Girlfriend had alter-ego modeling name that she won't tell me

[mani81]

Troll fabrication make for one exciting thread.....

 

Duh.

 

Unfortunately this stuff is true -__-

[meerkat stew]

Troll fabrication make for one exciting thread.....

 

Duh.

 

Curious to know what has you putting OP in troll land?

[Sharla]

Curious to know what has you putting OP in troll land?

 

It just sounds too contrived IMO.

 

I've also looked at the other threads the OP's posted.

 

Either way, seems there is too much doubt here already and at only four months in. Combined with the mistrust of her Facebook, play fighting and modeling, it really doesn't make for a solid foundation.

[prettybaby]

She was never a runway / Vogue model. Why is this even a question? The answer is very obvious: she lied. End of the story.

[donnamaybe]

Unfortunately this stuff is true -__-

 

She sounds like a pathalogical liar. Why are you still taking part in the game?

[LastSpartan]

Some girls do have male best friends, it usually puts their partners in a very uncomfortable positions. If they already slept together, there's probably a reason why they don't now, so you don't need to worry ;-) if they didn't, you better be cautious ;-)

 

As for the modelling story, the answer is obvious for me. She was always jealous about her sister's modelling, so when you first met, she made that story up to impress you. Your relationship became more serious and, as you're saying, she cares about you so I guess she might be worried about what would you do if you ever found out, especially if she is low on self esteem. She may be sharing this secret with her friend, which would be a perfect explenation of them hanging out close. Did you try talking to that best friend of hers? Tell him about all that story and how you feel, tell him that as long as she tells you the truth you don't care. Maybe he'll tell you something or help you get things sorted out

[michelleco]

Yeah. I like to give the benefit of the doubt, but your girl is lying. Probably didn't ever intend anything bad by it (not the worst lie in the world, after all), but she wanted attention and wanted a model's life and in her head, she created one.

 

Just doesn't add up. She gets angry with you for bringing it up because she doesn't want to be caught in her lie. She couldn't have looked THAT much different ('you wouldn't recognize me').

 

Sorry, chuck. Now you need to determine for yourself whether the lie (and continuation of the lie) is a deal-breaker...!

[VeveCakes]

I can think of a million reasons why this is an obvious lie, especially since I have spent many years in the modelling industry.

 

Models become models, why? For the recognition...why hide it?

 

I have NEVER met a model who wasn't MORE than eager to share their portfolio...

 

Models have model friends....who talk about modelling and pass pictures.

 

Ford is one of the most prestigious modelling aencies in the world, was she a supermodel?

 

She's so quick to tell you she was a model but won't prove it...a bit sketchy.

 

I don't think it's porn, because most people who do porn are amazingly open and wouldn't care one bit to show you all the pics.

 

This girl if FOS.

[mani81]

She sounds like a pathalogical liar. Why are you still taking part in the game?

 

Mmm... She seems to have a white lie problem. But accounting the things I like about her/the good in her she has been the best gf I've ever had. It seems, though, if there's ever a situation in which I may "judge" her she goes on the defensive and then comes the history revision/lies. More than her checking up on her exes or having a sexual past it's the lying that bothers me more than anything.

 

We haven't talked about the facebook stuff since it happened a couple weeks ago but we were watching a Tyra show about stalking exes on Facebook. Like a smartass I sarcastically said, "Oh look - it's you!" Then my gf said, "Oh. Well you know.. I forgot but I had gone to my exes page to see if he had any pics of you and me at the party." I just rolled my eyes and avoided any confrontation. (because history showed her going to his page on Jan 7th. The party was on Jan 15th. Then she went to his page on Jan 25th two times an hour or two apart. I guess the first time she went that day the pics weren't "up yet..." -___-

 

And why didn't she look at her other friends that were at that party for pics as well..? just weird. He updated his status on Jan 7 and 25th so I understand why she would have gone to his page that day if it showed up in her news feed. I might bring this nit-picky stuff up but don't know what good it'll do. She can't admit to lying and even created the "I was checking for pics" thing up in case I brought it up in the future...

[mani81]

I can think of a million reasons why this is an obvious lie, especially since I have spent many years in the modelling industry.

