ecko280 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Im 25 and my ex is 26. My girlfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. She was my first true love. When she broke up with me, I felt such a pain in my heart and I could not sleep or eat for weeks. To me, that tells me how much I really did love her because that’s the first time in my life I ever felt like that. However, it is over and I am dating other girls, but I just can’t stop thinking about my ex and comparing the girls I am dating to my ex. Yes, I am not over my ex but I do want to go out and have fun and spend time with other girls. What can I do to stop comparing or what have you guys done to move on and date others without comparing them to your ex? Thanks
skydiveaddict Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 What can I do to stop comparing or what have you guys done to move on and date others without comparing them to your ex? Thanks There's nothing you can do. It takes time to heal. That's the whole story.
Author ecko280 Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 There's nothing you can do. It takes time to heal. That's the whole story. Thanks, i was afraid of that answer. Its so hard. I feel like i am cheating on my ex because i still love her, but i dont want to just stay home and wait to get over her. Thanks again.
The Paper Knight Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 However, it is over and I am dating other girls, but I just can’t stop thinking about my ex and comparing the girls I am dating to my ex. Yes, I am not over my ex but I do want to go out and have fun and spend time with other girls. What can I do to stop comparing or what have you guys done to move on and date others without comparing them to your ex? Thanks If you are still thinking about her while you are with other girls, then you are still healing. Take your time and don't rush into another relationship. We are always comparing consciously or not, this is only occurring explicitly because she is at the front of your thoughts. It fades over time along with your hurt.
EricaH329 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 It's not a matter of how you are going to date others, it's when you'll be able to date others. You cannot date a person when your feelings are with another. Period. It's literally impossible to become emotionally attached (in a true, honest way) when you are not over your ex. You can still go out and have fun with girls. Befriend them. Enjoy their company. But my advice to you, would be to not date until you feel 100% ready. You are not only setting yourself up for disaster, but you are setting another person up for heartache.
Author ecko280 Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 If you are still thinking about her while you are with other girls, then you are still healing. Take your time and don't rush into another relationship. We are always comparing consciously or not, this is only occurring explicitly because she is at the front of your thoughts. It fades over time along with your hurt. Thanks for you input. I am no way rushing into a relationship. I am just trying to get my mind of my ex by dating/talking to other girls. Its hard becasue everytime i talk to different girls i am compering how me and my ex meet. It was just sparks flying and we both just fell in love for each other at the time. i guess i am trying to look for the same spark with someone new which is not fair for the other person. what you guys think?
skydiveaddict Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 It's not a matter of how you are going to date others, it's when you'll be able to date others. You cannot date a person when your feelings are with another. Period. It's literally impossible to become emotionally attached (in a true, honest way) when you are not over your ex. You can still go out and have fun with girls. Befriend them. Enjoy their company. But my advice to you, would be to not date until you feel 100% ready. You are not only setting yourself up for disaster, but you are setting another person up for heartache. soooo true.
Author ecko280 Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 It's not a matter of how you are going to date others, it's when you'll be able to date others. You cannot date a person when your feelings are with another. Period. It's literally impossible to become emotionally attached (in a true, honest way) when you are not over your ex. You can still go out and have fun with girls. Befriend them. Enjoy their company. But my advice to you, would be to not date until you feel 100% ready. You are not only setting yourself up for disaster, but you are setting another person up for heartache. Thanks for your input. it helps a lot.
pureinheart Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 If you are still thinking about her while you are with other girls, then you are still healing. Take your time and don't rush into another relationship. We are always comparing consciously or not, this is only occurring explicitly because she is at the front of your thoughts. It fades over time along with your hurt. It's not a matter of how you are going to date others, it's when you'll be able to date others. You cannot date a person when your feelings are with another. Period. It's literally impossible to become emotionally attached (in a true, honest way) when you are not over your ex. You can still go out and have fun with girls. Befriend them. Enjoy their company. But my advice to you, would be to not date until you feel 100% ready. You are not only setting yourself up for disaster, but you are setting another person up for heartache. What they said.....
The Paper Knight Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Its hard becasue everytime i talk to different girls i am compering how me and my ex meet. It was just sparks flying and we both just fell in love for each other at the time. i guess i am trying to look for the same spark with someone new which is not fair for the other person. what you guys think? Shooting stars burnout quickly. That initial giddy feeling is usually lust, dig deeper next time and get to know your partner better before getting serious.
confused_pjl Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Hey Ecko280. I feel the same as you. My girlfriend and I have been broken up for just over a month. I had a girl approach me and have been on a couple of dates with her. I still love my EX as well and find it hard not to think of her or compare her to this new girl I'm dating. I know I am dating her for the wrong reasons, I don't want to jump into another relationship right away, but I feel I need to date to help me move on. I'm at the point now where I need to make a decision as to wether I continue to date this girl and most likely end up breaking her heart or stop dating her and focus more on healing myself and waiting until I'm ready. I know where your coming from, trust me. Part of me feels like I'm only dating this girl because I know my EX is already dating/sleeping with someone else, so why shouldn't I. I know that is definitely the wrong reason for me to do this. This Sucks!
Author ecko280 Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 Hey Ecko280. I feel the same as you. My girlfriend and I have been broken up for just over a month. I had a girl approach me and have been on a couple of dates with her. I still love my EX as well and find it hard not to think of her or compare her to this new girl I'm dating. I know I am dating her for the wrong reasons, I don't want to jump into another relationship right away, but I feel I need to date to help me move on. I'm at the point now where I need to make a decision as to wether I continue to date this girl and most likely end up breaking her heart or stop dating her and focus more on healing myself and waiting until I'm ready. I know where your coming from, trust me. Part of me feels like I'm only dating this girl because I know my EX is already dating/sleeping with someone else, so why shouldn't I. I know that is definitely the wrong reason for me to do this. This Sucks! Wow, that is the same position i am in. My ex told me that she is talking/dating someone 1 month after our breakup. I feel the same way also. If she is doing it, why shouldn't I. I just dont want to hurt theses girls. I guess i will continue talking/dating them and take it slow.
Sadbutrelieved Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I'm planning to wait for a while before I go on any real dates. I don't want to be out with someone else and thinking about my ex. No matter how crummy he was, he knew how to have fun. It's going to take a miracle to find someone who can outdo him in that area. Too bad the rest of his personality sucked.
Steelrain21 Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 Wow, that is the same position i am in. My ex told me that she is talking/dating someone 1 month after our breakup. I feel the same way also. If she is doing it, why shouldn't I. I just dont want to hurt theses girls. I guess i will continue talking/dating them and take it slow. So you're still in communication with your ex? If so, it will be harder to move on. I've had a couple off and on relationships in my life and one thing I learned from those situations is that most of the time it's better to cut contact completely when you're trying to move on. The more reminders you have of her the longer it will take to get over her. After you've had plenty of time to heal you can still always get back into touch with the ex if you wanted to try being friends for some reason.
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