JadedHeart Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Hey all, I had a quick question and wanted some feedback. Let's say there's this girl that throws all the interest signs at you. Holding hands, getting really close, lots of light touching. You ask her out and she declines. Which is fine and dandy by me, but the way I see it, I think it's now a complete waste of time doing anything with her since it won't go anywhere. Is this an immature mentality? When I saw her in class I didn't even say hi. The reason was not because I was bitter or resentful that she turned me down, I just don't think it's a good idea to speak to her anymore. That way I'll avoid being hooked on her claws, and just speaking to her is a waste of breath because the time I'm bantering with her I could be using it for someone else. Does anyone else feel this way? Or has anyone else totally ignored the person that turned you down? Even when she still tries to be friendly with you?
counterman Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 There has been a few girls who had lead me on and when I responded back, they pulled way back as though I was a creep. That hurts. I learnt that if they want to be friendly, they can be friendly but I'm not going out of my way to reciprocate. For you, you could have probably expected a bit of fun. If she flirts with you, you can flirt back but only if you don't expect anything from it. I use do a bit of light teasing and bantering and felt really good about it afterwards, but never did I want to ask girl out and neither did she want to go out with me. Naturally, when things get physical and you're getting all these signals, you want to take it further and do something about it. However, you know that she didn't want to go out with you. So, I would say talk to other girls and ask them out. Don't get caught up with this girl. Although, don't be rude to. If she says hi, say hello back and smile. For future references, if you ask a girl out and she says no, even after showing interest, don't show that you cared. Just smile and say "that's alright then" and move on. It'll boost her ego if she knew it screwed you up inside. That's just my opinion anyways.
BG1985 Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 That's a healthy attitude both of you have. To the OP, this girl probably doesn't care whether you speak to her in class or not. My sister has a rule about guys she dates/dated. She doesn't remain friends with an ex boyfriend. If she goes on just one or two dates with a guy and it doesn't work out, she won't be friends with the guy. If a guy asks her out and she declines, she won't be friends with that guy either. It's a great way to avoid awkwardness and a good way to set boundaries before future relationships start.
St. Nick Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 No, there is nothing wrong with ignoring a woman that rejected your advances. In fact, it is the best course you could take. If you keep acting friendly with her then she'll think you still want her and even act colder toward you.
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