juan1212 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 So basically I was rejected by this women I was seeing. We hit it off in the begining but then she stood me up and started acting distant and cold toward me. I tryed to get in touch with a couple times and she ignored me, so I got the idea and gave up. I deleted her number and ( with the help from the people here ) decided not to talk to her anymore. I felt I was treated very poorly by her and felt disrespected by her. In the last month I have ignored her 4 times, but she keeps trying to get in contact with me. In the 4 times she has not apoligized for being rude and ignoring and dissapearing on me. I would consider responiding if she did apoligize. Now the weird thing is I feel guilty for not responding, why is this? I know I shouldnt but I do. Am I now the one who is rejecting her? Instead of her being the rejecter? I still do have some feelings for her so I know responding to her is a bad idea as it will set me back a whole lot.
Chicago_Guy Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 It appears as though she just wants attention. I wouldn't waste any time on her after the way she treated you previously.
boogieboy Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Youre doing the right thing, dont give in to her. She wasnt into you enough to want you fully the first time, screw her. Whoever she was with, it didnt work out with them, and youre the backup. Screw dat.
Author juan1212 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 Youre doing the right thing, dont give in to her. She wasnt into you enough to want you fully the first time, screw her. Whoever she was with, it didnt work out with them, and youre the backup. Screw dat. Thanks boogieboy!! You always have good advice and you helped me a lot. I just dont get why she keeps trying to talk to me, I havent responded to her at all. Why cant she just leave me alone?
boogieboy Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Thanks boogieboy!! You always have good advice and you helped me a lot. I just dont get why she keeps trying to talk to me, I havent responded to her at all. Why cant she just leave me alone? Its because she has no pride, she needs validation from you that she is still desired - after she failed with the last guy. Thats why she wont stop. Also because you ignoring her makes her wonder...and ignoring her hurts alot more than telling her to scram.
sugarmomma Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I would call her back just to see what she wants. But know this, if you start dating her again she will probably reject you again since she is showing signs of classic narcissistic behavior. They can't stand to be ignored. You just have to know who you are dealing with here. She is very thoughtless and disrespectful. Once you talk to her and send a subtle message that you don't want to be bothered, she'll let go. Unless, you still want her? If you do still want to be with her, don't call her.
St. Nick Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 No, don't call her back to see what she wants because you know what she wants: attention. And she shouldn't get your attention cuz it's not for freeloaders.
paleblue Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 i agree with the other posters, even if you decided to talk she will prob just do it again. ya i could see if she at least apologized. but she prob doesnt even think she did anything. in which case you def are better off without someone that oblivious to other peoples feelings. just had to launch one just like that myself a couple weeks ago.
Sith Apprentice Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 In the last month I have ignored her 4 times, but she keeps trying to get in contact with me. In the 4 times she has not apoligized for being rude and ignoring and dissapearing on me. I would consider responiding if she did apoligize. Textbook Attention wh0re behavior. I've been in this exact situation many times before. A woman will blow me off, but then come out of the woodwork when she realizes I can live without her and I won't grovel for her attention like all the AFC's she's used to. I don't give second chances either. The biggest mistake you could make is caving in and contact her. Why bother? She doesn't deserve it.
Silver_star Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 So basically I was rejected by this women I was seeing. We hit it off in the begining but then she stood me up and started acting distant and cold toward me. I tryed to get in touch with a couple times and she ignored me, so I got the idea and gave up. I deleted her number and ( with the help from the people here ) decided not to talk to her anymore. I felt I was treated very poorly by her and felt disrespected by her. In the last month I have ignored her 4 times, but she keeps trying to get in contact with me. In the 4 times she has not apoligized for being rude and ignoring and dissapearing on me. I would consider responiding if she did apoligize. Now the weird thing is I feel guilty for not responding, why is this? I know I shouldnt but I do. Am I now the one who is rejecting her? Instead of her being the rejecter? I still do have some feelings for her so I know responding to her is a bad idea as it will set me back a whole lot. You dont know the reason why she was not getting back to you. It may have been legit reasons, maybe not. But who knows, maybe she was trying to sort out her life so she could make time for you or maybe she was with someone else but decided after meeting you that she had to break it off..aha who knows? There are so many reasons she might have, maybe thats why you feel guilty because you really liked her and despite her not calling you back, you are not wanting to regret maybe giving it an actual chance now that shes come around. If you have feelings for her then what you are doing is a no-win situation. You have to be the bigger person sometimes.
