Girlfriend had alter-ego modeling name that she won't tell me

[Barky]

Maybe she's just teasing you. Let's face it, a dozen people have responded to your post about her. Probably just holding the "big secret" as a carrot and seeing how you'll squirm and beg to get it.

[meerkat stew]

"Play fighting with guy friends and not thinking it was a big deal"

 

Oh, sorry didn't connect the threads. I'd casualize things with that one and find some other options.

[txsilkysmoothe]

I don't think she ever modeled. You don't just walk into the Ford Agency one day, do a brief stint, and walk away. It's unlikely she started at 18 (as that's kind of old to start) and if earlier, wouldn't she have needed parental consent? If not legally, I would think it would be policy for an agency such as Ford Modeling. She would have had a lot of training which should still show in her mannerisms. The way she walks, poses for personal pics, etc.

 

You would think she would have digital photos considering it wasn't that long ago? It may have been a little white lie she told not thinking a relationship would develop. Now she is stuck.

[Vertex]

The more and more I read her responses, the more I am convinced that she just didn't actually model. Nobody "sneaks away" for a shoot at 18 in Italy for Italian Vogue. -_- She's really, really, really grasping at straws now.

 

The easiest way to tell if someone is lying is to ask yourself what a liar's response WOULD be to such a situation. If you asked her about taxes, for instance, and how she kept them from her parents, she'd probably say "I had the taxes done in secret under the table separately" or "the money wasn't put on the books to begin with" or "I told my parents the money came from something else" or something outrageous. All my friends who've done modeling can't "keep it secret" -- it's a fairly involved thing (especially for Ford models).

 

Asking about the taxes/the handling the money would be a pretty killer question. That's not something you can just BS well. Typically when someone is trying to concoct a lie to something complex, they'll look off to the side while they're composing a story. Keep an eye out for that -- happens often. If she is being truthful, then such a question should merit a pretty quick and accurate response.

 

What about phone calls? When did she ever get a cell phone? Wouldn't her parents realize that she was getting calls from modeling agencies? Or "did she do everything through a private Email," too? 9_9

 

"You wouldn't be able to recognize me" is also BS. You can recognize a model fine. This is just her way of saying, "I'm not actually in anything you'd find, so I'm just going to say that I looked totally different than I look now."

 

Honestly, at this point the issue becomes one of pathological lying and ruining trust through continual attempts to cover lies with more lies. I personally wouldn't stand for it, and would ask her to at least divulge the main reason because her excuses are clearly hollow.

Edited February 22, 2010 by Vertex

[threebyfate]

Good point about her taxes. Her parents would have claimed her as a dependent.

[Vertex]

Good point about her taxes. Her parents would have claimed her as a dependent.

 

Yup yup -- her story just doesn't make sense. Ford isn't going to pay under the table.

[threebyfate]

Yup yup -- her story just doesn't make sense. Ford isn't going to pay under the table.

Years ago, I once did a photoshoot for a friend who got himself into some serious hot water, since his first choices for models, bailed on him. Not something I was proud of, not that it was a pornographic or even revealing. Just that I don't believe in modeling. Because of this, I rarely mention it. And no, even if I had wanted to be a model, couldn't have done it due to height, etc.

 

Anyways, this particular shoot took a long time, even though it was for one pic, for one ad. It took all day, due to makeup, hair, lighting, etc, although part of the delay was due to my complete lack of experience and knowledge about what to do. Even so, her story about slipping out for a few hours here and there, to do a serious modeling career, sounds off.

[Leia]

One of the requirements to become a Ford model is that you have to be at least 5'9. Is she that tall?

 

There is no way for her to do a stint in Italy for a few hours without her parents finding out. A shoot will take hours, sometimes throughout the whole day or even from one morning to the next.

 

Ford Model Agency is strict and would never hire a model without a parent's consent if they are below 18 years old.

[EnglishMuffin]

Even so, her story about slipping out for a few hours here and there, to do a serious modeling career, sounds off.

 

Crews and models come hours earlier for preparation before the actual shooting begins...and the shooting can go for all day. I don't think slipping out for a few hours is possible.

[LucreziaBorgia]

My guess is that if she was in the modeling industry AT ALL, she has a dusty unused portfolio that she paid a fortune to have done, and ended up rejected or could only get some amateur or 'barely legal' porn shoot, and came up with the rest because lies are like snowballs - you roll it down a hill and it just gets bigger and bigger. This isn't the first time you've caught her in lies. She could just be a liar, you know. It isn't unheard of.

[littlewhiterose]

Based on what was said, I'm leaning towards a Hustler/Playboy or even porn type deal. If it's porn, & at $17k/wknd, you wouldn't even want to know what that entails:sick:. If I were a (Ford) model, I wouldn't hide it! It wouldn't necessarily be the first bit of info offered to people but definitely at some point, I'd share it........... Something is definitely off.

[DustySaltus]

Ask her the tax question, see what she says....

