Freezingcold Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Hello, I'm new to the forums and hope you understand... Let me start out, I asked her out and she said no, she also acted like she didn't want to be around me. Now let's dig into some history Three years ago, I moved to where I am now. We rode the same bus together, I remember like it was yesterday... I walked onto the bus showed the papers to the driver and sat down, she came up behind me asked me my name and made a joke.. She went and sat back down, two weeks later we had a delayed opening ( she is 3 years younger than I am ) There was only one seat open, that being right behind her, I sat down she talked to me made a couple jokes and mimiced everything I did... I said something she copied me, she teased me quite a bit but asked personal questions like " what is your favorite... " " have you ever... " I didn't think anything of it.. I did however make her feel not so good, there weren't many people on the bus, I said something that I shouldn't have about her ( remember this was three years ago ) and she heard it, I turned around and there she sat; quiet, sick and sad ( I could see it in here eyes ) I felt completely like an ass. She was sick, I'm sure she didn't feel well she picked on me I said something to my friends and I feel horrible. Let's move forward a year; I rode the bus the entire year, we spoke sometimes she made snide comments towards me but sometimes was very nice to me, I just didn't understand at the time. We didn't really have much interaction that year mainly because she sat way away and got off before me and got on before me we never really talked at all. Now a little about her; She's pretty popular, single and seems to be very compassionate she listens to a lot of breakup songs and just seems to be a very emotional person ( not unstable ). I've seen her cry on the bus, she is somewhat resentful of things that she has done wrong ( She got in trouble a lot on the bus ) and I think she is an all around good person. She is about 5'4" and thin, she has long straight hair that drop to her shoulders she has a beautiful inspiring smile and is very outspoken ( not afraid to speak her mind ) her hands are pretty small and she just stands there with such a welcoming stance. Not many people liked her on the bus but she has tons of friends and tons of guy friends. She is a cool person, in my opinion to be around. She has many flaws which I actually really like, that's what sets her apart from other people she has fears and flaws that make me like her more because it just shows she is not perfect and that she isn't all that. I asked her if she wanted to hang out and she denied it with a " nah, I have plans thanks anyways though " which I think basically means " shut up and go away and don't bother me " I know I'm shooting this way up into the air but it hurts... I never really thought much of her until I stopped riding the bus, I never really payed attention to my feelings until I saw her in the hallway the other day. I saw just a spoke of her face and my heart raced, my adrenaline pumped and I had this sinking feeling in my stomach... I knew I wanted her more than ever. Lately I've been thinking about her ( before I asked )... I remembered the time I spent on the bus with her.. The memories of her getting into arguments with other kids and the bus driver ( even though she is not a trouble maker ) and the memories of her laughing and having a good time.. and I really feel bad for ever saying those things thinking she wasn't there, if I could turn back time I would have changed, talked more with her and never had said those things.. Forum, it hurts to know that she said no, it hurts to know that I probably hurt her and made her feel terrible.. I've forgiven her for teasing me and I think that was just a thing at the time. I wish I could change for her, she is amazingly awesome such a happy and down to earth person and 3 years younger than I. I wish I could change. What do I do? how do I fix this and how do I get past this? I have found no other girl like her and liked no one this much until now. Now that I cannot have her it makes the feelings of regret and wish that i could change it worse. I cannot live my life like this, she seems to be the only thing that I have to live for as other people get on my nerves and annoy the heck out of me. Help me, I cannot bear this on my shoulders easily I cannot stand to know I was rejected by the only person for the last couple of months has made my day and has made a change in who I am. After seeing her I turned my life around, I changed my grades, I am making better choices and now what am I doing them for? Nothing? Help me, I know I sound like an idiot but it's the truth this is my entire life story this is who I am. help me, please!
McGrupp Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 After seeing her I turned my life around, I changed my grades, I am making better choices and now what am I doing them for? Nothing? dont change for a woman. change for yourself. she told you what was happening. your a rock star man, move on and find women that want to be with you
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