phineas Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I'm in the same situation. Woman chased me. Asked me to hang out. We hung out & made plans & she blew me off. Never apologized or explained. The difference was I knew where to find her so I asked her what her deal was & she had to admit she was dateing somebody. I lost her number & ignored her. 5 or 6 months later she's paying my all kinds of attention but I really don't care. She's called me once, late at night during the week but didn't leave a message. not calling her back. Don't feel guilty either though. I have no desire to date her simply because of the way she acted. I might cut her some slack because when she was at my house the STBXW drove by, saw a car she didn't recognize & called the house like 5 times in consecutive order. Ok, maybe she didn't want to deal with that. Then why make plans with me? Why not just be honest & tell me? Why blow me off & ignore my call & text & text me later & act like it never happened? weak. I expect her to call again. I expect it will go to voicemail. It can't be that important if she didn't leave a message.
soulm8 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I'm dealing with this right now too. It's getting old because it seems to be a pattern with this one guy I was seeing. He's really intense for about a month and then he practically falls off the face of the earth for varying stints, a week, sometimes a month! I feel rejected and try to focus on my life so I won't come across as needy and chalk it up to living and learning. Just when I start dating again, he finally makes contact and asks if I've met someone - as if I'm the one that rejected HIM. It feels like a game and it's easier said than done to just ignore, when you love them and want them in your life.
Left in a Lurch Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 You dont know the reason why she was not getting back to you. It may have been legit reasons, maybe not. But who knows, maybe she was trying to sort out her life so she could make time for you or maybe she was with someone else but decided after meeting you that she had to break it off..aha who knows? There are so many reasons she might have, maybe thats why you feel guilty because you really liked her and despite her not calling you back, you are not wanting to regret maybe giving it an actual chance now that shes come around. If you have feelings for her then what you are doing is a no-win situation. You have to be the bigger person sometimes. I disagree with this totally. Completely blowing someone off is not excusable. If she is figuring something out, or going through a rough time, ignoring someone you are dating and standing them up is just plain wrong. It is not impossible to be going through a really rough time and calling someone or letting them know what is going on. Becoming distant and ignoring calls and standing someone up without an explanation is inexcusable. Does the OP really want to date someone that when the chips are down will cut him off completely? Does he want someone that stands him up without an explanation whenever she had a rough day? No matter how bad her situation was a simple phone call and explanation is what an adult would do. For my money I would say she found someone else and that didn't work out so she is trying to get her second choice back. If she cared about him she would not have ignored him no matter what the situation was. She could have broken it off or told him she didn't want to date at that time, but treating someone like they don't exist or aren't important enough to return a phone call is not an acceptable response for any self-respecting person.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Dude, I'm 29, right. Ran into a woman with the same issues. I asked for her number thinking she was serious about hanging out, getting close. Not only did she promise to call me back after abruptly hanging up on me she did it twice. and now acts like it never happened. Homie. I learned my lesson it seems like chicks play games no matter how old you get, or anything else. It seems that this whole game she has in her mind is just one big mindf*** you dont have to deal with. My advice. find someone else, and let her know she's an idiot and it's her loss plain and simple.
phineas Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Homie. I learned my lesson it seems like chicks play games no matter how old you get, or anything else. It seems that this whole game she has in her mind is just one big mindf*** you dont have to deal with. Yep. the one i talked about is 35. My advice. find someone else, and let her know she's an idiot and it's her loss plain and simple. They usually figure that out on their own. Only it's after they have run out of options & are going through a dry spell.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Yep. the one i talked about is 35. Damn she was 35, what a goofball, she didnt know what she wanted by that age, then she is an idiot. They usually figure that out on their own. Only it's after they have run out of options & are going through a dry spell. Tell me about it, no man should be number 2 for any chick! yep i learned things the hard wy.
Author juan1212 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 Thanks to everyone who responded.. You guys have given me some good advice and made me think more about the situation. What really made me mad is the fact the she stood me up and then tried to talk to me like it never happened. I think its very rude and shows thats shes only thinking of herself. I did eventually talk to her after it happened but then she started acting shady so I backed off. Im a good person and dont deserve to be treated bad as I was always good to her. She ignored me and I gave up and am trying to move on from her. Im assuming she went back to her kids father for a little and realized what she already knew ( deadbeat ) about him. Whatever the reason was cant change the way I feel as I know this will probably happen again if I start talking to her again. I feel like telling her to leave me alone, but ignoring her will most likely be the better option. What do you guys think?