[txsilkysmoothe]

Could be. She says her sister did modeling, and that my gf's family members would tell my gf things like, "Why don't you look like your sister?" and other harsh stuff.

 

So her sister modeled and it appears it was out in the open, not hidden from the parents? The parents are okay with the sister modeling, but would not have been okay with your GF modeling?

 

I wonder if she borrowed from her sister's life just to make herself seem more interesting.

 

It's not about the modeling, it's about the lying.

[donnamaybe]

Well, when she speaks about it she seems very proud. And the thing is, that last time we spoke about it, it was her that initially brought it up. She sent me a playful flirt text about "I'm gonna hurt you" or something and then I responded with, "I think you need to pass a background check! :)" to which she said, "I did pass one under my alter-ego model name." Then I was like, "So when are you gonna tell me that name..?" And then she got upset for me asking about it

 

See, now, THAT is a lie RIGHT THERE! You do NOT give a fake name for a criminal history check or you WOULD NOT PASS. You have to first exist at all in order to pass a check.

[DustySaltus]

See, now, THAT is a lie RIGHT THERE! You do NOT give a fake name for a criminal history check or you WOULD NOT PASS. You have to first exist at all in order to pass a check.

 

Geez, this is really snowballin'

[Leia]

'Alter ego names' are only for porn stars. Just sayin'.

[Peter Attis]

That's not your girlfriend, dude. You share that girl.

[make me believe]

Dude, she's lying. There's no way she was secretly modeling in Italian Vogue at age 17. You should buy copies of that magazine from around that time and try to find her! I totally would. I mean, "you wouldn't recognize her?" Really?? She still had the same basic frame/facial features, even if it was a few years ago and she was heavily made up. If she IS in a magazine, you would recognize her. Also, she made $17k in one weekend but was bartending on the side? Um...why? And where is all that money now? She should have a pretty big savings account - or LOTS of expensive items - if she was so high profile that she could make $17k in one weekend.

[threebyfate]

I just took a quick peak at the opening posts of your other threads.

• This girl lied to you about having exes on her Facebook and lied to you about viewing her most recent ex's, quite often.
  
• She playfights with men, then lies to you that she's doing it because she's "angry".
  
• You know she has self-esteem issues.
  
• Now this modeling thing that doesn't make sense.
  

I dunno. I think you need to seriously review why you're in a relationship with her.

[boogieboy]

Maybe she's just teasing you. Let's face it, a dozen people have responded to your post about her. Probably just holding the "big secret" as a carrot and seeing how you'll squirm and beg to get it.

 

Shes definitely doing THIS. She wants you to beg her to tell you. Its a game, dont fall for it.

 

You need to do the opposite. When she mentions her alter ego again, you say this very sternly and seriously so she gets the point. "If youre not going to tell me the name and show me the pictures, dont ever mention the alter ego again." And then dont ever ask her about it, and if she mentions it, ignore it- change the subject. Dont grab at her bait.

 

I agree with the others that if she feels the need to keep this lie going, that there is something wrong with her.

[torranceshipman]

My guess is that if she was in the modeling industry AT ALL, she has a dusty unused portfolio that she paid a fortune to have done, and ended up rejected or could only get some amateur or 'barely legal' porn shoot, and came up with the rest because lies are like snowballs - you roll it down a hill and it just gets bigger and bigger. This isn't the first time you've caught her in lies. She could just be a liar, you know. It isn't unheard of.

 

I agree with this 100%. To add to the other comments, why the heck would she work in a Coyote Ugly style bar for tips when she was earning $17k in one weekend modelling for Ford? She is a huge liar. So much of this is really, really obvious but all the other posters have already identified those things.

 

Just one more thing to add...if her sister was a model and she felt her sister was so much more attractive, maybe she kinda took on her sister's persona re: the modelling (i.e. her sister actually did it and your girlfriend looked on with envy). But at the end of the day LB is probably right about the lying - some people just lie....I'd really take a step back from this girl if I were you, unless she wants to come clean and really tell the truth.

[mani81]

Maybe she's just teasing you. Let's face it, a dozen people have responded to your post about her. Probably just holding the "big secret" as a carrot and seeing how you'll squirm and beg to get it.

 

Mmmm... Nah. She's at the point where she gets really upset about me pressing her about it.

 

I wonder if she borrowed from her sister's life just to make herself seem more interesting.

 

I think there could be truth to this.

 

See, now, THAT is a lie RIGHT THERE! You do NOT give a fake name for a criminal history check or you WOULD NOT PASS. You have to first exist at all in order to pass a check.

 

Oh - she was saying that in jest. We were text play-fighting.

 

 

The only possibilities beyond lying, are eating disorders and body dysmorph. If she suffers from both or either one of these issues, she might not want to be reminded of that period of her life.

 

But then, if she wasn't proud of her previous career, why mention it in the first place, if it's not something she's willing to be open about?

 

She did have an eating disorder but I think it was during a period after her supposed modeling time.

