richardcruz Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 So I am just recently out of a relationship. Sex with my former Ex was okay. I was somewhat attracted to her but definitely not as much as I had been with other ExGFs. Anyways, just a little more background info; I have been on a therapeutic dose of an SSRI (anti-depression) for the last three years. For the last 4 months, I have been attempting to wean myself off of the meds because it has ruined my performance. This however is a process that involves time. I am at half of the original dose now. Basically it makes it kind of difficult to maintain a full erection and pretty tough to come. My return to the dating scene worries me because this means sex with condoms (EXGF was on the patch). This is bad for 2 reasons; 1) I need the extra feeling because of my reduced stimulation and 2) going flaccid means getting another condom, thus disturbing intercourse. My EXGF was really understanding about it and worked through it with me. But this girl (dare I say)"loved" me so she was into the whole package. Anyways, as you can imagine that this has done a real number to my self-esteem. My drive is there, but I physically can't give it my all. There has been a recent discovery called post-syndrome with SSRIs where many that were previously on this type of anti-dep state that their ability to perform has not returned, even a year later after stopping the medication. I'm not going into dating with the mindset to score, but I do want to go in with the confidence that I am ready for anything that could happen. This whole problem has made me feel like complete s#*t and makes me feel like not meeting anyone. I used to have no problems in bed and know I have to worry about something that I never thought could happen to me. It's really embarrassing and I just don't now what to do. I'm 30 for god sakes, not 60. Reading these posts just reaffirms that everyone is looking for spectacular sex (and with good reason) and I am far from it. How do I date with this on my mind? What should I do? How would you deal with meeting someone with a problem similar to mine? Thanks for your time.
Kristine Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Honestly I deal with it with compassion if I were someone who cared about you. I'm 35, my ex boyfriend if you can even call him that was placid as well due to diabetes and it didn't stop my love for him although sexually he really was inhibited and part of me is grateful he broke up with me even though it's been tough. I felt he wasn't attracted to me, for example and that may or may not have been part of it.
bac Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 You might have performance anxiety as well. IMO Delayed ejaculation or no ejaculation are great features by the way. Ed is not so good. You may try viagra, rings, change your medication, not masturbating for 2 wks or more before intercourse, turn yourself on before intercourse by porno. For performance anxiety, build some rapport and connection with a girl before you start having sex. Perhaps, you might try to have first sex on 10th date or so. Let her know that you take medications.
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