SummerLady Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I saw my exhusband Friday night and he has another girlfriend. This one really shocked me. I know looks are not the #1 thing but she was way rough, like my mouth dropped open like flies were going to come in. She and I had a short sweet convo but the look on my face must have been odd. He is good looking and she was scary, not kidding. Is it me or what? I am jusrt shocked but I know its not my business. Anyone have this experience. Maybe I have an impression of this person that is just not suitable, who knows......
mikeymad Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 This sounds rather assumptive, but maybe he has been hurt, and this is his rebound. By keeping his standards low (if this is in a purely looks based comment), he may have latched onto someone with low self esteem and he gives her worth. It may just be someone to fill the void where you were.
Woggle Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Maybe she treats him well and that is what matters to him.
Gunny376 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I guess that you didn't get the memo? They always trade down ~ because? They've already have had the best of the best!
2sunny Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 i am attractive and was married to a very attractive man for a very long time... when we divorced - i have said many times "i want the ugliest but nicest man i can find." still haven't dated much (been 5 years) but i think my senses are getting a bit more balanced as time goes along. hope that helps.
Tethys Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I find the more attractive women are usually higher maintenance, and vice-versa. Maybe he needs low maintenance. (I've been there.)
Author SummerLady Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 I guess that you didn't get the memo? They always trade down ~ because? They've already have had the best of the best! Gunny this is why I love your input!!! You are the best....
LonelyTiger Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 My ex isn't the best looking guy in the world, but I loved his face, because I loved him. One of my more brutally honest friends said when he left: "he wasn't exactly a 'looker' was he and he still managed to get himself a stunner" Very flattering, if a little OTT!!! (I think she was just trying to boost my badly damaged ego!) My point is that when I love someone, I love the person. How well matched we are 'looks wise' is not a consideration. The physical attraction, for me, is about much more than looks - it's the way he smells, the way he moves, the way he laughs etc, and if I feel good about myself when I'm with him then I'm hooked! I'd say your ex just has his priorities straight. This woman probably has many wonderful qualities and is too good for him to pass over just because she looks 'rough' - to you. Either that or Gunny's right - he's had to trade down cos there just isn't anybody out there better than you. Yep, SummerLady I agree - Gunny your little pearls of wisdom are a joy to read
You Go Girl Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 OP--honestly... This woman's looks or lack thereof really isn't the issue here... it hurt you to see him with somebody else. You compared yourself to her and deemed yourself better looking. That doesn't dull the pain. Otherwise, why this post? Looks are shallow.
Author SummerLady Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 OP--honestly... This woman's looks or lack thereof really isn't the issue here... it hurt you to see him with somebody else. You compared yourself to her and deemed yourself better looking. That doesn't dull the pain. Otherwise, why this post? Looks are shallow. I actually don't think I am that great looking I think I am average. It does hurt a little to see him with someone else. I was married to him and we have kids. I think my reaction was shocking to me, if that makes sense? I guess its a process. Plus what Gunny said:)
You Go Girl Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 We all compare, those who say they don't are lying to themselves! We all start to wonder what the new person has that we didn't--and if we're smart we smack ourselves in the head and say stop that train of thought it goes nowhere. I knew my 1st husband's wife was a mail order bride from China and was almost 15 years younger than me. But you know what...she told someone after meeting me at a funeral that I was beautiful, and that friend then told me what she said. She also had to have a pair of knee-high italian black leather boots like I was wearing, lol and bugged my ex or something like that until he bought her some. That was kind of creepy. But--it was sweet that she said I was beautiful. It really helped me to not harbor any resentment toward her and remember that not everyone has evil intentions that they are using to cover up their own insecurities. She was very pretty, but I didn't feel threatened. If anything it's just a strange weird feeling to see someone standing in your shoes so to speak--or lol--in your boots.
SRV Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I saw my exhusband Friday night and he has another girlfriend. This one really shocked me. I know looks are not the #1 thing but she was way rough, like my mouth dropped open like flies were going to come in. She and I had a short sweet convo but the look on my face must have been odd. He is good looking and she was scary, not kidding. Is it me or what? I am jusrt shocked but I know its not my business. Anyone have this experience. Maybe I have an impression of this person that is just not suitable, who knows...... As we grow older, you come to the realization that true beauty lies on the inside. Yes, you have to have a physical attraction to the person, I would rather have an average looking girl that treats me nice that a 10 whose heart is in the wrong place, go figure.
Gunny376 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 There's always going to be someone smarter/dumber, richer/poorer, better loooking / uglier than one's self. Therefor it is fruitless to do so? Not only fruitless, but pointless. We're all unique to and of oursleves. We each individually bring somehting to Life that no other can nor could. To that end ~ The healthest perspective to have is to say to one's self ~ "Better than most ~ worse than some"
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