durr Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 (edited) There's this girl i used to date a few years ago while we were in college together. She recently came back into my life a few months ago when we both decided to go back to school. Since August of last year when we went back to school, we had been hanging out and talking a lot as just friends but I sometimes got the impression of something more. She was sort of dating someone at the time but they were having a lot of problems. Serious problems for her. Well in December of last year at the end of the semester I told her how i felt about her and that I thought there was something between us and I wanted to try dating again. She said she had been thinking about it too and that she was ready to move on from her boyfriend. She also said that I was a big part of the reason she came back to school and that she missed me and thought about me a lot over the past year and half we hadn't talked. These things made me believe she was thinking the same thing I was. Due to her situation with her boyfriend and the fact that she had been going through a lot she said she wanted to take a little time and sort things out and clear her head. I was fine with this. After we talked we didn't see each other for a few weeks due to winter break from school. The first week we were back at school everything was like normal. Well since then I've been getting the cold shoulder from her for a few weeks now. We still see each other at school and talk at school but any attempts to talk outside of school have pretty much been ignored by her. When i asked her about it she told me that her head was still messed up and she was still sorting things out. She also told me she still talks to her ex/boyfriend. It was a very short conversation. I haven't called her or tried to spend any time with her outside of school since she told me she still talks to her ex. She hasn't made any effort to talk to me or spend time with me either. When we are at school we still talk like normal for the most part. I kind of feel like things are unresolved because we haven't really had a good conversation about it. I suppose what's confusing me so much is the things she said to me when we talked. It seems I was led to believe something that may not have been true. Is this a case of her finding comfort in someone until her boyfriend comes back around and tries to get in her good graces again? Do you think I should bring it up again and ask her what she's thinking? Do you think i should make one last effort to try and spend some time with her? Should I just try and be her friends with her like I was before and wait it out? I really don't know what to do. Edited February 20, 2010 by durr
callingyouuu Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 When i asked her about it she told me that her head was still messed up and she was still sorting things out. She also told me she still talks to her ex/boyfriend. It was a very short conversation. I haven't called her or tried to spend any time with her outside of school since she told me she still talks to her ex. She hasn't made any effort to talk to me or spend time with me either. When we are at school we still talk like normal for the most part. I kind of feel like things are unresolved because we haven't really had a good conversation about it. She told you what you need to know. I would take her word for it. Give her space. If anything, she's trying to keep you away for one of two reasons: 1. She's still not ready for a relationship and thinks that if she gets involved with anything now, someone might get hurt. 2. She's not interested in you anymore. Whichever one is the case, I would advise just to put her on the backburner and give her time to sort things out. If she initiates anything, be friendly. Watch for signs, but don't force anything.
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 She told you what you need to know. I would take her word for it. Give her space. If anything, she's trying to keep you away for one of two reasons: 1. She's still not ready for a relationship and thinks that if she gets involved with anything now, someone might get hurt. 2. She's not interested in you anymore. Whichever one is the case, I would advise just to put her on the backburner and give her time to sort things out. If she initiates anything, be friendly. Watch for signs, but don't force anything. Ditto and 3. She still hasn't given up on being with the ex. (especially true if he ended it.) You can be thankful that she didn't rush into something with you when she hasn't really decided what she wants. You should look for someone new.
Author durr Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 (edited) I've been trying to give her space but it's sort of hard to do. Especially since we have classes together and we are in a study group with a couple other people 2 days a week. Like I said in the first post when we are at school we talk like everything is normal. She tries to joke around and have conversation but lately I've been trying to be a little distant. I don't know if that's the right thing to do though. Should I just maintain the friendship how it has always been and continue to talk and joke around or should I continue to be distant and limit contact? I mean I don't want to be a complete jerk to her you know what I mean. Edited February 20, 2010 by durr
Recommended Posts