will enhance your social life and vice versa. Choose carefully though.

Posted (edited)
That's what I'm trying to do. How do you score these high-end club girls? Everyone here has told me that I seriously need to offer them drugs' date=' but there's GOT to be another way.[/quote']

 

You have to be older and a bad ass.

 

Mate how old are you? Sounds like you are going to crappy clubs that will only leave you frustrated. Change your scene and go to bars where you can speak to people.

 

If a girl likes the look of you, she will stare at you and then drop her eyes (not turn her head) when you meet her stare. If she does this twice then approach her.

 

Also follow my five minute rule. If you talk to a girl and she talks to you for more than five minutes then she is interested.

 

Happy hunting.

 

Ps. read some David DeAngelo

Edited by The Paper Knight
Posted
Why not just ask them to dance. If you get rejected go to the next girl, and then the next one. After you dance ask her if she would like a drink.

 

Nice approach, if a guy approached me in this way I'd be pleased. If I didn't want to dance I'd respectfully decilne, buit if I was interested, I'd be so happy to be treated in such a straight forward respectful way. Nicely put!

Posted

A club is not the place to get a date. It is the place to find a one-night stand.

 

If you want a date, try meeting women in daytime places, through legitimate interests.

Posted

Because 1) I don't know how to dance.

 

Okay, but practice to dance if you can in privacy. Anyways, what they call dancing these days is jumping around. Make up your own style.

 

2) It's impossible to get to know someone on the dance floor with deafening techno blasting in your ear and people bumping into you left and right

 

I see what you're saying especially with techno playing. Well, when you are dancing with her, you might look at her and smile. Take your fingers and rub them down her face lightly (from the forehead to her chin) then turn your back to her and dance in the opposite direction. You're probably saying WTF is she talking about, but just try it and watch the girl's reaction.

 

3) I'm not sure what happens on most club dance floors can really be called "dancing," and

 

Exactly, that's why you should get out there and move around. Girls like to dance. It doesn't matter if you aren't that good, it's just fun.

 

4) offering to buy girls drinks at a club is a good way to get led on and broke.

 

Yeah, your right. Well if you are on the dance floor a long time and you feel she is enjoying herself, when you leave smile and ask her what her name is and go from there.

 

How is asking her to dance a good option? That gives her the most reason to be shallow and preselective; tons of guys will have asked her to dance. How can I portray any of my personality by saying "hey, wanna dance?" How is that gonna get her to want to get to know me?

 

You have to stop being afraid of rejection. So what if she says no, go to the next girl. I am a woman and when I would go to clubs I would ask a guy to dance if I felt like it. Sometimes guys would say no and I would just ask the guy who was standing right next to him. I don't give a damn, I just wanted to dance. So develop that attitude. They are only women after all.

Posted
That's what I'm trying to do. How do you score these high-end club girls? Everyone here has told me that I seriously need to offer them drugs, but there's GOT to be another way.

 

I'm not asking or expecting them a lot. I'm not asking them to marry me or be my girlfriend. I'm not even asking them to come home with me (or go with them).

 

All I want is a friendly conversation, a phone number and a future date. I don't understand why that's so unreasonable, and I don't understand why these girls have to get all snotty and prissy and put up these spiked walls around them.

 

Maybe they realize your agenda. Your not interested in anything but sex from them. Unless they are looking for the same then you wont score a "high-end club girl" sorry.

 

If you want to handpick a girl to have sex with(thats what it sounds like to me) grab a phonebook and go to escort section. Sorry, but real life works differently. They need to actually WANT you too, and everyone likes different things. Unless you are luring them in against their better judgement when they are drunk(like some of the suggestions I have seen)Im sure not all "high-end club girls" like the same guys or are attracted to the same guys. BY high-end club girls you mean young, attractive? YEah, im sure they also have different tastes in men then one another because they are, too, individuals. If you want to give a girl icentive not too push you away SHE has got to be mildly interested in you at the time of approaching her and that could mean so many things depending on the girl (she likes your clothes, she is attaraacted to your features, she thinks your rich, you remind her of her ex, you dont remind her of her ex, she thinks you seem mysterious, she thinks you seem funny, she thinks you are nice) any of these options but they could all relate to different "high-end club girls". It is really hit or miss.

