IamIam Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I don't know what to make of this. Girl I've been talking to asks me if I have a woman. I tell her no and that I'm just talking to a few. She says that makes her mad and why bother talking to her then. I told her I don't know what she wants from me. She says she has too much going on right now to give me what I want. I don't understand that. Mad that I'm talking to other girls and then tell me you don't know what you want. I'm just confused. I know the best thing to do is leave her alone. But sheesh why even say that to me?
meerkat stew Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 They like to keep their options as open as possible while limiting yours as much as possible, just the way it goes, and that's why she got mad when you mentioned you were talking to others. In your shoes, I'd leave that one be.
DustySaltus Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 She's selfish enough to want you for herself and lazy enough to not put forth the effort needed to do so. EVERYONE has stuff going on in their lives AT ALL times. Bad excuse. When a woman wants to be with you, they'll make a full fledged effort. Let her know clear and concisely what you are looking for and then disappear for a while. Let her chase you so that if and when she does come on strong it will be for the right reasons.
St. Nick Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Everything you said was correct until the third paragraph, Dusty. He shouldn't want her to chase her at all. She sounds either flaky, a tease, or too immature. The original poster should forget about her entirely. You're right, Dusty, if she wants the dude then she'll make a full-fledged effort and not have his response be some bs excuse for not pursuing. My advice: forget about her.
Author IamIam Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 Exactly what I am doing right now. Forgetting about her. What do i do if she texts me just random stuff acting friendly or calling me. Just completely ignore it or just act friendly and disinterested?
Silver_star Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I don't know what to make of this. Girl I've been talking to asks me if I have a woman. I tell her no and that I'm just talking to a few. She says that makes her mad and why bother talking to her then. I told her I don't know what she wants from me. She says she has too much going on right now to give me what I want. I don't understand that. Mad that I'm talking to other girls and then tell me you don't know what you want. I'm just confused. I know the best thing to do is leave her alone. But sheesh why even say that to me? Im not going to rationalize it for you. It doesnt need to be rationalized. You are both in the dating game, or pre dating game, and no one really owes anyone rationalization if you rub them the wrong way. My thought (as a woman) is that you rubbed her the wrong way by telling her you were talking to other woman too (not committed but interested in talking to other women). This is a fair statement, however, if you were interested in keeping her around you may have kept that tidbit to yourself because it rubbed her the wrong way because she now feels like nothing special. If you are going to pursue a woman of interest i wouldnt tell her that you are also pursuing many others. She was probably interested in getting to know you more until you told her that you are not going to be as available as she liked because you are chatting up other women. Everyone has their irks, maybe this was hers. She probably just said she had too much going on, so she wouldnt make herself seem too vulnerable to your multi-tasking ways. lol. I dont think that dating or talking to several other girls is bad by the way...im just guessing (as a female) what she may be thinking
Author IamIam Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 (edited) I was just talking with a few. I made it clear to her it's just talking. I'm not gonna lie to her. I told her I don't know what she wants from me. And obviously she doesn't know what she wants either. She knows I'm not a player and I told her I'm looking for something real not just some sex and game playing. She mentions other guys hitting on her or having a crush on her to me and that makes me mad but we're not officially together so why get angry about it. So she can say that but I can't say I'm talking to other girls because I don't know what she wants. That's absurd. I've told her she is the one I really want and maybe that is why she is gonna play this waiting game with me. She said she can't give what I want right now because of some child custody issues going on with her ex. Edited February 22, 2010 by IamIam
meerkat stew Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 She mentions other guys hitting on her or having a crush on her to me and that makes me mad but we're not officially together so why get angry about it. So she can say that but I can't say I'm talking to other girls because I don't know what she wants. That's absurd. Yep, absurd. Just next these types when you run across them. She almost certainly has other problems in addition to this bad attitude. Guarantee you she is "talking" to other men herself.
Silver_star Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I dunno OP. Not sure, and I dont think anyone can really give you more insight then her . Why dont you try asking her why she would send out mixed signals like that? Why dont you ask her if she is really interested in you or just playing games, or ask if she is just pissed off because you said you were trying to "talk" to other girls, and if so maybe its because she wants a relationship and is now tryin to make you jealous and seem like shes a "hot commodity" by telling you other guys are chasing her. Simple concept. Just ask her. If she doesnt have a straight answer (then its probably the playing games option, and I dont know if you are into that or not, but its a time waster for sure).
D-Lish Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Honestly OP, there is nothing wrong with multi-dating, or multi-chatting in your case. This girl doesn't really have a right to ask at this early stage. When I first meet someone, I wouldn't even think to ask him if he is dating, chatting, or even sleeping with women. It's not my business so early on. Just the fact that she asked you such a question and got upset by it shows her immaturity. I expect that when I start talking to a single guy that he is most likely talking to others- even dating others. It's simply not her business at this point.
Silver_star Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Honestly OP, there is nothing wrong with multi-dating, or multi-chatting in your case. This girl doesn't really have a right to ask at this early stage. When I first meet someone, I wouldn't even think to ask him if he is dating, chatting, or even sleeping with women. It's not my business so early on. Just the fact that she asked you such a question and got upset by it shows her immaturity. I expect that when I start talking to a single guy that he is most likely talking to others- even dating others. It's simply not her business at this point. I dont see why she cant ask. I think she has a rght to ask whatever she feels like if shes interested. If i was interested I would want to know. Getting upset about it if he does chat with other girls is another story, but i think that there is alot of grey matter that is not being addressed. Her personal situation, and the circumstances which they met, and past relationships etc. not wanting to get into that anyways...but my point is. You cant really say this girl is out of line for asking a question to a potential partner, and her reaction is what the thread is about...why is she upset? Who knows. I say ask her, and take into account your feelings for her as well.
D-Lish Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I dont see why she cant ask. I think she has a rght to ask whatever she feels like if shes interested. If i was interested I would want to know. Getting upset about it if he does chat with other girls is another story, but i think that there is alot of grey matter that is not being addressed. Her personal situation, and the circumstances which they met, and past relationships etc. not wanting to get into that anyways...but my point is. You cant really say this girl is out of line for asking a question to a potential partner, and her reaction is what the thread is about...why is she upset? Who knows. I say ask her, and take into account your feelings for her as well. What's the motivation for asking? They are just chatting- not even dating. Only a person that is prone to jealousy and insecurity would ask a question like this when just starting to chat - and that's a crazy-ass red flag. Maybe there is more to his story with this girl, but he stated they have just begun chatting. He doesn't owe her anything, and her response is just plain nuts.
Silver_star Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 What's the motivation for asking? They are just chatting- not even dating. Only a person that is prone to jealousy and insecurity would ask a question like this when just starting to chat - and that's a crazy-ass red flag. Maybe there is more to his story with this girl, but he stated they have just begun chatting. He doesn't owe her anything, and her response is just plain nuts. He also stated he was interested in this girl which says to me the chat was one of getting to know the other person better. I think she has the right to do the same and get to know him better. She has the right to ask, and he has the right to either answer honestly, be dishonest or not say anything at all. But there is nothing weird about asking. I would ask if I was interested. Why play games...if im curious about someting I will ask. .
Author IamIam Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 Aaaaargh. This is eating at me now. I want to ask her why she would think that way being mad I'm talking to other girls but doesn't know what she wants. I want to ask but I know it probably won't go over well. damnit.lol.
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