Silver_star Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I disagree with this totally. Completely blowing someone off is not excusable. If she is figuring something out, or going through a rough time, ignoring someone you are dating and standing them up is just plain wrong. It is not impossible to be going through a really rough time and calling someone or letting them know what is going on. Becoming distant and ignoring calls and standing someone up without an explanation is inexcusable. Does the OP really want to date someone that when the chips are down will cut him off completely? Does he want someone that stands him up without an explanation whenever she had a rough day? No matter how bad her situation was a simple phone call and explanation is what an adult would do. For my money I would say she found someone else and that didn't work out so she is trying to get her second choice back. If she cared about him she would not have ignored him no matter what the situation was. She could have broken it off or told him she didn't want to date at that time, but treating someone like they don't exist or aren't important enough to return a phone call is not an acceptable response for any self-respecting person. I am just saying maybe the reason why the OP felt guilty is because of the curiousity of WHAT exactly was going on that was so important that she could not get back to him. HE doesnt know what those reasons are, you dont know what those reasons are. So whether its "excusable" or not doesnt really matter. Maybe he would like to know, maybe thats why he feels guilty because he claimed he did "really like" this girl up until this incident.
Author juan1212 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 She blames you? WTF? I would erase her number and anytime a unknown number calls send it to F-ing voice mail. dont put up with her crap! EVER. Your gonna be happy later. Yeah she blamed me the first time before all this happened. She said something like " so now your not talking to me?" I did erase her number a month ago.
Silver_star Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Hey thanks for responding CRH.. I have to agree with you on this. She blew me off and ignored me which is rude as hell. All she had to do was send me a text or a short phone call the night she blew me off. If I was interested in someone and I had to cancel I dam sure would have let them know. I know this women has issues but we all do, so I dont care what the reason was. I have completly disappered on her in the last month which probably has her wondering what happened to me.. Great OP. well if you no longer care, then this thread is now obsolete unless your just blowing off steam about how much a jerk she is and it seems like you got the reassurance you were looking for.
Author juan1212 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 I am just saying maybe the reason why the OP felt guilty is because of the curiousity of WHAT exactly was going on that was so important that she could not get back to him. HE doesnt know what those reasons are, you dont know what those reasons are. So whether its "excusable" or not doesnt really matter. Maybe he would like to know, maybe thats why he feels guilty because he claimed he did "really like" this girl up until this incident. I can see where your coming from silver. I did like this girl and I do still have some feelings for her. It doesnt matter if Im still into her, its still rude, right? I do think of what could have been, but It seems the majority here think Im the back burner guy. Belive me Id like to answer her but I cant for my own well being. She chose to end things not me, right?
phineas Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 She tried to blame it on me once before, so it wouldnt suprise me if thats the next message I get. Sounds like ignoring is the best way to go, so thats what Ill do.. Thanks phineas No problem. I managed to go LC with my STBXW. I was with her almost 7 yrs. This chick I know is barely farm team when it comes to a cheating spouce in the game playing category.
Silver_star Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I can see where your coming from silver. I did like this girl and I do still have some feelings for her. It doesnt matter if Im still into her, its still rude, right? I do think of what could have been, but It seems the majority here think Im the back burner guy. Belive me Id like to answer her but I cant for my own well being. She chose to end things not me, right? I am pretty confident that you are the one shutting the door on this one. She may have been rude by not getting back to you as she should have, but NOT knowing the circumstances has lead you to make the assumption that shes not interested...which MAY NOT be the case. So I feel like if you still have feelings for her you should not let this stop you. It could be a minor speedbump in something that may be great for you, but you will never know if you just assume shes a bitch and walk away. You can do that if you want, but there is no shame in replying to her (it doesnt make you weak) and asking her what her deal was before in not getting back to you.
Author juan1212 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 No problem. I managed to go LC with my STBXW. I was with her almost 7 yrs. This chick I know is barely farm team when it comes to a cheating spouce in the game playing category. Dam man 7 years is a long time.. I guess we live and learn from all these bad reltionships.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I am pretty confident that you are the one shutting the door on this one. She may have been rude by not getting back to you as she should have, but NOT knowing the circumstances has lead you to make the assumption that shes not interested...which MAY NOT be the case. So I feel like if you still have feelings for her you should not let this stop you. It could be a minor speedbump in something that may be great for you, but you will never know if you just assume shes a bitch and walk away. You can do that if you want, but there is no shame in replying to her (it doesnt make you weak) and asking her what her deal was before in not getting back to you. Bull crap silver she's not interested. stop making excuses for her!
