That_girl Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I want to call/email/ text SOMETHING!! This NC stuff is killing me, I was his girlfriend for three years and now he acts as though I'm dead. I just need to talk to him. Help!
Gcm Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I want to call/email/ text SOMETHING!! This NC stuff is killing me, I was his girlfriend for three years and now he acts as though I'm dead. I just need to talk to him. Help! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t117844/ I'm going to assume that HE called it quits. That said, as much as it's killing you, don't contact him. Look at all the people on this board who are going through the same thing. You're not alone in this. What could you benefit from calling him? He's made no contact with you, I think his intentions are obvious unless he's waiting for you to contact him. Seriously though, you know your relationship better than anyone else. Your heart may be singing one tune, but what's your head telling you? Is it telling you that he's over you and that you should move on? More than likely. Don't make yourself look desperate and vulnerable. You're going through a hard patch and in time, it will get easier for you. When you've completely moved on and you're in a happy relationship, you'll more than likely look back at this one and laugh about it. All the best.
counterman Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Yep, a lot of others are going through the same thing and I think some have started a "No Contact buddy" thing where they keep each other company in any way possible to stop each other from contacting their ex. What I found very useful was posting on here, LS, instead of actually contacting my ex. If you feel the urge to contact your ex, hold it long enough to post on here and get a reply and take it from there. We will all be saying the same thing and that is NC. Do whatever you can to keep yourself preoccupied as well. This means exercising, TV, movies, listening to music, hanging with friends and family, reading a book and etc. Remove all contact details of your ex i.e. phone numbers, emails, home address. You will probably remember them but not having them more convenient could probably mean the difference between you contacting him and getting hurt or stopping yourself from doing so. Lastly, I'll share my experience with you. I have called my ex, left text messages and emailed her soon after our break-up. And, what I got out from it? More pain. We argued. She eventually stopped contacting and I did too. It's been a while since I last contacted her or seen her. It is tough, believe me I know but you have to stay strong and know that you have a lot of support here. Read these guides and reread them again if you feel the urge to contact you ex: The No Contact Guide So you want a second chance? It won't be easy but it'll make it easier. Be kind to yourself and take care!
Author That_girl Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 Thanks so much guys, I know that you're both so right. I have everything to lose by contacting. It just hurts as everyone here already knows. Even though some of us probably don't even want our exes back, it kills knowing that someone who actually did love you not long ago...can just forget you so quickly. This guy loved me, I know that. Maybe doesn't anymore, but he DID. Maybe I feel so anxious because my last words to him were "I hope you die and rot in f**king hell." Perhaps he's even more apprehensive about speaking to me even more now because I freaked out like that. But I had a reason. He gave me no answers, just a slammed door in my face. I feel guilty, and like I should be the bigger person. I really am sorry for all of the things I did in this relationship....but I am so PISSED off that he feels no remorse at all.
counterman Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 It does hurt a lot. It hurts when an ex says he/she loves you and then soon after turns a 180 and says the opposite. In saying that, it is something we all can learn from. Those who love will show by actions and not words. He isn't speaking to you because he wants to move on. He might be scared, apprehensive, maybe angry but it doesn't matter. You have to worry about yourself. Those last words are said and done. There's nothing you can do to change it. You might feel guilty now but understand your response was only a natural reaction to what he didn't tell you, for him not giving any answers and breaking it off. Don't beat yourself up over it. Our emotions are rarely in check after a break-up, so after things have been said and done, just move on and learn from the experience. As for you being sorry for the some of things in the relationship, that's good that you recognise your responsibility in the relationship. You can take heart that you will come out a better person from this. As for him feeling remorse, he has to recognise it himself, and understand what went wrong and how he can learn from you. How he feels should not matter to you. It is his loss if he chooses to ignore his own mistakes and, hence, not learn from it. If he doesn't feel a thing from it, then that's all the more reason to just let it go and not contact him. My ex-girlfriend dropped me like a cold-hearted lady after making me wait a little while with no contact. It was awful and I doubt she even felt guilt or sadness from doing what she has done. In any case, it didn't matter to me. I was feeling pain and, as much as I want her to feel what I felt, I knew that it wouldn't have made me feel any better. Focus on yourself and feel free to say whatever you want to say on here. Focus on yourself
breakbeat Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 There are wonderful people here who can help you get through this.. If you feel the urge to contact him , do it here.. you'll feel a lot better , believe me. Try some sports, read books, ... I suggest you seek for a NC buddy as well » http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t222229/ You can add me in MSN if you want (but I'm still not sure if I'm allowed to give my MSN addy here..), I'll be glad to have a chat with you. Take care girl , you'll get through it .. we are here to help and support you
Author That_girl Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 brreakbeat, I would love to add to you msn. I could really use someone to talk to. I think my friends are starting to get fed up with listening to me. Thanks to everyone else. This site has definitely helped me in the past. I used to be in an abusive relationship, and I followed everyone's advice here and was able to come out of it. I only hope that I can come out of it this time. It's not as easy because this time I have been dumped, trashed, and discarded. This has never happened to me before. I'm still young and this is first time I ever really loved the guy. It's hard not to hope that he still thinks of me, and maybe even regrets the way he treated me.
skydiveaddict Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 brreakbeat, I would love to add to you msn. I could really use someone to talk to. I think my friends are starting to get fed up with listening to me. Thanks to everyone else. This site has definitely helped me in the past. I used to be in an abusive relationship, and I followed everyone's advice here and was able to come out of it. I only hope that I can come out of it this time. It's not as easy because this time I have been dumped, trashed, and discarded. This has never happened to me before. I'm still young and this is first time I ever really loved the guy. It's hard not to hope that he still thinks of me, and maybe even regrets the way he treated me. Someone better will come along trust me. You dont want this guy anyway. Hell he probably never even took you skydiving
Meaplus3 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I want to call/email/ text SOMETHING!! This NC stuff is killing me, I was his girlfriend for three years and now he acts as though I'm dead. I just need to talk to him. Help! I have been where you are and I know how you feel. So, I'll tell you this. DO NOT break NC. I know it's tough right now, but by keeping it up your moving forward in the right direction. This can be done. All you need is a little distraction and also to vent about your feelings like your doing here. Really, do hang in there and stay strong. I'm rooting for ya! Mea:)
duece22022 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 He sounds like an ass-hole. He is waiting for you to call him. He thinks you will break. but you have to remember, he broke up with you that means he doesn't want you right now. you have to understand that and accept it. go NC, Make him wonder. Let him think you are doing fine without him. I know you are feeling many different emotions and they constantly keep changing. U have to just cool off right now. We all know how much it sucks. listen to everyone on this site and GO NC.
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