paddington bear Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 It ended due to my lover losing more and more interest. As in, being flaky, messing me around a bit and generally showing that his interest in me had waned. And me thinking that if even my lover doesn't want to see me, that I'd hit a low point. There is and was some emotional connection there, but I wasn't in love with him. His lowered interest and unfulfilled promises and me sitting in on my own rather a lot sparked off me realising that I wanted more than this lover situation, that I wanted a proper relationship (and even if things changed with him, unfortunately I can't go there with this man due to religious differences, I'd have to change my whole life to fit into his beliefs). So, after his latest taking for granted, flakiness, I had enough. He's not calling me, so I won't be available to him. I simply switched off my phone over a weekend, prompting a call from him on the Monday asking why, why, why I hadn't picked up that he'd called 20 times and me saying that since he hadn't bothered calling me when he said he would a week previously and since we hadn't seen each other for ages before that anyway, that I was pissed of being left waiting in for a stupid man who said he'd call me or see me, only for him not to call, not even to say 'sorry I can't make it'. He lied and said he'd to mind his kid and that he 'forgotten' to call. That was as far as I got, as he made a quick exit off the phone, before I got to the 'this is not working for me any more, I think you need a different kind of woman and me a different kind of man' part. He rang once more asking about something random and weird - I think to check my mood. After that I didn't call him back nor him me. A week or more went by and he called in the middle of the night. Knowing him, I think as a way of showing me he had called and hoping I'd see that and call him back. I didn't. That was a week or so ago. And yesterday suddenly he called 4 times in a row. Now...I was feeling guilty about how this ended, without me clarifying things to him and he lives in the same area. We are likely to bump into each other some day. He's not a bad person and when he did bother to see me he was good to me and is a gentle type of person. But I just couldn't face talking to him yesterday of dealing with a potentially angry man on the other end of the line. And I had thought I should phone him today to get some closure on this thing. But I haven't. A friend said the act of calling him showed interest, even if you're calling to say that you've no interest. And now I'm confused. If I call it might open up a whole can of worms, but it feels wrong to ignore the guy, like I'm being a total bitch. So, what do I do? Call him back to say 'I don't think we should see each other any more' or not call back and let actions speak louder than words? I really, really don't know what to do here. I'm afraid as well that if we do get back in touch that I might go back there just for some comfort and familiarity, but it's going nowhere and he wants a wife, and that girl ain't me (and I think he knows that too).
threebyfate Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 For the sake of your own peace of mind, call him to set things straight. What you said in your post, is a good way to start: this is not working for me any more, I think you need a different kind of woman and me a different kind of man. Round it out by saying that you're looking for a real relationship with someone who's consistent and that an FWB isn't enough for you.
Recommended Posts