Posted
How on earth do you get from the sincere request for help from OP to the assumption above? Are you -that- adamant about protecting a woman's supposed prerogative to treat men rudely?

 

The other thread by OP explains my assumption here meerkat. I know you have a hate on for me because i dont agree with your sexist views...but I read the other thread and it applies to the Op's sitauation. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t221329/

 

Are you that adamant about defending treating women poorly?

Posted
That's what I'm trying to do. How do you score these high-end club girls? Everyone here has told me that I seriously need to offer them drugs, but there's GOT to be another way.

 

I'm not asking or expecting them a lot. I'm not asking them to marry me or be my girlfriend. I'm not even asking them to come home with me (or go with them).

 

All I want is a friendly conversation, a phone number and a future date. I don't understand why that's so unreasonable, and I don't understand why these girls have to get all snotty and prissy and put up these spiked walls around them.

 

You know what I retract my last statement. If all you want is friendly banter. Dont go to a club. Thats all i have got to say to that one. Its too hard to hear in the club anyways

Posted (edited)
A club is not the place to get a date. It is the place to find a one-night stand.

 

If you want a date, try meeting women in daytime places, through legitimate interests.

 

I strongly disagree. I met most of my female friends in clubs, my current best friend was a complete stranger to me unless we bumped into each other on a dancefloor and danced all night.

 

You just need to be natural. If you feel approaching a girl and asking her to dance with you is natural - just do it. From my experience, women tend to be much more picky and harder to get when surrounded by other female friends.

 

For example, waiting for a beer or drink at the bar is a great conversation starter and comes very natural - you just turn your head to the "target" and say all these things about how great this party is, or ask if she's a frequent visitor, or whatever comes to your mind. As long as you're interested in what she has to say, it will go well. If not - the next one will.

 

Bring a female friend with you to the club. It can't not work...I learned that last weekend whilst out at the bars with Erica. Wingwoman = FTW.

Indeed. In fact, as soon as you get to dance with one girl in a club - you might get to dance with many of them. If they see you're having a good time, treat another girl well, it will influence their reactions.

 

1) I don't know how to dance.

(..)

3) I'm not sure what happens on most club dance floors can really be called "dancing,"

You answered yourself. Confidence always wins. If you're confident enough to get your ass on the dancefloor - things will settle themselves no matter how crappy dancer you are. Apart from that - there are no bad dancers, same as there are no bad kissers. There are just inexperienced dancers and inexperienced kissers ;-)

 

2) It's impossible to get to know someone on the dance floor with deafening techno blasting in your ear and people bumping into you left and right

Stick to the bumping thing and you'll get some :D

 

4) offering to buy girls drinks at a club is a good way to get led on and broke.

hello, gentleman! can't help you with that: no pain - no gain

 

 

 

 

EDIT: it seems I have covered some of the things that belong to the other topic, sorry for that ;-)

Edited by LastSpartan
Posted
That's what I'm trying to do. How do you score these high-end club girls? Everyone here has told me that I seriously need to offer them drugs, but there's GOT to be another way.

 

I'm not asking or expecting them a lot. I'm not asking them to marry me or be my girlfriend. I'm not even asking them to come home with me (or go with them).

 

All I want is a friendly conversation, a phone number and a future date. I don't understand why that's so unreasonable, and I don't understand why these girls have to get all snotty and prissy and put up these spiked walls around them.

Dance clubs are meant for DANCING (among other things). I love clubbing, and usually when I go it is not to meet a guy for a relationship. It is to have fun, let loose with friends, and DANCE. The only way a guy was going to get my attention when I was single and clubbing was if a) he was really good looking or b) he could dance really well.

 

You need to look around you and realize where you are. If you want to score a 'high end club girl' then you gotta play the part. She is not there for great conversation and to give out her phone number. She is there to socialize and have fun. Learn to do that, and you might hit it off with one of them as a by-product of just having fun with them.

 

Learn to dance!

Posted

Wow, amazing how no one has even come close to answering the OP's question.

 

Ok Wannabe, here goes. Dangerous waters on this board.