[mani81]

Oh, sorry didn't connect the threads. I'd casualize things with that one and find some other options.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just took a quick peak at the opening posts of your other threads.

• This girl lied to you about having exes on her Facebook and lied to you about viewing her most recent ex's, quite often.
  
• She playfights with men, then lies to you that she's doing it because she's "angry".
  
• You know she has self-esteem issues.
  
• Now this modeling thing that doesn't make sense.
  

I dunno. I think you need to seriously review why you're in a relationship with her.

 

 

This is another of a few red flags that have popped up. None are too bad by themselves, but altogether they make me nervous.

 

List of potential red flags:

 

- Most of friends are guys

 

- Her best friend is a guy

 

- When we had a pregnancy scare, she was hesitant to take the test and seemed to talk more openly to her guy best friend. (I had imagined we were going to keep this topic hush hush and between ourselves, but the day after we got into a disagreement because she wouldn't talk to me about taking the test or pregnancy symptoms she came home one day saying "so I was just talking to *best friend's name* about pregnancy symptoms..." And something about her friend offering to be with her when she took the test. I was upset that she talked to him without telling me first, and that he had the gall to 'offer his support' in her time of need (I don't trust most guys).

 

- This first time I hung around her and her work friends at a house party one of her guy friends called her a "bitch" and she ran across the room laughing and saying, "oh yeah?" and got into a 10-second arm-punching match that ended when he put his arms around her to subdue her. And they were laughing throughout it.

 

The way we usually flight is play-fighting. That's her preferred flirt method I guess..

 

We got into a heated thing over that as I saw it as blatant flirting/play fighting in front of me. She said, "no, I look at him as a brother. Brothers and sisters play fight."

 

Then she said, "He called me a bitch and I was going over there to hit him so he'd stop. He's my manager so I can't hurt him but I needed to do something." I'm like, "Are you in kindergarten or something..?"

 

Then she said, "It wasn't her fault that he put his arms around her." I said, "You initiated the physical contact. You let him into your personal space and let him touch you. Do you know what kind of signal you send to guys when you do that?!"

 

Then I asked her if I had done that scenario with a female friend if she (my gf) would be upset. She said "yes." Then she said the whole thing wasn't flirting because it wasn't her inention to flirt and that she wasn't attracted to him. I said, "Well, maybe you just like the attention. Play fighting between adult men and women that are not related is flirting." She said she asked around 10 of her coworkers (she works as a server) if it was flirting or not and they all said, "Play fighting is flirting.. but if it's with a close friend it's not..." While everyone I've asked (over 30 ppl) has said it was blatant flirting and way out of line.

 

- She had her most recent ex as a friend on facebook and would view his profile ever-so-often. I caught her in a lie (that she never admitted to) about him even being her friend on there. (I have another thread up about this incident).

 

- Has worked at coyote ugly-style bar where it gets pretty sleezy

 

- had period of sexual wildness (3somes) She had talked about this before we started dating (I think she was trying to impress me). Well, anyways months into our relationship I finally brought it up one day about how that stuff ever came about (just curious, as a bf and as we were getting more serious. She has also asked me pretty intimate sex questions about my past as well. I've always been open about it if she wanted to know). Well, she seemed nervous talking about it. I said, "You were more open with me before we dated. You would have probably had an easier time talking about it then, huh?" And she said, "Yeah..." I thought that was a little crappy but I understand her not wanting to be judged.

 

Well, she was talking about doing it in the plural form and I was like, "Oh. You've done it more than once?" She said, "Yeah.." But when I asked her how many times she got flustered and kept saying, "Why do you want to know..? Why do you want to know..?" After a few minutes she said, "Two." I was like, "Uh.. you admitted it was more than once without hesitation but then you had a problem saying it was 'two times'... that doesn't even make sense!" Then she said she had done it with different people those times and that she was the 3rd party once (!!!) (it was a gf of hers and her gf's bf).

 

I understand... Past is past. But I was just curious in the respect that she seems to notice any time a girl even slightly flirts at me (a lil jealous) and I could never, never see my gf in a 3some type scenario. That's what was most peculiar to me about it. Also, I've never dated a girl who has done this (that I know). Or even know girls that have done this lol. I know we all have our wild periods and experimentation/finding ourselves and that... Just - as a bf and someone wanting to know how my gf works, I just see it as a certain um... interesting personality trait.

 

- The model-alter ego name thing

 

- Had eating disorder

 

- Has reoccurring dreams of me cheating on her

Edited February 22, 2010 by mani81

[DustySaltus]

I'm sorry Mani.

 

These aren't red flags, it sounds like a ****ing disaster.

 

I mean these things actually make the modeling issue seem miniscule.

 

She trust her friends more than you? She was "wild" at one point but won't tell you about her past modeling jobs? Why?

 

I have no doubt now that she was doing some risque stuff that Italian Vogue would never be apart of.

 

Why would you continue on a relationship like this?

[Sharla]

Troll fabrication make for one exciting thread.....

 

Duh.