SlightlyMad Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 But their four year old son is a brat and is need of a good old fashion butt whooping. Ok, maybe that was a bit harsh, but I cannot help but feel angry when I deal with their kid. Its a shame because it wasn't always that way. He used to be a genuine sweet little boy, but now he is like the problem child. I would like to help them, but not sure if they would like a friend who doesnt have any kids offer parenting advice. Here are a few examples of how their son has been acting the last few times I have spent time with him. I went over there Christmas evening to give him his gift, the minute I came in he was all over me saying "Gimme my pwesent!!! Gimme my pwesemt!!!" I told him a calm voice that he will get it after dinner. He flipped, but his parents reinforced my message. Anyway, he gets his present and loves it. Has a ball with it, thanks me and hugs me. Only a short few minutes later, I am playing wii with him, he doesn't like the way I am playing, takes the controller away from me, scolds me saying, "Your not good at this, you stink at this, im not playing with you anymore!!" The way he said was by pointing his little finger at my face. I let go because maybe he was tired. Wrong. An hour later we start playing another wii game, he sees that i am beating him (I really didnt want to let him win hahaha), starts stomping his feet, proceeds to stand directly in front of me blocking the tv, realizes that im still winning, takes my controller, pauses the game, then resets just as he was about to lose. At this point, I was getting a little peeved (Is that wrong?), so my friend and I leave to pick up some milk and a snack. We come back, I got myself a brownie. Their son, comes running up to me asking "Can I have some?? Can I have some??" Touching my food and whatnot. I break him off a piece, he scarfs down, asking for more pieces, I gave him another piece, his response: "NO!! I dont want that piece, i want a bigger piece!!!' The whole time, my friends not doing anything. I cave because I am an idiot and give me another, somewhat slightly larger piece....still not good enough! Finally, his mother hears the tantrum and sends him to an early bed. A few days later I went to his daycare to pick him up with his mom. He seemed well behaved for a few. Saw me, came up and greeted me with a high five. Real sweet, right? Yeah, immediately followed by "You come over? Im going to poop on you." His teachers all turned and gave a "WTF" look. We go back to their apartment, play some more wii and the usual tantrums I previously mentioned only this time, he bit me, and start with name calling and pestering. Now, my question to you is am I being completely irrational? I know a majority of you will say, "Dude he's 4, lighten up!" But, something about how he acts just irritates me to no end. I am used to being around little kids because of nieces and nephews, and none of them have acted like this. I want to help them, but I am not sure how. I don't really feel comfortable disciplining their kid, because I am not a blood relative. I dont mean to be judgemental towards them, but I think the problem may be a lot of inconsistency, he has a lot of babysitters that watch him that probably have different attitudes, so he is unsure who is the real authoritative figure. Also, when it comes to discipline, it is usually coming from one of them, not a combined effort. They have another kid on the way....I am afraid how their son is going to relate to having to share the attention. Sorry for the novel, any insight would be great. Thanks!
Tayla Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 1: Address the issue with the parents first. Express your concern in a caring manner . Keep it basic and give examples. 2: What you can address as an adult though when its a matter of the child wanting to share your foods, Politely say No thank you .Maybe your parent can find you a treat though, and refer the mooching to them. 3: When playing games or interacting and the behavior is unacceptable. Stop the current play and simply say in a decent tone- Time out, I need to take a break. Then do so. No game is worth the child getting to maintain the inappropriate behavior. 4: Never got on the platform of "You dont have kids so dont tell me how to raise mine" deal. I came from the parental stance of welcoming feedback from other adults and even the kids who my child associated with. How else can one correct things if not hearing and be willing to consider different stances. A parent needs to be in the "know* in order to do anything, but then again some parents have little , better yet zero regard for feedback when its THEIR precious child. Which is actually a poor sign of communication to not be open to differences
RobM Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Don't say anything to the parents, just stay out of it and away from the kid as much as possible, unless you want to ruin the friendship. Most people I've know think their kid is perfect and will take any input as there is something wrong with you, not their kid.
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