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Thanks to everyone who responded.. You guys have given me some good advice and made me think more about the situation. What really made me mad is the fact the she stood me up and then tried to talk to me like it never happened. I think its very rude and shows thats shes only thinking of herself. I did eventually talk to her after it happened but then she started acting shady so I backed off. Im a good person and dont deserve to be treated bad as I was always good to her. She ignored me and I gave up and am trying to move on from her. Im assuming she went back to her kids father for a little and realized what she already knew ( deadbeat ) about him. Whatever the reason was cant change the way I feel as I know this will probably happen again if I start talking to her again. I feel like telling her to leave me alone, but ignoring her will most likely be the better option. What do you guys think? ...continue to ignore her, shes a loser.
phineas Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 yep i learned things the hard wy. I married a lieing, cheating, manipulating woman. errr, I guess that's learning the hard-way also. LOL!
Author juan1212 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 I disagree with this totally. Completely blowing someone off is not excusable. If she is figuring something out, or going through a rough time, ignoring someone you are dating and standing them up is just plain wrong. It is not impossible to be going through a really rough time and calling someone or letting them know what is going on. Becoming distant and ignoring calls and standing someone up without an explanation is inexcusable. Does the OP really want to date someone that when the chips are down will cut him off completely? Does he want someone that stands him up without an explanation whenever she had a rough day? No matter how bad her situation was a simple phone call and explanation is what an adult would do. For my money I would say she found someone else and that didn't work out so she is trying to get her second choice back. If she cared about him she would not have ignored him no matter what the situation was. She could have broken it off or told him she didn't want to date at that time, but treating someone like they don't exist or aren't important enough to return a phone call is not an acceptable response for any self-respecting person. Hey thanks for responding CRH.. I have to agree with you on this. She blew me off and ignored me which is rude as hell. All she had to do was send me a text or a short phone call the night she blew me off. If I was interested in someone and I had to cancel I dam sure would have let them know. I know this women has issues but we all do, so I dont care what the reason was. I have completly disappered on her in the last month which probably has her wondering what happened to me..
phineas Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Thanks to everyone who responded.. You guys have given me some good advice and made me think more about the situation. What really made me mad is the fact the she stood me up and then tried to talk to me like it never happened. I think its very rude and shows thats shes only thinking of herself. I did eventually talk to her after it happened but then she started acting shady so I backed off. Im a good person and dont deserve to be treated bad as I was always good to her. She ignored me and I gave up and am trying to move on from her. Im assuming she went back to her kids father for a little and realized what she already knew ( deadbeat ) about him. Whatever the reason was cant change the way I feel as I know this will probably happen again if I start talking to her again. I feel like telling her to leave me alone, but ignoring her will most likely be the better option. What do you guys think? Ignore her. She will either go away or come at you with some "what's your problem crap" If you tell her off when she calls she will make it out that YOU are the one with the issue. So ignore her.
Author juan1212 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 ...continue to ignore her, shes a loser. Thanks man!! I def am going to ignore her It seems like that sends a better message. I dont have anything nice to say to her or about her so why talk to her? I never made myself look bad so it really is her loss.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 She's probably one of those women that thinking treating you like crap will make you want her more, like playing hard to get. but ladies if your reading this listen guys will be turned off by your crazy azz antics. I for one included. Women like this has no idea what they are doing, and you are better off without them.
Author juan1212 Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 Ignore her. She will either go away or come at you with some "what's your problem crap" If you tell her off when she calls she will make it out that YOU are the one with the issue. So ignore her. She tried to blame it on me once before, so it wouldnt suprise me if thats the next message I get. Sounds like ignoring is the best way to go, so thats what Ill do.. Thanks phineas
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 She tried to blame it on me once before, so it wouldnt suprise me if thats the next message I get. Sounds like ignoring is the best way to go, so thats what Ill do.. Thanks phineas She blames you? WTF? I would erase her number and anytime a unknown number calls send it to F-ing voice mail. dont put up with her crap! EVER. Your gonna be happy later.
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