DLM77 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I'm recently divorced and have interest in someone I work with. I was married 4 year and dated the person 12 year prior to getting married. My problem is being that I spent most of my life with this person, I feel I don't know how to flirt or attract the woman I'm interested in. I'm on special assignment on my current job and will only last 1 more month till I go back to regular assignment. So I don't have much time. I'm 32 and she's in her late 40's. I guess my hang up is that I was never in the dating scene and don't have experience in flirting or picking up woman. I'm also somewhat shy till I get to know someone. Any advice? Thanks
bac Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Flirt with her. Show her that you are interested. She will help you and take some initiative to pick you up, if she is into young guys. Many women in 40s are into young guys, so they would be happy to get involved with you.
Author DLM77 Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 Ok so after a little flirting with eachother i gave her my # last week and she called me the other day. It was shortly after we left work, she wanted to warn me about speeding in a certain area of town I wasn't familar with. This was the first phone call we had made to eachother and the strange thing about the call was she blocked her phone #. When I questioned the reason for it was simply "because". She said she was at the mall and was than heading to the gym, so I didn't question it further as she seemed busy so I said I would let her go.
2sunny Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 so she reached out and that would have been the perfect opportunity to ask her to dinner. when you see her next - ask her out. the direct approach with her is probably best and easiest. if she's not interested she'll say no and not give another option. if she's interested but busy - she'll suggest a different day or time.
Author DLM77 Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 so she reached out and that would have been the perfect opportunity to ask her to dinner. when you see her next - ask her out. the direct approach with her is probably best and easiest. if she's not interested she'll say no and not give another option. if she's interested but busy - she'll suggest a different day or time. Well like I said she seemed busy and I could tell she was at the mall with all the noise in the background. She seemed quick to get off the phone after giving me a warning about speeding, yada yada yada. You don't find it odd she blocked the call?
paleblue Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 if you have to date someone you work with which i highly suggest you reconsider, but if you cant help but to play with fire, just take it slow. i wouldnt be concerned, or ask her why she has her number blocked. its really none of your business at this point, and you shouldnt care. she has called you regardless. try not to get too personal. just keep it light and keep it fun above all else.
marsle85 Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 I find it odd she blocked your call. Not good-odd. She pre-meditated that action bud. This isn't a good sign. Continue to flirt, etc. But leave it at that. She if she attempts further communication.
Author DLM77 Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 if you have to date someone you work with which i highly suggest you reconsider, but if you cant help but to play with fire, just take it slow. i wouldnt be concerned, or ask her why she has her number blocked. its really none of your business at this point, and you shouldnt care. she has called you regardless. try not to get too personal. just keep it light and keep it fun above all else. Normally I would agree that dating someone you work with is a no no, but as I stated above I'm on temp assignment and don't see an issue with this as this is my last week. As for the blocked call, anyone I give my # out to and calls me with a blocked # I have every right to question why. We will keep it light for the meantime, however I did ask her to lunch on Wed. We'll see how it goes...
Fouts Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 I wouldn't worry about the blocked number, she's just being safe. You'll get her number soon enough if she wants you. That being said, no offense bro, but if you're 32 and she's in her late 40's, she should be chasing you, very aggressively. A good looking put together young man usually has older women eating out of their hands. I hope something develops, but if she's not after you, she's probably not that into you. Good luck.
marsle85 Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 I wouldn't worry about the blocked number, she's just being safe. You'll get her number soon enough if she wants you. That being said, no offense bro, but if you're 32 and she's in her late 40's, she should be chasing you, very aggressively. A good looking put together young man usually has older women eating out of their hands. I hope something develops, but if she's not after you, she's probably not that into you. Good luck. Yes, hopefully DLM77- this woman follows the desperate, lonely stereotype that Fouts described. If you're lucky! Please- with little else to work with, let's give the woman the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she isn't likely to jump on any prospect (32 or not). Maybe she takes things slow, and is fulfilled without the attention of a man.
marsle85 Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 I'm guessing you're not a man, marsle85? Was it my avatar or intelligence that seeped through the seams?