Author juan1212 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 I am pretty confident that you are the one shutting the door on this one. She may have been rude by not getting back to you as she should have, but NOT knowing the circumstances has lead you to make the assumption that shes not interested...which MAY NOT be the case. So I feel like if you still have feelings for her you should not let this stop you. It could be a minor speedbump in something that may be great for you, but you will never know if you just assume shes a bitch and walk away. You can do that if you want, but there is no shame in replying to her (it doesnt make you weak) and asking her what her deal was before in not getting back to you. Thanks Silver its good to hear another side.. Are you a female? I may be shutting the door but I think she deserves that from the way she treated me. I dont want to be anybodys number 2 guy. Your right I dont know the circumstances, but her actions gave me enough, you know? She cut me off without saying anything to me.
Silver_star Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Bull crap silver she's not interested. stop making excuses for her! Wow. Re-read. Im not making excuses for her. I am simply trying to help OP out with his original posting. I dont know what agenda you have. But i have analyzed the situation and assessed possibilities and you are just making blanket assumptions based on your own preconcieved notions. Sorry bud.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Wow. Re-read. Im not making excuses for her. I am simply trying to help OP out with his original posting. I dont know what agenda you have. But i have analyzed the situation and assessed possibilities and you are just making blanket assumptions based on your own preconcieved notions. Sorry bud. ...I am not your bud. am pretty confident that you are the one shutting the door on this one. She may have been rude by not getting back to you as she should have, but NOT knowing the circumstances has lead you to make the assumption that shes not interested...which MAY NOT be the case. So I feel like if you still have feelings for her you should not let this stop you. It could be a minor speedbump in something that may be great for you, but you will never know if you just assume shes a bitch and walk away. You can do that if you want, but there is no shame in replying to her (it doesnt make you weak) and asking her what her deal was before in not getting back to you. Bullcrap, if she liked him she would have kept showing him she did, but like we said she's playing games. We all know it. it's not like she may like you, and whatnot. his assumption is correct.
Silver_star Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Thanks Silver its good to hear another side.. Are you a female? I may be shutting the door but I think she deserves that from the way she treated me. I dont want to be anybodys number 2 guy. Your right I dont know the circumstances, but her actions gave me enough, you know? She cut me off without saying anything to me. I am female. If the shoe were on the other foot. I can see how you might feel like a pushover if you allow her a chance at redeeming herself. BUT i also know that its a no-win situation right now. You were trying to get a hold of her then and she was not there. She is trying to get a hold of you now, and your not there. The balls in your court now. If you are TRULY that upset and disgusted about her lateness in getting back to you, then clearly you need to accept its not going to happen anymore, move on and ignore her requests. But be honest to yourself, because clearly it bothers you that she temporarily shunned you and it seems to me like you are now ignoring her of spite but not out of dis-interest. Maybe your that upset because you liked her alot, and it stung, but instead of trying to "get even" or something just either move on, or do the simple and grown up thing and TALK TO HER. really. Im not trying to be condecending. IT makes so much sense to me. Nothing to lose really.
Silver_star Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 ...I am not your bud. am pretty confident that you are the one shutting the door on this one. She may have been rude by not getting back to you as she should have, but NOT knowing the circumstances has lead you to make the assumption that shes not interested...which MAY NOT be the case. So I feel like if you still have feelings for her you should not let this stop you. It could be a minor speedbump in something that may be great for you, but you will never know if you just assume shes a bitch and walk away. You can do that if you want, but there is no shame in replying to her (it doesnt make you weak) and asking her what her deal was before in not getting back to you. Bullcrap, if she liked him she would have kept showing him she did, but like we said she's playing games. We all know it. it's not like she may like you, and whatnot. his assumption is correct. Im sorry i was talking to someone so ALL KNOWING. You sound ridiculous. Jeeesh.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Im sorry i was talking to someone so ALL KNOWING. You sound ridiculous. Jeeesh. LOL i am not all knowing but i see the situation for what it is... If i am wrong let the OP. update us on the situation. Matter of fact i want the op right now to call her up and arrange a date and come back and lets see what his response would be!!!
phineas Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Dam man 7 years is a long time.. I guess we live and learn from all these bad reltionships. well, she was only cheating on me the last 3.
Author juan1212 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 I am female. If the shoe were on the other foot. I can see how you might feel like a pushover if you allow her a chance at redeeming herself. BUT i also know that its a no-win situation right now. You were trying to get a hold of her then and she was not there. She is trying to get a hold of you now, and your not there. The balls in your court now. If you are TRULY that upset and disgusted about her lateness in getting back to you, then clearly you need to accept its not going to happen anymore, move on and ignore her requests. But be honest to yourself, because clearly it bothers you that she temporarily shunned you and it seems to me like you are now ignoring her of spite but not out of dis-interest. Maybe your that upset because you liked her alot, and it stung, but instead of trying to "get even" or something just either move on, or do the simple and grown up thing and TALK TO HER. really. Im not trying to be condecending. IT makes so much sense to me. Nothing to lose really. Thanks again for you input. In my original post I said I would consider responding if she apoligized, but she hasnt. Shes sending me messages like nothing has happened, and Im not ok with that. If I did this to someone and was truly interested my first contact would be an apolgy. Yes it stung a lot and bothered me a great deal, but Im feeling a lot better then a month ago. I stil am somewhat interested and can see where your coming from. It is a no win situation but if I respond I think I have a lot to lose by being rejected again. you know?
