mello24 Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 There's a woman I know at work who I really like but I know it will never happen as she has a boyfriend and she would never look at me in that way. I'm trying to think rationally about it, but I can't get these feelings out of my head. Our personalities are so different, i'm quiet whereas she is confident, so I know even if she was single, she wouldn't go for me as I think she thinks i'm boring. She is quite 'touchy feeley' too because when we were out, she rest her head on my arm, and she gave me random hugs, although I know that doesn't mean she likes me in that way. We don't really talk much, just random stuff, because i never know what to say, so we don't really 'click' as such. We are both moving from the company later on in the year so I will probably never see her again. I just don't know what to do about my feelings, I know there is no point in telling her, and I know that I can't act on my feelings, although i can't stop thinking about her. It really hurts wanting someone I can't have - what do I do?
DiscoChick Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Learn how to want someone that isn't taken. Let go. I know how you feel, though. I've longed for a piece of German chocolate cake for months, but I can never have it.
Author mello24 Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 I don't think my feelings for this person equates to feelings over a piece of cake.
hats Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 I don't think my feelings for this person equates to feelings over a piece of cake. This might sound twisted, but I like to read through the marriage and infidelity forums. Makes me feel better YMMV tho.
stillafool Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Well, since you both are leaving the company soon. Wait until the last week before you or she leaves and tell her how you feel about her and ask for her phone number. Ya never know. But, if you don't tell her you will forever wonder what would have happened if you didn't. At least you won't have to worry about seeing her again if she doesn't reciprocate.
Kristine Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I agree with the previous poster. You feel this strongly, she may be one of those hangs onto a relationship until a better one comes along people. Give it a shot. I don't believe in having regrets in life, granted that makes for some interesting choices in life and some fascinating stories and yes still do have regrets in life but fewer than I did before. Anyway give it a shot you may end up with a wife.
skydiveaddict Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 i can't stop thinking about her. It really hurts wanting someone I can't have - what do I do? If you ever find out , let me know
littlewhiterose Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I say hold out for a more deal. Who knows, maybe down the road, she'll eventually become available. As hard as it is, I say to just let it go. You know that saying "do unto others..." ? Well, in an alternate universe, let's say you were her boyfriend, how would you feel if some other dude swooped in and took your woman away from you? And more importantly what would that say about her? I say don't do anything if she's attached. Count it as an unrequited crush.
dazzle22 Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 The difference in personalities is not a roadblock. Most "touchy feely" people end up with more reserved people - they need the opposite to play off of. She does touch you, even if you think it is platonic. If she was repulsed by you she wouldn't, so don't sell yourself so short just yet. Plenty of quiet people are much more interesting than louder people, and there are ways to make this known. Throw her off a bit with a witty comment every once in a while, something that makes her raise an eyebrow and laugh, and think, "hmm, there is more to him than I thought.." I don't think you should let her know your feelings, but I do think you should amp up the conversations at this point, waaay up. There is nothing to lose since you both are leaving soon. And as far as what to say, remember that Jerry Seinfeld made millions about a show "about nothing". It is seeing the humor about the regular things in life that make people laugh and want to be with you, not expounding on the mysteries of life. Ever seen the comedian Gaffigan make everyone laugh just talking about "hot pockets" and "bacon'? Also remember, most people like to talk about THEMSELVES and want people to be interested in what they are saying, so there is your topic of conversation....
Kristine Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Oh I disagree, boyfriend is NOT a husband. There's no ties there. She's still single in my world.
DiscoChick Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I don't think my feelings for this person equates to feelings over a piece of cake. I agree. You won't die if you get the girl, which means you actually have a chance. All I can do is stare with longing. Oh I disagree, boyfriend is NOT a husband. There's no ties there. She's still single in my world. I always thought of being in a basic relationship much like a marriage. It may just be me, though. The only difference [iMO] is the paper showing that it's lawful.
Kristine Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Guess it comes from being married because I used to take boyfriend/girlfriend relationships as bound but I've realized they aren't as bound as marriages there's wiggle room and if he wanted to keep her he would marry her.
SadandConfusedWA Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I agree with Kristine. Mos bf/gf relationships DON'T end up with marriage. Which means that they will likely break up at some point. All the guys that I had crushes on and were taken (but not married or engaged) ended up becoming single somewhere down the line. Also, so many people settle because they don't want to be alone.
Author mello24 Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 Thanks for the replies. I just have a lot of self doubt and believe that even if I did say something then it would make things worse; I don't want to take her from her boyfriend, I just feel that it would be better if I made my feelings known, even though it could be for nothing;anything is better than bottling it up surely?
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