foreverlove06 Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months now, and usually do not get into fights--- Occasionally someone will get annoyed, but we talk it through and its fine... However, last night was a train wreck, and even though we eventually talked it over, I cant stop thinking about it. Earlier in the day we made plans to go out to his friends birthday, whom I have never met before. I kept asking if he just wanted to go by himself but he said no he wanted me to come... Okay, so all day I was thinking that was our plans for the night. I didnt care if I went or not since its not like I knew this particular friend... but I was invited and had no other plans. Right when we were about to leave, he calls me and says "All the girlfriends arent going now, so its just going to be guys. Do you still want to go or would you be uncomfortable?"... I couldnt tell if he wanted to just go by himself now, because he wouldnt tell me, but I got the sense that that was the case... SO i kept asking.. and eventually told him that if he would rather just go by himself then he should tell me.. So he said that he really did want to just go by himself but didnt know how to tell me. So I said "Ok, Have fun"--- Which was unintentionally bitchy of me, I guess... At that point I was annoyed at him, but I was ready to just let him go by himself. THEN he calls me and tells me that he talked to his friends and they really want to meet me--- So if I still wanted to go, I could... But i really didnt care if i went or not, I was just annoyed that all of a sudden the plans had changed... I ended up going, which was a bad idea, because the entire hour long car ride there, We were yelling at eachother and I was crying... I told him that you dont just cancel plans with me all of a sudden because the "girlfriends" werent going, and that because he wouldnt just be honest with me in the beginning about wanting to go by himself it made him look like he had other reasons for not wanting me to go. Of course because I was fuming at this point, I told him that he reminded me of my ex--- which was pretty much the worst thing I could say to him. He started yelling at me pretty bad, and said that he "treats me really ___ good and we see eachother all the ___ time and that its not wrong for him to want a guys night"....... Of course its not wrong!! I want him to have a guys nights, but not when the plans all day were for us to go together. He ditched me right when we were about to leave, and because he wasnt honest from the beginning about wanting to go by himself to see his friends (WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE!), I got pissed off... We talked about it for the most part last night... I told him he just needs to be more honest with me about what he wants... And we agreed that I do too. But today, I just keep thinking about him yelling at me and its really upsetting. Am I wrong to be upset?
Lindarose84 Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Nothing kills me more than people who flake on plans. Your situation is a modified flake but still a flake in plans nonetheless. If he told you that the two of you were going and that was your impression the entire dang day, he needs to stick to that. It sucks having to get dressed and ready under the assumption you're going somewhere only to have someone call and change plans. I absolutely hate that. It shows the person does not respect MY time. Anyhoo, in my opinion, you were right to be upset when he pulled that move and wouldn't be honest about what he wanted. Were you right to compare him to your ex to his face in the heat of an argument? No. That was a low blow and from your post, you know that. If you guys have already talked things over great, I would just leave it at that. He knows to be honest with you in the future about his intentions when it comes to making plans like that. I think you should let it go that he yelled at you. That part was deserved since you played the ex card. Anyone would go off like that.
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