DudeMan27 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 And yet another thread about an ex's birthday comming up. I've been dreading this day for so long and I have no clue why. It just makes me sad. We have been friendly since last summer, no ill will at all. I was to blame for the breakup, too many mistakes. But I don't think I'm going to say anything to her. We were in contact as recently as last week, my computer has been emailing spam automatically to people in my address book and she's one of them. She replied to it and we had a few joking emails. But for some reason, I just don't think I'm going to text her today. On one hand I feel awful, my birthday last June she was the first one to say anything, with a text at 8am. I just know she's getting 1,000 bday wishes from everyone today, and my text will just be one of the gang. I woke up on facebook today and see all the bday wishes (i hide her and her friends info, but I can see when some of our mutual friends are wishing her a great day) and it just breaks my heart I can't be there with her like I was the past 2 years. I can picture her smiling and being treated like a queen, being taken to have fun in the big city by her friends, family, and probably boyfriend. And her I am, alone, jobless, and miserable. Just needed to vent. Thanks everyone for the wonderful advice. This forum has kept me as sane as I possibly could be for the past, wow, year.
Ronni_W Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Hugs Dude. If you're going to feel-be okay tomorrow, not having "happy birthday'd" her today...then that's perfectly fine. Don't do it. As long as you won't regret not doing it. As long as you won't feel "bad" tomorrow for not having done it today.
DustySaltus Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I've read your older posts and I know Ronni has been helping you a long the way (like she helped me at one point ) but I'm just going to put in my two cents. Birthday's are tough. I remember back in October it was my birthday and my ex's birthday was the day after mine. We were engaged at one point and had spoken for the last time a few weeks before that. I though that maybe I would get something on my birthday and I got nothing. The next day I didn't send anything as well. It hurt like hell but there were a lot of reasons why we had broken up. This girl left you at one of the lowest points in your life. Strong relationships are not tested when things are going well. They are tested when you are working 50 hours a week, bills are due, the kids are sick and your partner looks at you as you are looking at them and says "Everything is going to be fine". Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows and a lot of people out there don't know how to deal with things when the storms come. You want to find someone that will stay in the trenches with you when the war is raging....not RUN away. She chose to end things for her OWN needs. I didn't do NC off the bat with my EX, I let it drag on for about 4 months including one reconciliation attempt. It set back my healing process. By wishing her a happy birthday you are showing her that you are still fresh in mind. Not saying anything would have a much greater effect on her anyway because she would see that you're distancing yourself further. Stop beating yourself up. You did nothing wrong. Use this time to get yourself together and figure out your next move. There was ABSOLUTELY a reason to why things occured I promise you that. Keep your head up. DS
Ronni_W Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Oopsie! Maybe I didn't make myself clear (Hi and thanks Dusty, for pointing that out.) Dude, I did not mean to imply that you "should" regret it or feel bad if you don't 'happy b/day' her. Most certainly not! More...just do whatever you can most comfortably live with after today is done. That is, *IF* you're just gonna end up beating-up on yourself for not doing it then it would, IMO, make more sense to just do it -- not for her but so that YOU don't end up wanting to beat-up on your self any further. Er. If that makes sense? Whatever you do, just do it for your Self and with your own best interests in mind and heart.
paleblue Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 yaa screw it! whats it going to hurt if you dont. like you said yours will get lost in the crowd anyway. and that is not what you want.
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