 

Models become models, why? For the recognition...why hide it?

 

I have NEVER met a model who wasn't MORE than eager to share their portfolio...

 

Models have model friends....who talk about modelling and pass pictures.

 

Ford is one of the most prestigious modelling aencies in the world, was she a supermodel?

 

She's so quick to tell you she was a model but won't prove it...a bit sketchy.

 

I don't think it's porn, because most people who do porn are amazingly open and wouldn't care one bit to show you all the pics.

 

This girl if FOS.

 

I'm 90% down that she made up the modeling stuff and I'll leave the 10% chance that it's some porn type stuff. If it was porno-ish I don't think she would have ever brought it up in the first place.

[donnamaybe]

She sounds like a very immature person. How can you EVEN find her behavior sexy? At all? All that lying - ICK!

 

And if she's lying about THIS many small things, she'll lie about the big things too.

[mani81]

She sounds like a very immature person. How can you EVEN find her behavior sexy? At all? All that lying - ICK!

 

And if she's lying about THIS many small things, she'll lie about the big things too.

 

I agree. Immature and insecure. But very sweet and lots of good things to like about her as well. The lying plays into her insecurity and fear of being judged.

 

I know. I'm torn over it all.

 

Here's a tiny example that I think shows insecurity: She comes home from a shift as a server. She made the most in sales that night. She says it leaked out that she was the sales leader and I guess most of her co-workers are jealous a-holes because they would kind of tell her snide remarks about doing so well. She's like, "I was feeling so down about it. Like 15 people were just saying jealous stuff. It just had me in a horrible mood all day." (I could see in her eyes that it really, really had bothered her) I'm like, "Ok.. Well that sucks but why care what jealous people say..?"

 

Then she says, "But a few managers came up to me and told me what a good job I did! It felt so good to know that those 3 people thought I did a good job. So then I was in a better mood at the end of the day... Don't you think that's cool? That those 3 people appreciate the work I did..?" (I'm thinking... uh... what a fragile psyche...)

[donnamaybe]

I agree. Immature and insecure. But very sweet and lots of good things to like about her as well. The lying plays into her insecurity and fear of being judged.

 

I know. I'm torn over it all.

 

Here's a tiny example that I think shows insecurity: She comes home from a shift as a server. She made the most in sales that night. She says it leaked out that she was the sales leader and I guess most of her co-workers are jealous a-holes because they would kind of tell her snide remarks about doing so well. She's like, "I was feeling so down about it. Like 15 people were just saying jealous stuff. It just had me in a horrible mood all day." (I could see in her eyes that it really, really had bothered her) I'm like, "Ok.. Well that sucks but why care what jealous people say..?"

 

Then she says, "But a few managers came up to me and told me what a good job I did! It felt so good to know that those 3 people thought I did a good job. So then I was in a better mood at the end of the day... Don't you think that's cool? That those 3 people appreciate the work I did..?" (I'm thinking... uh... what a fragile psyche...)

 

How old is this gal?

[mani81]

How old is this gal?

 

She's 23. Almost 24.

[Silver_star]

I've only been dating my gf for 4 months now. She's 23 and I 28. On one of our very first dates she talked about being a former Ford model, posing in Italian Vogue, doing runway etc... and that she had used a stage name so her parents wouldn't know she was modeling.

 

We see each other every day and have progressed quickly in our relationship to the point where we've recently began using "I love you's" even. I've inquired just a couple times since we've gone out about her secret name and each time was rebuffed. My reasoning for asking recently was that if we're going to be a couple and on an "I love you" level I would think we're at a level of trust to where we can share things like old model names.

 

Regarding her model persona - she has said she's never told anyone or any other bf what it is. She has said that "she doesn't look like she did back then (she must have put on a little weight since then) and that it makes her sad to look back at those old pictures."

 

Then another time she said, "Well... what if you don't think I look good in the pictures..?"

 

And her last excuse has been, "Well, it's nice to have a secret just for myself. You know how people keep a journal? Well, they don't show that to anyone. I think it's like that." To which I was like, "Uhh... I don't think it's really the same, lol..."

