Ruby Slippers Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I only got a FB account so I could tinker with it because I need to get a sense for it to run my business. I didn't realize that people post dozens of pictures. I also only got on myspace because friends kept nagging me to, and I myself have never had more than 10 pictures or so on my profile at a time. So, it would be very easy for me to delete pictures of exes. But even if it weren't quick and easy, I would still do it. For me personally, having pictures of an ex posted publicly is just tasteless and tacky. I can't even imagine starting a new relationship with pictures of me and an ex visible publicly online! And my ex who has pictures of me on his myspace page -- he only has about 10 pictures up, and 3 or 4 of them are of us being sappy and coupley. He logs in frequently and has uploaded NEW pictures and removed old ones, so it wouldn't be that hard to take down those. That suggests to me he's leaving them up on purpose, and I just can't imagine why he would want to do that a year and a half after we broke up, especially given that he's in a new relationship.
Author conehead Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 i only got a fb account so i could tinker with it because i need to get a sense for it to run my business. I didn't realize that people post dozens of pictures. I also only got on myspace because friends kept nagging me to, and i myself have never had more than 10 pictures or so on my profile at a time. So, it would be very easy for me to delete pictures of exes. But even if it weren't quick and easy, i would still do it. For me personally, having pictures of an ex posted publicly is just tasteless and tacky. I can't even imagine starting a new relationship with pictures of me and an ex visible publicly online! And my ex who has pictures of me on his myspace page -- he only has about 10 pictures up, and 3 or 4 of them are of us being sappy and coupley. He logs in frequently and has uploaded new pictures and removed old ones, so it wouldn't be that hard to take down those. That suggests to me he's leaving them up on purpose, and i just can't imagine why he would want to do that a year and a half after we broke up, especially given that he's in a new relationship. word!!! ..................................
Author conehead Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 Deleting pics from fb is just as easily done if not easier as removing framed photos of exes from your home and storing them in a box.
Twenty-ten Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Deleting pics from fb is just as easily done if not easier as removing framed photos of exes from your home and storing them in a box. Yeah but the difference is that when you have a pic up at home you are under the scrutiny of your new lover where as when it is done on FB you are under the scrutiny of 250 contacts. I tend to agree with MalachiX it is giving it wayyyy too much importance. Then again I have a few pics up of an ex boyfriend buried in one of my albums and have kept them there because they are very cool pics given what we are doing, it was in one of our travels. Not going to remove them and the guy couldn't be further out of my mind/heart. I would be more worried about what I carry in my head and heart for other x's, SO not him. It's all relative. Yeah if you click on someone's profile and all you see is album after album of them smooching and having fun, ok fine.
VeveCakes Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Heres the thing though, if they are cool pictures - fair enough - but why do you need them on Facebook for everyone to see? Why not keep them on YOUR home computer so you can see them when you want to. Whether people want to admit it or not, everything posted on facebook is for other people to see. I deleted all the pictures of my ex's once I was certain the relationship was over for good. How would you feel if you met someone and all these pics of them and their exs are scattered throughout their albums? It seems so brutal to me. Does it really bother people to NOT have those pics of their exs up? Thats what I don't get. I just find it disrespectful if you are dating someone to have people from your past on your Faceboook.
Twenty-ten Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 It depends on the nature of the picture. My pics are action shots they are shots taken in our travels and they are really cool pics that I like and he just so happens to be in them. We are not canoodling or sitting on the beach arm in arm watching the sunset with love in our eyes those style of pics are my private pics, they are not on FB. So given the nature of the pics I feel it's fine to have them up. The reality is I shared those moments with that man, just like my current man shared moments with his ex. I don't want or have access to my current guy's FB and he is not on my list of contacts. It's better that way. I don't care if a guy I am seeing has pics up of the same nature, he's with me not her so who cares? You have to be a little bit more secure in what you have together, a few pics is fine. Albums and albums of them showing love and "special loving moments" maybe not.
MalachiX Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Heres the thing though, if they are cool pictures - fair enough - but why do you need them on Facebook for everyone to see? Why not keep them on YOUR home computer so you can see them when you want to. Whether people want to admit it or not, everything posted on facebook is for other people to see. Yes but facebook is also communal. People post pictures of events that happened and then tag you if you happen to be in the picture. Tons of my FB photos were not even taken by me. All these come together to form a narrative of sorts (I'm a filmmaker so excuse me being pretentious). Some really great pictures of some really great moments are on my facebook account but so are a ton of candid shots of me talking with random friends, tipsy at a party, or just doing something wacky. Even though I'm embarassed by some pictures I'm always happy that they exist. I just don't believe in picking and chosing which memories I should be awknowladging. Once again, that doesn't seem healthy. I'm not gonna go on FB and post old pictures of my EX and I certainly won't have them hanging in my home but I don't really feel the need to broadcast to all my friends, "HEY! I can't deal with havn't photographic evidence of a prior relationship!" I deleted all the pictures of my ex's once I was certain the relationship was over for good. How would you feel if you met someone and all these pics of them and their exs are scattered throughout their albums? It seems so brutal to me. That's a hard question. Yes, I do get a bit irked when hearing about the EXes of someone I'm dating but I don't think they should pretend they've never been with anybody else. I guess I'd simply chose not to look at the pictures with her EX in them. The girl I just started dating has a few pictures of her smiling with other guys. I don't know which one if any is her EX but I wouldn't expect her to remove the pics just for my sake. Does it really bother people to NOT have those pics of their exs up? Thats what I don't get. I just find it disrespectful if you are dating someone to have people from your past on your Faceboook. Like I said before, it just feels like every bit of energy or action you take to try to erase the previous relationship indicates you're not over it. I already did the ritual of getting rid of all the pictures and other objects that remind me of my EX. I didn't think to delete FB pictures then and I don't feel like giving it any importance now.