Author juan1212 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 LOL i am not all knowing but i see the situation for what it is... If i am wrong let the OP. update us on the situation. Matter of fact i want the op right now to call her up and arrange a date and come back and lets see what his response would be!!! Thats def not going to happen.. HAHA.. I will not be the guinea pig.. HAHA
Author juan1212 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 well, she was only cheating on me the last 3. Oh man that sucks!! How long ago did this happen?
Silver_star Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 LOL i am not all knowing but i see the situation for what it is... If i am wrong let the OP. update us on the situation. Matter of fact i want the op right now to call her up and arrange a date and come back and lets see what his response would be!!! Well if he were to call her up he would be taking the initiative to ease his curiosity which is what i advised anyways. So thank you for agreeing with me. IM not assuming this girl is a beotch, and im not assuming shes not. IM saying he doesnt know, because he doesnt and you dont know that, and until there is actual interaction that proves otherwise (which is what you are suggesting) then we wont know. If he has feelings for her I assume she is probably a decent enough girl. Dont know what your so angry about chrome. aha
phineas Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 LOL i am not all knowing but i see the situation for what it is... If i am wrong let the OP. update us on the situation. Matter of fact i want the op right now to call her up and arrange a date and come back and lets see what his response would be!!! One of two things will happen. She'll disapear on him again or she'll let him spend his money on her & then disapear.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 ...LOL. Why does everyone think i so angry? ...I'm not. just pissed off because i seen this happen too many times for it to be a coincidence and I'm not making assumptions more often than not it's fact!
Silver_star Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Thanks again for you input. In my original post I said I would consider responding if she apoligized, but she hasnt. Shes sending me messages like nothing has happened, and Im not ok with that. If I did this to someone and was truly interested my first contact would be an apolgy. Yes it stung a lot and bothered me a great deal, but Im feeling a lot better then a month ago. I stil am somewhat interested and can see where your coming from. It is a no win situation but if I respond I think I have a lot to lose by being rejected again. you know? But she doestn have the ability to read your mind or maybe she doesnt even know how upset this made you. Just saying. ASK for an apology, and maybe you will get one. Heck, even DEMAND she apologize. She doesnt even know that it upset you at this point so how can she be sorry? If she doesnt think thats reasonable then walk away. Hey im just trying to help you out. If your scared of being rejected again join the hundreds of thousands of people that are also scared to be rejected...it wont make you regret it less later. If you are really done, and I mean just done with her though. Then thread over. Whats the point in beating a dead horse. If you have made up your mind, go for it and let us know how it turns out.
Silver_star Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 ...LOL. Why does everyone think i so angry? ...I'm not. just pissed off because i seen this happen too many times for it to be a coincidence and I'm not making assumptions more often than not it's fact! Ive seem violence against women too many times. Does that mean every man I approach is going to take a swing? NO. You cant make blanket generalizations about behavior of the opposite sex...you can approach the situation with caution and that is all, but its going to be hard to have a good relationship with anyone if they do ONE thing to make you upset and then you dismiss them. Everyone has faults.
phineas Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Oh man that sucks!! How long ago did this happen? Found out last April. I'd be divorced by now if I didn't have to declare bankruptsy. Far as i'm concerned she's just the driver to take my kids to their part-time home. But i'm good with it. now. My life sucked so badly for the last few yrs being married. i'm actually quite happy being single. I'm with you on the rudeness. If this chick showed me she learned some manners & apoligized I would of given her a 2nd chance. Instead just a day or two after the blow-off she sent me a "hi" text as if nothing happened. I played along for about two texts to see if she'd apologize & nada so I put the phone down & stepped away. LOL! i've never forgotten a date with a woman & never just not showed up either. If I need to cancel I do properly by apologizing & arranging for a new time.
Author juan1212 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 But she doestn have the ability to read your mind or maybe she doesnt even know how upset this made you. Just saying. ASK for an apology, and maybe you will get one. Heck, even DEMAND she apologize. She doesnt even know that it upset you at this point so how can she be sorry? If she doesnt think thats reasonable then walk away. Hey im just trying to help you out. If your scared of being rejected again join the hundreds of thousands of people that are also scared to be rejected...it wont make you regret it less later. If you are really done, and I mean just done with her though. Then thread over. Whats the point in beating a dead horse. If you have made up your mind, go for it and let us know how it turns out. Yes I know she cant read minds, but if I stand someone up I know what I did and know its wrong. I know you trying to help me out and its great to have a womens point of view. Im already part of the rejection group so maybe your right. I dont know what to do thats why Im here. Id like to be done but I cant turn off my feelings thats impossible.
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