 

I would imagine if she would have done such high-profile modeling (when I asked her about her highest payout for modeling she says she made 17k one weekend on some job) she would be proud to show her pics off to her bf. She's shown me high school pictures that I'm sure were more awkward than her modeling pics, so I don't really buy her excuse that "it's because you might not like the photos."

 

When I told her, "I guess you don't trust me enough yet to tell me about it,' she replies with, "It has nothing to do with trust." I asked if she would ever tell even her husband about her alter-ego and she said, "Umm... maybe..."

 

She says she used to have a bunch of magazines with her work in them but a former college roommate accidentally recycled them. I think back in the day around the time she was doing the modeling she also worked as a bartender at a coyote ugly-type place.

 

She says if she tells me the name I could google-image it and see pics of her. I asked if she didn't want to tell me the name because the pics might be sleazy or scandalous or porn or w/e. She said they aren't.

 

Anyone I've asked about this has thought it very odd. My sister and I have both done modeling and we don't understand. My gf won't even show me one of her comp cards (like a business card for models) which is a totally typical and benign thing.

 

Someone has told me they think she did porn or something. Another has told me they think she never even modeled. That she might have done some test shots but nothing major and that she told me she was a model to impress me when we first met, and not she's stuck in a lie in a way...

 

Being honest and translucent with a partner you love is important to me so this kind of bugs me. But we are relatively new at only 4 months, so maybe I'll just hold off a bit and ask her about it later on in a few more months..? because I don't want to nag about it and she should tell me when she feels comfortable to do so. Any thoughts?

 

She created a lie, and now she has to keep dragging it out. She sstuck. She likely said it to impress you, having been a model yourself, and thought she would score points. Its very insecure sounding. I am almost postitive from the sounds of your thread that she fabricated the entire story. She likely did it to impress you, and now shes just creating excuses because she doesnt want to admit that shes lame enough to create such a lie.

[donnamaybe]

She's 23. Almost 24.

 

Then you can't use age as an excuse. I would be VERY wary of getting in too deep with this one unless she is willing to involve herself in counseling to get at the heart of these issues she has.

[Sharla]

I still think this is a troll post. But on the off chance that it's not, why would you want to keep dating someone when you think there's a 10% chance she did porn and lied about it?

 

Maybe you should take a lie detector, or even better, hire a detective to follow her around.

 

[mani81]

I still think this is a troll post. But on the off chance that it's not, why would you want to keep dating someone when you think there's a 10% chance she did porn and lied about it?

 

Maybe you should take a lie detector, or even better, hire a detective to follow her around.

 

 

Mmmm... Gee. Thanks for the advice. I don't see how these things are so out there. I've gone out with other girls that were worse.

[Hot Carl]

I'm sure the truth is in this thread somewhere. I recommend you make up your mind about what you think of the situation, then decide what you're going to do as a result. It's almost more harmful for you to dwell on this than it was for her to make up her story, if that's what she did.

 

I've had girlfriends leave me wondering about aspects of their pasts. You probably won't ever get a satisfactory response out of her on this topic. You have all the information you're ever going to get. So what are you going to do?

 

If it were me, I'd try to be honest with myself about the question: do I really think I'm going to break up with her over this? If the answer is no, which I suspect it is for you, then I suggest you just let it go and don't let your doubts and questions poison the relationship. And let this thread drop.

[Sharla]

Mmmm... Gee. Thanks for the advice. I don't see how these things are so out there. I've gone out with other girls that were worse.

 

Well I'm sorry to hear that.

[txsilkysmoothe]

I'm sure the truth is in this thread somewhere. I recommend you make up your mind about what you think of the situation, then decide what you're going to do as a result. It's almost more harmful for you to dwell on this than it was for her to make up her story, if that's what she did.

 

I've had girlfriends leave me wondering about aspects of their pasts. You probably won't ever get a satisfactory response out of her on this topic. You have all the information you're ever going to get. So what are you going to do?

 

If it were me, I'd try to be honest with myself about the question: do I really think I'm going to break up with her over this? If the answer is no, which I suspect it is for you, then I suggest you just let it go and don't let your doubts and questions poison the relationship. And let this thread drop.

 

I second the motion~