pandagirl Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I know for sure I am capable of loving someone. That part comes pretty easily to me, because it's easy for me to start caring about someone. However, the "in love" part, I haven't quite gotten a grasp on. I have *felt* in love before, but even as it was happening, I was very practical about it and told myself, "it's just chemicals." I have only felt these intense feelings of infatuation and euphoria twice in myself, and both turned out to be unhealthy relationships. As a whole, my demeanor doesn't lend itself to get excited about ANYTHING. I'm not an excitable person. At all. I don't get giddy. I'm not bubbly. At my 30th surprise bday party, I simply waved when people yelled, SURPRISE! I don't show a lot of emotion, though I'm very sensitive and I do feel things deeply. My boyfriend of 2-3 months fall hard for me. He says he is in love with me. I tell him I love him, which I do, but I'm not feeling "in love." For me, I work opposite from most people: I have to build trust and stability (the love part) to let myself "go" and feel IN love. Does anyone else work this way?
threebyfate Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Here are a couple of quotes about love, that I like: Love is the greatest refreshment in life. - Picasso Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs - Shakespeare I can't explain this "in love" feeling, beyond the enrichment of life, feeling like you're home with your loved one, feeling tenderness, compassion, passion, happiness, joy, contentment and more, when you're with them. Of course you still sometimes feel cranky with them too. But yes, I think that's what might be the missing elements in your relationship, before you get to the "in love" part. Trust and stability. IMO, without trust, there can't be real love.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 What does being "in love" even mean? Probably: "... vulnerable past a certain point WITH a partner who at the same time is vulnerable past a certain point"
The Paper Knight Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 (edited) Does anyone else work this way? No. Being in love is when our need for somebody surmounts our need for warmth and unlike the memory of being burnt by fire keeps us away from the flame, our memory of being in love only draws us closer to the realization that fire is eternal and love is not. Edited February 22, 2010 by The Paper Knight
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