McGrupp Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 i want to re-do everything. but i cant. and i cant get her to respect me or find me attractive again. i cant walk away. and that sucks. and i carry that around with me. and i think about how i lost a great thing because of insecurity, and that makes me more insecure. and i shouldve made boundaries in our relationship. and i shouldve stayed the rock instead of getting emotional. and i still think about her all ****ing day. i think about how 3 years fell apart in 3 phone calls. and i think about what i bitch i was. and now im ruining girls. im an *******. i wanted to live with her forever. and its almost been 6 months. did u guys miss this?
Author McGrupp Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 and then its like, no matter how pretty you are, you cant disrespect me, im the center of the universe. but...i wish i showed that to her, not so much that she would be attracted to me, but that i would have my self ****ing respect. and she would god damn well know it...
RockGuy87 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 It hasnt been 6 months for me, its only been 2 but i feel the exact same way. I ****ed up and now i know what to do....but she doesnt care...and it is messed up
DenverBachelor Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 and then its like, no matter how pretty you are, you cant disrespect me, im the center of the universe. but...i wish i showed that to her, not so much that she would be attracted to me, but that i would have my self ****ing respect. and she would god damn well know it... Jesus Christ, McGrupp, it has been like half a year. There are more available women in this world than grains of sand on a beach. Stop getting so hung up on your ex and go out and start having fun.
Author McGrupp Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 i know man. crazy i have a lot of fun and ive been with other girls. it just sucks when i know what i did and i cant undo it and none match up to her. im getting there... and btw February is like a super short month..
carhill Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Why are you dating if you're 'ruining girls'? Don't do that man. It's not cool, nor what a good man does. You take what comes at you and deal with it as a good man. Be specific. Have those boundaries and apply them specifically and without prejudice. Your ex is the past. Accept that and move forward as the good man you know you are.
Author McGrupp Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 how did u move on DB? u get a new girl? u cant tell me u still dont think about your ex? except yours kinda did u dirty, where mine i just sort of pushed away until she couldnt do it anymore.. and that sucks. why am i ruining girls? its clearly an ego thing...
carhill Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Take a look in the mirror and decide if that is how you want to define your character when you look back upon your life. BTW, for continuity, I'm still in the middle of a divorce and seeing a good lady, not 'ruining' her, rather getting to know her and enjoying a thing called 'dating'. Give it a try Leave your ego at the door.
DenverBachelor Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 how did u move on DB? u get a new girl? u cant tell me u still dont think about your ex? except yours kinda did u dirty, where mine i just sort of pushed away until she couldnt do it anymore.. and that sucks. why am i ruining girls? its clearly an ego thing... That's a good question. A part of it is just resigning yourself to mistakes, the will of the universe and realizing that no matter how bad the F'up is with any one woman, you can start anew with a better one. The day I learned to separate what I thought she was with who she really was is the day I realized that I could trust myself much more than I ever have. Live and learn.
Author McGrupp Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 The day I learned to separate what I thought she was with who she really was is the day I realized that I could trust myself much more than I ever have. like it . . .
Chi NZ Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 McGrupp....I'm in a similar sort of situation, pushed her away with prior issues to when I met her... Wanting to correct the mistakes for her, show her how I've come to this epiphany.. Except I'm a ways behind you in the scheme of things... The way I look at it now is there's a small hope & opportunity that she will see these things and accept me...even forgive me, but, I won't let that fact rule my life...it's working for now but I don't know for how long... As I said..I'm fairly fresh in the scheme of things...and what I've just said probably has no bearing on your situation..
Ilovecake Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Man up McGrupp. I could not date someone as emotionally unstable as you, what a burden. maybe that's the same problem your ex had. Women tend to like men with some cajones. Know what I mean? Get over it, stop whining, do major work on your self esteem and move on already.
