Mad BF Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Alright. Long story short. I will be forced to leave my wonderful girlfriend in about 4 months. We have been dating for about 6 months. Heres the perdicament and question. What would be the best thing for me to do? I am in love with this girl and while im away I will only be able to come home once approx every 3 to 4 months. Now I want what is best for this girl and I care for her so much. It tears me apart knowing that I will have to leave her but I try to reassure her that if it is meant to be than we will get through it. I have been toying with the idea of breaking up with her. Its not because I dont love her anymore. Its because I want what is best for her and I want her to be happy. Ugh. I understand that long distance relationships are extremely tough and I am not sure what to do? Can anyone please provide what they think about the issue? What are your opinions on long distance relationships and can they work?
Tropic Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 How old are you both? My boyfriend and I have always been long distance, seeing each other every 3-5 months. We talk every day by MSN mostly and have been together for almost 2 years. We plan on moving together this year. It is not easy but it is possible as long as you communicate and trust each other.
Sadgati Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Alright. Long story short. I will be forced to leave my wonderful girlfriend in about 4 months. We have been dating for about 6 months. Heres the perdicament and question. What would be the best thing for me to do? I am in love with this girl and while im away I will only be able to come home once approx every 3 to 4 months. Now I want what is best for this girl and I care for her so much. It tears me apart knowing that I will have to leave her but I try to reassure her that if it is meant to be than we will get through it. I have been toying with the idea of breaking up with her. Its not because I dont love her anymore. Its because I want what is best for her and I want her to be happy. Ugh. I understand that long distance relationships are extremely tough and I am not sure what to do? Can anyone please provide what they think about the issue? What are your opinions on long distance relationships and can they work? I don't believe it is your decision to decide what is best for her. It is her decision to make. If you say you love her and you don't want her hurt or unhappy, breaking up with her will certainly hurt her and make her unhappy. LDR's can and do work IF you both want them to. If you tell your gf you are thinking of breaking up with her for her own good, that is sooo going to make her feel threatened and insecure before you ever step one foot out of the door.
XKatieX Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Of course they can work, they just require more work and effort than a relationship you have with someone you can be with everyday or see more often. I have been in a LDR for 3 years, 3 very long and difficult years. But, the more time goes on the closer it gets for us to be together. Its still another 2 years away before we can be with each other everyday. Its never going to be easy, but someone once said that nothing worthwhile is easy. I think you should be asking yourself is this girl worth the wait?
Citizen Erased Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Alright. Long story short. I will be forced to leave my wonderful girlfriend in about 4 months. We have been dating for about 6 months. Heres the perdicament and question. What would be the best thing for me to do? I am in love with this girl and while im away I will only be able to come home once approx every 3 to 4 months. Now I want what is best for this girl and I care for her so much. It tears me apart knowing that I will have to leave her but I try to reassure her that if it is meant to be than we will get through it. I have been toying with the idea of breaking up with her. Its not because I dont love her anymore. Its because I want what is best for her and I want her to be happy. Ugh. I understand that long distance relationships are extremely tough and I am not sure what to do? Can anyone please provide what they think about the issue? What are your opinions on long distance relationships and can they work? That's really up to her to decide, not you. My current situation, being without him would be what would make me unhappy, not the distance. Make sure you are in it 100%. Leave her to decide if she is.
threebyfate Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 How do you know what's best for her and what will make her happy? Has she expressed that she wants to end it? One thing's for certain. Viable RL long-term relationships require both of you to be all in. With LDRs, it needs even more than that. Since there's a lack of physicality for extended periods of time, you need to make up for the lack of intimacy through cyber-means. This means that communication, trust and contact, has to be consistent and often, at least for most people. And of course, you're going to have some individuals who don't really want to communicate often but then, they're also not that serious about the relationship, to begin with. If both of you aren't in this wholeheartedly, then it would be in both your best interests to break it off, now.
Meaplus3 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Alright. Long story short. I will be forced to leave my wonderful girlfriend in about 4 months. We have been dating for about 6 months. Heres the perdicament and question. What would be the best thing for me to do? I am in love with this girl and while im away I will only be able to come home once approx every 3 to 4 months. Now I want what is best for this girl and I care for her so much. It tears me apart knowing that I will have to leave her but I try to reassure her that if it is meant to be than we will get through it. I have been toying with the idea of breaking up with her. Its not because I dont love her anymore. Its because I want what is best for her and I want her to be happy. Ugh. I understand that long distance relationships are extremely tough and I am not sure what to do? Can anyone please provide what they think about the issue? What are your opinions on long distance relationships and can they work? Hi there. I think that trust and commitment are the two key words here. How much will you trust one another while apart? And how committed to one another will you two be to make it work. If those two things are figured out and you also put a plan into firm action as to when you can be together without the distance, I think you will have your answer. I'm not really for LDR's, because I know myself and leaving and saying good bye time after time would break my heart. But that's just me. Others are diff. Oh heck.. go with your heart. Best of luck. Mea:)
Author Mad BF Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 I will be gone for military training and no she has not expressed that she wants to break things off. I am just not sure if it can work. Its going to be a long 4 years and who knows where the military will send me? Bc its military training Im not sure if I will be able to keep in touch with her everyday. Especially during the first 2 months. I dont think I will even be able to talk to her. It is going to be extremely hard on both of us and I know it is not my decision to do what is best for her but I want her to be happy. I know that breaking up with her will break her heart at first and it would crush mine also. And I will always wonder would it have worked out? That is why I am so torn over this. I just want her to be happy.
Tropic Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Just try and see how it goes. . . if you love each other it might work. Sometimes we need to take risks. . . what do you have to lose? If you break up with her now, you lose her. If you keep the relationship you might lose her too, but it might also work out.
FabulousLadee Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 COMMUNICATION..COMMUNICATION..COMMUNICATION!!!! It seems so simple but for some..it's very hard. With frequent communication on a CONSISTENT bases..that actually builds trust and the security you need to be in a LDR. If you all get that part down pact...you will be fine.
Author Mad BF Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 Alright. Ill just have to let fate take its course. Thanks to all of you for the advice
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