MM1969 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I've been dating a man for almost 2 years...we didnt see too much of each other in the beginning....he had purchased a "flip" house before we met, and all of his time was spent working on it. We talked on the phone incessantly, sometimes 4-5 hours a day, just getting to know each other. I was busy with my personal life, so his schedule worked with mine. I am a widowed single parent and work full time and own my own home. Whenever we could, we would see each other. But at most, it was usually once every 2-3 months. I spent holidays with my family, he spent holidays with his. He is also a single parent. First New Years Eve, we made plans, and he got sick and cancelled. First Valentine's Day, we made plans, and he stood me up, said something went wrong at the house and his phone was damaged so he couldnt call. This New year's Eve, made plans. He's "sick" again. Cancelled. Valentine's Day, he said he was on his way to my house, never showed, didnt hear from him for 3 days. He said, he felt a "disconnect" as he was getting ready to leave his house. Not just from me, but from everyone in his life. Friends and family. He doesnt know why, and he just kept saying, I dont know whats wrong with me. He told me it's over because it's not fair to me, not fair to ask me to keep holding on when things just keep going wrong and prevent us from being together every time we try. I am at a complete loss. He says he still cares for me very much and thinks about me all the time, that I never leave his mind. Ive held on for so long, believing in a future for us that we have discussed often and in great detail. And now Im left with no explanation, and knowing its nothing I did. I dont want to walk away and not support him thru this hard time for him. But how long am I supposed to wait for the "CHANCE" that things will change?? I thought that when you get older, youre wiser when it comes to relationships. You work things out together. How can I do that with him as a couple, if he wont let me? If I walk away, I may lose him forever. If I stay, I may wind up hurt even more, and lose myself in the process. Don't know what to do.
GrayClouds Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Let it go, he blowing you off over and over. Likely he has a few other irons in the fire so to speak. If he shows you this behavior in the beginning imagine how bad it will be when you really get to know each other.
Ilovecake Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Yeah unfortunately he's not as committed to this relationship as you are, no matter what the reason I think it's time to let him go. Don't listen to his words look at his actions. How did it feel when he didn't show up all those times? Are you willing to go through that over and over? I was in the same boat as you before and I kept forgiving him and things only got worse and he disappeared for longer and longer and then he just figured well since she's forgiven me for all those times I treated her like crap let's see how far I can take this. It got so bad I had a nervous breakdown because I was a nothing but a doormat for this guy.
dazzle22 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Something else is going on with this guy that he is not revealing to you. Perhaps he is seeing his ex/exes...whatever, doesn't matter, being stood up like this should be a dealbreaker. I would not tolerate this from friends either, in fact I kicked a long time friend to the curb who constantly was doing stuff like that - the last straw was us making a full dinner and they didn't show or call. OUT you go!
Recommended Posts