Crazy Magnet Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 The pics I didn't remove were world traveling pics. I really don't want a bunch of actions shots of me around the world by myself. Even if I removed every photo of the last long term relationship I had, dozens upon dozens of photos posted by friends have us both tagged in them. In my 30's, I would feel quite childish calling up all my friends asking them to delete the pictures of us. Regardless, some pics are just going to end up there. I prefer to let my photos get buried in the mass of albums and give my new guy a nice new album all to himself right up in the front!! That way he knows where he stands, and so does everybody else.
aerogurl87 Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 When my ex and I broke up I untagged every picture of myself with him in it on facebook and deleted those pictures from my photo albums. After that I went through and deleted all his comments he'd made to my page. Odd thing is, he blocked me on facebook, but still has pics of us up together on his page along with comments. I really don't get it, but hey, some people are just lazy I guess.
Author conehead Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 IMO, The best and healthiest breakups are clean ones...without contact, ties, etc. This is what is healthiest for future relationships. I personally just don't want to make my future bf feel insecure, unsure, or just plain unhappy/bothered etc because of some pics. It's not worth the risk to me. To each his own i suppose.
Author conehead Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 When my ex and I broke up I untagged every picture of myself with him in it on facebook and deleted those pictures from my photo albums. After that I went through and deleted all his comments he'd made to my page. Odd thing is, he blocked me on facebook, but still has pics of us up together on his page along with comments. I really don't get it, but hey, some people are just lazy I guess. That's what I did as well!! I do it partly to get over the breakup faster and mainly because I don't want my future bf seeing this stuff...it's unnnecessary for him to see it.
Awesome Username Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Wow, I'm giving the new guy I'm dating sh*t because he doesn't believe in changing his facebook status...but I'm starting to see why. Is it dumb to even put pictures of the two of you all cuddly on there? In a way, it's noone's business.
Krytie TV Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 I think one of the reasons is that the culture of facebook is all about how many friends you have. No one deletes anyone ever because if they only had 487 friends that they didn't know or like instead of 488 friends they didn't know or like, then they would be a loser.
confused_pjl Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 When my Ex broke up with me and I found it it was for another guy I removed all photos of her on my FB and untagged myself from hers. I also asked all my family and friends to remove her as I didn't want her to know my business and I don't want to hear about hers. She also still has pics of the 2 of us on her FB, she will also occasionally put a picture of 1 of our dogs as her profile pic. The dog she left with me.
aerogurl87 Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 That's what I did as well!! I do it partly to get over the breakup faster and mainly because I don't want my future bf seeing this stuff...it's unnnecessary for him to see it. Agreed, and I really would've thought he would've deleted all those pics and comments since 90% of them were us together being all lovey dovey (ex. kissing, cuddling, etc) and most of them had comments that were like "I love you", "miss you", etc. But then I found out he wasn't over me so maybe that's why he left them up. Either way as soon as we broke up everything that had to do with him on my profile got deleted within a week.
Alexz Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 Neither my husband or myself have Fb or myspace accounts, although I did have a myspace peer pressured account and deleted it years ago, through non-use. These social network sites really seem to complicate life, rather than help or be fun. If people are okay with having pics of their exes, having to look at them all the time, whether they're dumpers or dumpees, more power to them. Myself, it would rip my heart out, if I was trying to get over someone. Pride at your own expense, seems pretty worthless. This is the troof. I understand people like communication through profile sites such as FaceSpace or MyBook, or whatever the hell the new ones are. I just see them a bit shallow and full of drama. For the OP, I think it's silly to have reminders of a previous relationships through an internet profile-viewing webpage. Very very strange.
Twenty-ten Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 IMO, The best and healthiest breakups are clean ones...without contact, ties, etc. totally agree and partake in this style of breakup however with all the forms of contact that exist today, if it's not FB it's email, if it's not email it's work email if it's not that it's text, or IM, the possibilities are endless to be in touch and you are going to worry about some pics on FB?
Author conehead Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 Another thing is that my family members have fb too. I don't want them to add my future bf and see that my future bf has bunch of pics of him kissing other girls. That would really embarrass me. If it really is the past, best to remove it so that it doesn't cause future complications and drama.
Author conehead Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 totally agree and partake in this style of breakup however with all the forms of contact that exist today, if it's not FB it's email, if it's not email it's work email if it's not that it's text, or IM, the possibilities are endless to be in touch and you are going to worry about some pics on FB? See reasons above.
foreverlove06 Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 I take down the kissing ones, those are just weird... but other ones that arent obvious that we were dating, I leave up. I dont mind if my new boyfriend sees them, that was in the past... And plus, I feel like by taking down all the pictures of my ex, its like a slap in the face to him-- Its like saying "Hey, im erasing you from my existence", which is not true. So as long as the pictures are mild, I leave them...
aerogurl87 Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 And plus, I feel like by taking down all the pictures of my ex, its like a slap in the face to him-- Its like saying "Hey, im erasing you from my existence" That's exactly why I got rid of all the pics of my ex and I together. I was erasing him from my existence and memory, and he was very well aware of it.
BG1985 Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 I take down the kissing ones, those are just weird... but other ones that arent obvious that we were dating, I leave up. I dont mind if my new boyfriend sees them, that was in the past... And plus, I feel like by taking down all the pictures of my ex, its like a slap in the face to him-- Its like saying "Hey, im erasing you from my existence", which is not true. So as long as the pictures are mild, I leave them... In the end, why do you care what your ex thinks? There's no point in unnecessarily holding on to the past. It just makes it harder for both of you to move on.
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