BW007 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Well, haven't written in a while...I am a little worried about myself that I still give a damn about all of this. My sense of betrayal is through the roof. Two recent stressors came up because 1. I saw her a couple weeks ago across the street from my usual cafe and 2. She had her kid this week from getting knocked up by her cheatin partner a month after we broke up. Mea Culpa, I think mentioned in an older thread of mine, that I must be getting something out of the continued suffering...I have analyzed that A LOT and I can't figure anything good I am getting. I think a large part of the problem is that I don't know how I am going to find someone I liked as much as her in good times...And I know, I know, she turned into poison for me, my cofidence and trust in people and happiness, but honest to god she was one of the important ones to me and it still hurts so bad that we spun out of each others orbit. It is accepted, but OUCH, I would fix everything if it was in my power. I can't tell anyone, for real, how darned HEARTBROKEN I am.. Why? Because it is boring..even to me, but the depth of how much this crushed me is really scary and yes, embarrassing. I am at an age (44) where it is really really difficult, like never before, to meet someone great and in my ballpark. Bars suck. I am a little too old for that crap and I can't survive the hangovers like I used to..Part of the problem, I suppose, is that in the relationship with the ex , I suppose I settled down or something, when my current situation calls for more outgoing and yep, a bit rowdier behavior or something. I am a little adrift with the dating reset button, and I certainly don't want to get into the wrong relationship or mess up one because of my recently acquired baggage.
mickleb Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Hi BW. Sorry to hear you're still suffering like this. Can you remind me if you've spoken to a counsellor about your break-up? Your comment about not being able to talk to anyone 'for real' does raise questions that go beyond simple 'boredom', I would say. And please don't think you need to be 'rowdier' just because you're 44 and not an ageing lothario, or something similarly hideous. Yes, your confidence has clearly taken a knock. You'll be needing to find it again but then you can join some clubs that take your fancy and start swinging your mojo around at all the like-minded females you encounter. (Try www.meetup.com out for size.) Can you fill me in on what you've been doing to get back on your feet since all this blew up in your face, my love? x
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