 

First of all, what you want to do, you need to google PUA message boards, they have all the answers you need. Especially for bars and clubs. There are specific ways to talk to women in clubs, to get though womens shields, and frame it so that YOU have the power...and the PUA boards go into all that. I cant PM you, and I also cant put the link in here cuz the flag tyrant follows my posts. Women there have to filter out the douchebags that are too arrogant, or dont know what they are doing. They get alot of guys like you coming up to them with dough eyes. BTW This stuff isnt necessary with normal women. You will also have to learn how to determine which women are normal and which women arent.

 

You cant walk up to them directly, you kind of have to seem like youre walking by them and happen to notice them, and ask them a question that they would be interested in answering. "so lemme guess, so youre the good one, and youre the bad one right?" Then you have to keep that going rapid fire, showing that you are interesting and funny, while teasing them occasionally in the process. You cant ask them personal questions, or have nothing to offer, you have to be entertaining. You have to have stuff prepared. That keeps you going with flowing conversation without sounding like an interview.

 

To "neg" or take the women down a peg, You tease her but without insulting her. Sort of how you would treat your little sister. You do this to show youre not putting her up on a pedastal or kissing her ass, but doing it light and fun. Im not going to get into that because theres people here that will derail the thread arguing about how anti woman PUA tactics are, and its been argued to death already.

Posted
"so lemme guess, so youre the good one, and youre the bad one right?"

 

I've seen this one work firsthand by some of the biggest tools i've ever known in my life...

Posted

Being a guy you can see the routines a mile away but they work. I think these guys are self obsessed tools, but chicks seam to dig the routines.

 

Might try and fit this line in somewhere...

 

"If the saying is true, you are what you eat. I want to be you in the morning"

Posted

The nightclub is one of the worse places to pick up chicks: the women there are mainly there to be seen and want attention but not really to get with a man. The majority of clubgoing females are stuck-up golddiggers that will only go with a guy with a big wallet.

 

Try a bar.

Posted
The other thread by OP explains my assumption here meerkat. I know you have a hate on for me because i dont agree with your sexist views...but I read the other thread and it applies to the Op's sitauation. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t221329/

 

Are you that adamant about defending treating women poorly?

 

I have read and posted in his other threads, and don't recall any examples where he has treated women poorly or seeks to. He seems to be a guy who has moved back to town and trying to meet women in clubs, nothing more.

 

Views that protect one gender's prerogative to be rude are sexist, not mine, but keep tossing the "hate" word around, it makes you and your agenda totally transparent.

  • Author
Posted
Maybe they realize your agenda. Your not interested in anything but sex from them. Unless they are looking for the same then you wont score a "high-end club girl" sorry.

 

I'm sorry, but do you read anything I wrote at all? I said I'm NOT looking to have sex with them that night. I'm just looking for a phone number and a future date. Why is that wrong? How on earth is trying to meet women "treating them poorly" as you mentioned later? :mad:

  • Author
Posted
I strongly disagree. I met most of my female friends in clubs, my current best friend was a complete stranger to me unless we bumped into each other on a dancefloor and danced all night.

 

You just need to be natural. If you feel approaching a girl and asking her to dance with you is natural - just do it. From my experience, women tend to be much more picky and harder to get when surrounded by other female friends.

 

For example, waiting for a beer or drink at the bar is a great conversation starter and comes very natural - you just turn your head to the "target" and say all these things about how great this party is, or ask if she's a frequent visitor, or whatever comes to your mind. As long as you're interested in what she has to say, it will go well. If not - the next one will.

 

That is what I've been trying to do; hang around the bar, occasionally ask the girl about the environment or how their night is, but they just seem aloof, bored and disinterested. They don't ask questions back to me (only short, 1 sentence answers) and some even just take one look and walk away completely.

 

What makes a girl do this? Why the defensive wall?

 

You answered yourself. Confidence always wins. If you're confident enough to get your ass on the dancefloor - things will settle themselves no matter how crappy dancer you are. Apart from that - there are no bad dancers, same as there are no bad kissers. There are just inexperienced dancers and inexperienced kissers ;-)

 

Have you ever seen those guys who dance by themselves in the club? Have you noticed how no one talks to him? I've seen that happen so many times, and again last week end.

×
×
  • Create New...