DJ33 Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Hey guys, first post here but I have been lurking around for a few days now. You guys are a great support group. So here's my situation: My girlfriend of almost 2 years split up with me last year around October and I was really devastated. She said the reason for the breakup was because she no longer had any feelings for me. I was really devastated, asked her to work on the relationship with me but she didn't want to. So I lurked around here and found Caliguy's NC rule. Did that for a month and I felt slightly better. Only slightly though. During Thanksgiving, she broke her leg and she realized that she had nobody that truly cared for her. She called me and I rushed to her place and took care of her for a few days. We kind of got back together. During Christmas when I went to the East to spend time with my family, she slept with her housemate's brother who happened to be my friend. When I found out, I have never felt worse in my life. I would rather have a bullet go through my head. So we put this matter aside because I did not want to act solely based on emotion but it has been bothering me since I found out. I would occasionally bring this up and she would get MAD at me and call me EMO and some other crap. She had zero empathy for me and did not give a **** about how I felt. Finally last week, she said she is sick of me and just disappeared from my life. I'm left hanging here. This person took advantage of me when she had nobody to take of her, cheated on me, and during my lowest moments, she not only showed no care but also managed to hurt me even more. I hate myself for still having feelings for her after all these and I feel really lost now. I am so hurt by the way she treated me. I'm sorry for the long post guys...
apollo2588 Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 DJ33- Sorry you're going through this... it's not easy but you came to the right place. Most of the people here have been and are going through what you are too. I know I am... You mentioned Caliguy's NC rules... a big part of that is being able to push away when an ex initiates contact. Your situation is a big reason why we have these rules... it's a temporary fix. When an ex contacts you with "I miss you" and whatnot, it's very hard to turn that away... many people (including yourself) learned that the hard way. Nevertheless, it's for the greater good. You said it yourself: This person took advantage of me when she had nobody to take of her, cheated on me, and during my lowest moments, she not only showed no care but also managed to hurt me even more. There's always a chance that something will happen in your ex's life that will make her think, "You know, DJ33 was a pretty cool guy... maybe I should see what he's up to." Think about the way you feel now when her number pops up on your caller ID. More often than not, a person that treated you like crap once will do so again. Find the strength to say no, eventually it will get easier, the pain will ease and you'll meet someone where cheating and 180 emotions aren't a possibility. Good luck
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