Author McGrupp Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 im just in a rut now, and i leaned on her when i was down...and now although im kinda seeing someone, its not the same
Ms. Joolie Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 im just in a rut now, and i leaned on her when i was down...and now although im kinda seeing someone, its not the same Aww, McGrupp, I didn't know you were down for real, as you cracked a joke at the end... You so funny. It will take time, as always. When you are healed and strong again you will know. Don't close yourself down to all the wonderful women you are going to meet! You will find one waaaay nicer, way more mature and just as beautiful.... someone who will not hurt you. Wait, you are seeing someone kinda? That's great. Get to know her. The right person will offer you that happiness/fulfillment that you crave. Don't worry! It'll come. You just have to want it, be ready for it!
Author McGrupp Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 im not sure what i miss. the new girl i think is in dusty's paradigm as the plenty of fish crazy girl. we will see...shes kinda flaky and 29...
sean1970 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Few things breed fear as well as ignorance (and I do not mean that in a castigating manner). You don't know/believe you will find someone of her 'caliber' so you are scared. It is not that she was the gold standard by witch all birds are measured; you just grew to accept the negatives; even the ones you perhaps should not have. We are not 'lucky' enough not to fall in love again Grup... You just need to be ready when it happens again... Are you?
Author McGrupp Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 i hope so. i am scared. but i shouldnt be. ive been reading a lot on "alpha males" and to be one, you dont care if you ever find a relationship. you follow your path/purpose and if one decides to come for the ride thats great. and if she wants to get off, see you later. i just gotta get that through my head.
Ilovecake Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 im just in a rut now, and i leaned on her when i was down...and now although im kinda seeing someone, its not the same But you don't really want it to be the same, do you? You want better, right?
mickleb Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 It's not what life throws at us that is the problem, McGru, it's how we deal with it. What good has come from the last 6 months? What do you now KNOW that you can use to take you to a better place? x
jlr Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Mcgruff - It's been over a year for me, and I still think about her everyday. And I still have many moments where I blame myself and wish I could fix it. It takes time. Especially if you really loved her, like I did with mine. Hang in there buddy.
thepulse27 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 'im just in a rut now, and i leaned on her when i was down' Christ man, don't beat yourself up for this, that's what we do when we feel down and we have someone to love. You ever hold her up when she wasn't at her strongest? If she had any decency she'd have done the same, it's what good people do to the ones they love. And stop ruining women. You're only making yourself feel worse, and your gonna mess one up so badly that next time a man actually likes her she'll f**k him over and he'll be on here writing 'it's so unfair'!
HockeyMom Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Sometimes I just don't know if I should post.... I wonder whether we're supposed to offer support to those in need, and I feel like I'm always a downer.. McGrupp, I feel the same, I think about him all day every day. I want the pain to go away, but I don't think I'll ever stop wanting him, loving him, missing him, etc... I tried dating a couple guys, they either don't kiss the same, act the same, like the same things, make me laugh the same, want the same things.... I could go on and on. They're not him and all I want is him. Today was hard because I had to see him a ton at work. Fortunately his gf that he just moved in with wasn't at work today, so I didn't have to deal with that. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and now someone else gets to share the life with him that I wanted. And I believe we're much better suited for each other, but he doesn't realize that because there are things that I wish he would have known about me that he just doesn't. So ya, I wish I could un-do so many things as well...
Perhaps Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 i hope so. i am scared. but i shouldnt be. ive been reading a lot on "alpha males" and to be one, you dont care if you ever find a relationship. you follow your path/purpose and if one decides to come for the ride thats great. and if she wants to get off, see you later. i just gotta get that through my head. Listen dood, Believe me or not - if you could back in time, I can guarantee you that you'd do the same things all over again. Good people f up - better people learn and make the necessary changes. If you want to ride a bike, you will fall a few times. In time, you'll look back at the times you fell and see that it was a necessary evil and you'll be glad it happened. I'm not going to tell you to let go - I'm going to tell you to come to terms with what has happened first. So... come to terms with it. She was Not who you thought she was. She was Not this all-perfect girl. You're thinking exactly like I used to - "she was this amazing girl and I was the bad guy". Go with the flow, man. It's spring... and if you're not ready to move on, Don't. Stay away from girls for now and just look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself where you want to be. Motivate yourself. You don't need anyone. You're McGrupp and you're The man. Cheers
Recommended Posts