Fouts Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 If that's you in your avatar, then ya, you're a chick, and ya you have no idea what it's like for a man to be around older single women When a man is single, in his 30's and has alot going on for himself, I'm guessing it's as close to feeling like a hot woman in their mid 20's as we can ever get Lot's of opportunity from every age category and the older one's that are single want a young virile lad in the worst way. DLM doesn't need to be lucky, just hunky and a brain that works
Author DLM77 Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 Ok so my suspicions were correct. After being denied lunch for Wednesday she explained to me she couldn't in fear of being seen in public... because she is married. She didn't want me to know her # because in fear of me calling at the wrong time ect... I'm very disappointed in the turn of events, but I knew something was up with the block call. Needless to say I couldn't continue talking to her. She however made her feelings for me very clear and wants to continue txting /talking. She's clearly interested as i'm no longer interested. I'm glad she didnt wait to tell me this untill things progressed.
Author DLM77 Posted March 10, 2010 Author Posted March 10, 2010 (edited) Wow so the story gets very weird. After numerous txt messages from her today I'm really not sure what to make of all this? I originally met her last year. Shortly after I met her, she wrote my name down because something told her to do so. Fast forward to this year. Shortly before I arrived, she took a short leave to deal with the death of her father. From what I gather her father died of complications of a Horseshoe kidney. In the past month or so, she has seen signs of horseshoes in various ways describing them as signs. It would be impossible for me to retell the story she told me, so in a nutshell, she believes her father brought me into her life. Before she told me the story she starts off by saying, you're going to think i'm nuts. hahaha, ya think! Edited March 10, 2010 by DLM77
llm77 Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Knowing she is married, how could you persue a relationship? Have you no morals? How could you knowingly try to get into a relationship? Have you ever thought about the spouse? How would you feel if a man tried to persue a relationship with your ex wife while you were married? How could she feel that "her father brought you to her"? She's married???
St. Nick Posted March 27, 2010 Posted March 27, 2010 Knowing she is married, how could you persue a relationship? Have you no morals? How could you knowingly try to get into a relationship? Have you ever thought about the spouse? How would you feel if a man tried to persue a relationship with your ex wife while you were married? How could she feel that "her father brought you to her"? She's married??? Oh brother, read the post. He said he's no longer interested. She keeps texting him, however, and he doesn't know what to make of it. I'm very disappointed in the turn of events, but I knew something was up with the block call. Needless to say I couldn't continue talking to her. She however made her feelings for me very clear and wants to continue txting /talking. She's clearly interested as i'm no longer interested. I'm glad she didnt wait to tell me this untill things progressed.
spiderowl Posted March 28, 2010 Posted March 28, 2010 (edited) Oops, should have read all the replies before posting! It appears she's married and he's not interested now. For a start off, she's quite a bit older than you and is probably wondering what your interest is in her. Quite frankly, if I were her I'd be wondering if you were genuinely interested in me or assumed I was desperate as I was older. Some men seem to assume this and they are very wrong. As an older woman, I get lots of offers from men my own age, older and quite a few from younger men. With a younger man, I'd probably assume he was only interested in sex or just plain weird. That may be why she blocked her number; she can't believe you'd be genuinely interested in her as a person. Are you, or are you just interested in her because you think she can teach you how to pick up and please a woman again? I suspect she's confused and wondering if you really are interested or not. She rang to offer you some useful advice and also to see what kind of person you are in your private life. If you are genuinely interested in this woman for more than a fling, then carry on being friendly and encourage her to contact you. Say it would be a shame to lose touch with her when you leave. Make sure she has your contact details. You could even ask her out on a date, making it clear it is one. Otherwise, she may think you are just being unusually friendly. How is she supposed to know you are not just a young visitor who likes her as a friend? Edited March 28, 2010 by spiderowl
St. Nick Posted March 30, 2010 Posted March 30, 2010 Having sex with a married woman is jumping into dangerous territory. Even if you don't have any moral qualms about it, there is your life to think about. I've heard many stories about a husband coming home, catching his wife cheating, she yells "rape!", husband gets gun, the dude gets shot. Or sometimes the dude gets shot without her yelling rape. Getting shot is definitely one thing you have to worry about, even from the most mild-mannered dude. Married women suck at keeping infidelities secret. The husband must be real busy, just not care, or have his head in the clouds not to notice. They give off signs by acting distant or even antagonistic toward their husbands. They also might giggle when they read a steamy text, or they start talking on the phone with you when it's not safe to talk. Keep away, man. You've got nothing to gain. This chick is an old broad in her 40s? You're not missing anything. Older women suck in bed, and most have worn-out looking coochies. It's cool to have sex when they're single, but don't do it when they're married. Too much hassle and drama.
Recommended Posts