Drewy1888 Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 I met my girlfriend about 2 years ago on the internet. We began dating about a month after we began meeting. She is about a 2 1/2 hour drive away and I see her on the weekends. I use to see her more often but she recently got a full time job. I am a full time college student so it has been hard to see eachother. Even though we see eachother on the weekends it feel like its not enough. I made a terrible mistake by telling her that it wasn't going to work out. After a day i felt like I made a terrible mistake. I felt so empty. I've been madly in love with her for a while now and it hurts that we are not togehter. I asked her if she wanted to work things out and she said she just wants to be friends right now. She said she is very stressed about her new job and all the pressure being put on her by her family and that she doesn't have time for a relationship right now. I think this breakdown may have had to do with me being upset because she goes out with her friends as soon as she gets home from work to relieve the stress. I don't mind if she goes out but it sucks when I can't talk to her before I go to sleep like I use to. She said things could change in the future. I told her I would give her space and time and that I just wanted the best for her. I love her so much that it is bothering me that there is a chance that she won't come back. What do I do? Any advice? This is my first long term relationship so I need all the tips I can get. Thank You.
amagordos Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Well im sorry that it ended that way, but I think time is your best bet right now. Give it some time and then try to work things out with her again. She has to miss you a little, maybe then she will value what she lost. I hope this helps a little.
USMCHokie Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 I'm sorry, but everything in your post points to only one conclusion...it's over...don't hope for "a change in the future"...that's just a line people use to ease the blow and make them feel less guilty about ending things... LDR's are tough...and there's not just a chance that she won't come back...she's definitely not coming back...pick yourself up, spend some time alone if you have to, with friends and family, and NO CONTACT...take some time to heal from the breakup...again, NO CONTACT...the first one is always the toughest, but rest assured that things will get better... And one more thing, don't EVER mention a break or breakup unless you are 100% prepared to never see or talk to your partner again...take this as a lesson learned...
skydiveaddict Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Hokes is right . move on. stay where you are and you will prolong this suffering indefinitely
Author Drewy1888 Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 This is her exact text. "I just wanna be friends right now. I can't take the pressure I'm being out under fir everything lately. I just can't deal with a relationship right now even though I ****ing love you. It hurts me as much as it hurts you but it is the right thing and you know it. It can change in the future but as of right now it's really hard for me and I just need alone time. I wish you'd understand where I'm coming from." Are you thoughts still the same?
Knittress Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Honestly, the only thing that can make this sort of thing feel better is the experience of having gone through it, feeling utter and abject misery, and then finding love again on the other side. Since this is your first... well, cling to the hope that OTHER people have been through this and found happiness, even rejoiced at losing their previous love, because of the entirely awesome person that was waiting for them in the future. ::sigh:: That's what I'm doing.
skydiveaddict Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 This is her exact text. "I just wanna be friends right now. I can't take the pressure I'm being out under fir everything lately. I just can't deal with a relationship right now even though I ****ing love you. It hurts me as much as it hurts you but it is the right thing and you know it. It can change in the future but as of right now it's really hard for me and I just need alone time. I wish you'd understand where I'm coming from." Are you thoughts still the same? No they are even more reinforced. You are in the deadly, inescapable "friendzone" Dont do this to yourself. move on. And for pete's sake dont try to be her 'friend". You will only hurt worse
USMCHokie Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 This is her exact text. "I just wanna be friends right now. [i don't want to date you anymore] I can't take the pressure I'm being out under fir everything lately. [This was the best excuse I could come up with] I just can't deal with a relationship right now even though I ****ing love you. [This long distance stuff is starting to get old, and I am meeting so many new guys that I would rather date closer to where I live] It hurts me as much as it hurts you but it is the right thing and you know it. [i have been thinking about this for a while now, so I was prepared for the breakup and it doesn't hurt me as much as it hurts you] It can change in the future [i want to keep you around in case I can't find anyone better] but as of right now it's really hard for me and I just need alone time. [i'd rather date someone else, so don't please leave me alone] I wish you'd understand where I'm coming from. [again, I wish you'd leave me alone]" Are you thoughts still the same? Yes. The answer is still exactly the same. Even more so. For your reference, I have included what her text really says in the quoted passage above. No contact. Move on. Find someone worth your time and affection.
skydiveaddict Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Yes. The answer is still exactly the same. Even more so. For your reference, I have included what her text really says in the quoted passage above. No contact. Move on. Find someone worth your time and affection. agreed. You MUST do this for your own sanity
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