Els Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Do you ever do this, especially if it is a big issue? About a month ago, my bf said some very hurtful things to me in a fit of anger. He apologized on that same day and took back most of the things he said. But it still plays over in my head til this day. I still feel hurt and pain over many of the things he said. Yet it should have been over long ago. Am I just overdramatizing it and should I learn to forgive and forget.. or is it a common reaction when we have been hurt?
baker23 Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 It is normal to feel this way, particularly if that something he did or said was mean and painful, but once you have decided to forgive, you have to move on. It is easier said than done, but you cannot dwell on things you are already discussed and forgiven. If you believe in his remorsefulness and think his apology was sincere, you have to let it go; it's not healthy to the relationship to keep bringing back past issues.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 24, 2010 Posted February 24, 2010 It is normal to feel this way, particularly if that something he did or said was mean and painful, but once you have decided to forgive, you have to move on. It is easier said than done, but you cannot dwell on things you are already discussed and forgiven. If you believe in his remorsefulness and think his apology was sincere, you have to let it go; it's not healthy to the relationship to keep bringing back past issues. I agree. It's hard to let go of a hurtful comment..I understand that. But if you did chose to forgive and he really is sorry then let it go. NOW, make sure it doesn't happen again. My fiance has a habit of bringing up past issues when we are having an argument about something totally different. I diffuse the situation by stopping him and saying that we need to focus on the issue at hand and not bring other issues into it. If he is still bothered by a past issue (which it's evident he is, otherwise he wouldn't have brought it up) then you two need to talk about it at another time. Communication is key in a relationship.
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