td0g03 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 So, pretty much my ex and I broke up two weeks ago. There was a event coming up and I had asked a month in advance to go. We fought over it because she refused to ever let me do anything with my friends or go out. The last event I brought her to she made me pay for tickets, and pretty much offer nothing to help me pay for it. And after the event, she complained and nagged me for weeks that she shouldn't have gone. So, I learned this time around not to even invite her. The event was on V-day feb 14, but it was at 8pm and ended at 4am (into the 15th) I had planned dinner the day before v-day and had sent her flowers. She canceled on the dinner (for pretty much a bad reason) and threw out the flowers after we had a fight. (I broke it up because we refused to let me go to the event with my friends). I was pretty annoyed that she canceled dinner plans AGAIN (not the first time...) My ex talked smacked and said all kinds of stuff to her friends and to random people, but when I mention to anything to my friends she gets all mad and angry. Makes zero sense. I have come to realize she may be have a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Any time I would mess up in the relationship she would hold it against me, be harsh, can't talk to me about any of my problems, the world revolves around her. For the last two years we dated she did absolutely nothing. I can literally ask her what have you done for me? And she will only say, "I can gave you time."I noticed that anytime I had messed up in the relationship all she would do it just hold it again my for days, weeks, and even from the beginning of the relationship. (in the beginning I pushed her and she felt down, she said it was abuse, maybe, but I didn't want her in my house and she refused to leave. I covered her mouth one time because my Dad was sleeping (He was fighting cancer and came out of radiation) and I wanted her to stop screaming. She always used this against me. My question is how should I go about this, I'm just so god damn angry that she compares me to other people, tells me I'm a bad boyfriend, and all kinds of awful things. She says she deserve better all the time. It's really gotten to the point where I'm frustrated. The last time I complained she didn't do anything, she said, "If you truly loved me, you wouldn't expect anything back." Should I even bother? I realized that she's really extremely self-fish and refuse to ever be udnerstanding. I think I answered my own question. I should just leave.
Author td0g03 Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 I also wanted to mention this just small portion of the whole relationship... I dont' want to explain it all. it's just too many problems
Sadbutrelieved Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 My advice would be to run and never look back. No contact, no nothing. She's the ex for a reason.
LostInLimbo Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I wouldn't bother, is it worth it? do you want this mess back? have you concidered the source? and is all what she says true? (if you answer no to the last question) Then Let It Go!, why care and worry yourself silly, she isn't. Its easier to talk about ppl when the victim is not around to defend themselves..... LiL
DustySaltus Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 When you deal with someone like this your involvement in the relationship is based solely on what YOU can do for HER. Not what she could do for you or what you can do for each other. If you really believe she has NPD there is NOTHING you can do to change it. She needs to realize it and get help on her own. Any suggestion by you that she needs help will probably make her furious because she doesn't want the finger pointed at herself. When you continue to deal with someone like this you will realize that you need to bring 100% to the table EVERY SINGLE DAY and if you don't prepare to be ridiculed and scrutinized for it. Use that energy for something else....to be yourself.
Author td0g03 Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 You guys are right. She always compared me and told me what other guys can do for her. And what I can't. I guess I should just start NC. I guess I don't owe her any favors anymore. I won't run around talking smack,i'll just do me. I started to gym and go out and meet new people. I should of never send her a message.
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