Kristine Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Especially when you only dated a month, about 18 times in that month but still it was just a month. I have a new date tomorrow but I'm still hung up on the last guy, we broke up the day before Valentine's and he viewed my profile on match.com after the breakup but I haven't seen or heard from him since. I honestly fell for him and that's what's making it hard. Plus he invading my space so it's not easy to forget him. Must be my lesson for next time, don't bring said guy into your world until your sure said guy is going to last. We went to the pool I usually swim at, local restaurants, etc. He even gave me a stuffed I LOVE YOU bear that now I truthfully don't know what to do with. I'm thinking Goodwill.
The Paper Knight Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 (edited) Especially when you only dated a month. I have a new date tomorrow but I'm still hung up on the last guy I still think about someone I dated last year for only a month aswell. Its usually only when I am on my own, when I am with other people it is not so dominant. Plus he invading my space so it's not easy to forget him. You cant really control that aspect... and yes I can still picture her on the couch, in the shower, etc. Although I just laugh now at how someone can hang around in your mind for so long, while they have totally forgotten about you. He even gave me a stuffed I LOVE YOU bear that now I truthfully don't know what to do with. I'm thinking Goodwill. Burn it! Edited February 22, 2010 by The Paper Knight
Bejita463 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 He even gave me a stuffed I LOVE YOU bear that now I truthfully don't know what to do with. I'm thinking Goodwill. I like mementos like that, personally.
SilkRose Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Especially when you only dated a month, about 18 times in that month but still it was just a month. I have a new date tomorrow but I'm still hung up on the last guy, we broke up the day before Valentine's and he viewed my profile on match.com after the breakup but I haven't seen or heard from him since. I honestly fell for him and that's what's making it hard. Plus he invading my space so it's not easy to forget him. Must be my lesson for next time, don't bring said guy into your world until your sure said guy is going to last. We went to the pool I usually swim at, local restaurants, etc. He even gave me a stuffed I LOVE YOU bear that now I truthfully don't know what to do with. I'm thinking Goodwill. My advice, go out on that date! Focus your energies on what you are going to wear, how you're going to get there and give the new guy a chance, don't compare him to the 1 month guy, just give him a chance and let yourself have a good time. I went out on a date a few weeks ago, even though I was getting over my ex of 3 years...long story...it was hard but I wore an evening dress that I never get a chance to wear, arrived on time and had a great time with a true gentlemen, don't think he's quite right for me but it was wonderful. I was reminded that that is the way that a gentlemen behaves he treated me with so much respect and such a positive attitude. So whatever happens I know that I've had that experience and hopefully made a good friend in the process. I don't agree with burning innocent teddybears, give yourself some time, you'll figure out what to do with the bear. Hope your date goes well!
Author Kristine Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 Thanks, My date was a bust. He was a jerk in essence. It was a very bad date, now I actually know what a bad date is. I've normally just had dates. Don't want to see that guy again. As for the bear well who knows what will come of it, for now it's on my bed. It's a pretty big bear too.
biqboy42o Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Just a month?! Should've moved on already!
boogieboy Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 The time you miss someone is subjective. It depends on whether or not you want to let go. If you WANT to let go, you can do things to make yourself forget about him, you can psyche yourself out to not miss him, its all mind games.
carhill Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Hopefully, the next experience will proceed at a more moderate pace, allowing the getting to know part to better pace the infatuation part. IMO, you're missing the infatuation, not him. He's just the residual image of that infatuation, a focal point for feelings contained completely within yourself. I tend to process relationship (in my case marital) endings as points, perhaps off/on-ramps, along a path. There were good reasons for our paths to diverge at those particular points and I accept that. I can miss the way I felt sharing the path, but that is within me and has nothing to do with the other person's existence. It was how I felt when with them which caused me to love and remember them. Their existence continues on, completely separate and disconnected from my own. That's one method of processing. Yours will be unique to you. I can tell you that hanging on to feelings regarding ended relationships can cause unhealthy dynamics in one's personal and social life long-term. BTDT. Hope it works out for you
Satisfaction Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Sometimes people affect you like that an you think about them out of proportion to the time you spent with them. Its ok. Keep distracting yourself and that will make it bearable. Later on you can hide the bear in the back of your closet fora bit. But for now you can hold him when you feel sad and just need to cry.
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