SilkRose Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 That's my ex, he's working abroad, coming back in a few months and he wants to see me. I am celibate at the moment, and I'm not going to change that for him or anyone but after that... Has anyone ever had this kind of ex boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse? How do you resist temptation? When you love them for who they are, find them very very very attractive but you know that they will hurt you/let you down if you try to be with them again - what do you do? Or what have you done. Advice is welcome.
Author SilkRose Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 (edited) My answer is, Just resist. Don't do something you know will cause you pain and hurt. So I won't. lol. I really took some time to think about the whole situation. I know that I deserve to be treated well and with total respect, and that I should treat whoever I am with in this way too. My ex can't and won't give me that. So case closed. I just have to take care of myself and move on in a positive way. Not easy but necessary. Is not easy but developing some self esteem makes it a whole lot easier. Good luck to anyone facing this dilemma, feel free to chat, give advice or ask questions. Edited February 23, 2010 by SilkRose Spelling error.
kickintheaz Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 you should change that title for your own benefit!!! if he is your heartbreaker, then he is clearly NOT intelligent! and in no way shape or form is a heartbreaker "Attractive"..... but you're realising that, you DO deserve better!.. now, the challenge is to go find it, but find it you will!!!
Author SilkRose Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 you should change that title for your own benefit!!! if he is your heartbreaker, then he is clearly NOT intelligent! and in no way shape or form is a heartbreaker "Attractive"..... but you're realising that, you DO deserve better!.. now, the challenge is to go find it, but find it you will!!! That is so true! You have presented me with a fresh perspective. Thanks!
sean1970 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 In love with an intelligent/attractive/heartbreaker. How do I resist? Don't... I won't break your heart....
threebyfate Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Intelligence and attractiveness, aren't the only traits that matter. Why and how did he break your heart?
Author SilkRose Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 Don't... I won't break your heart.... Lol!
GrayClouds Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 As humans we can not control our feelings but what makes us human is we can choose the behavior to those feelings.
carhill Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 what do you do? What I did was learn why I let attractiveness overrule my own self-respect and self-worth. I did that in MC and then applied it in the real world. It's kind of like rearranging priorities. BTW, your post (researching the backstory) caused me to read your 'sex without emotion for women' thread again. Thanks
Author SilkRose Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 As humans we can not control our feelings but what makes us human is we can choose the behavior to those feelings. You are so right. I have realised that I have to have more faith in myself, I no how to say "no" to guys, and even though I have loved him deeply, he's not the right person for me.
Author SilkRose Posted February 24, 2010 Author Posted February 24, 2010 (edited) What I did was learn why I let attractiveness overrule my own self-respect and self-worth. I did that in MC and then applied it in the real world. It's kind of like rearranging priorities. BTW, your post (researching the backstory) caused me to read your 'sex without emotion for women' thread again. Thanks That's what I've spent time figuring out. No sex is worth feeling like that. Yeah am glad I posted the 'Sex Without Emotions thread', people had some v interesting things to say. I think that whatever I do post-celibacy will be for positive reasons, not just so that I can protect myself from emotional pain. Oh and What's 'MC', I don't know all the board vocab yet. Thanks! Edited February 24, 2010 by SilkRose Incomplete
carhill Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 MC = marriage counseling. I'm going through a divorce.
Author SilkRose Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 MC = marriage counseling. I'm going through a divorce. Sorry to hear that. I can't even imagine what that is like. All the best.
carhill Posted February 26, 2010 Posted February 26, 2010 Thanks. It'll be final in a couple of months. Part of life's path. MC really helped
Author SilkRose Posted March 23, 2010 Author Posted March 23, 2010 Thanks for your comments guys. I am so much stronger now, I didn't realise that I was suffering from low self-esteem, now that I'm starting to build it up I feel so much better, I know what I should do if/when he starts trying to charm me into bed. I just have to have more confidence and faith in myself. It's not easy but I'm really trying to help myself. Thanks again everyone!
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