SeriousMan Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 13th day of no contact. Felling really down, lots of memories in my head, anyway, no chance that I call her, not a chance! But it's so hard, 5 years she loved me and now we are more than strangers, cant't get it. Why it has to be that hard... I'm strong and I'm drunk, but that's not gonna change the situiation. I'm not gonna call her, but I miss her so much. She was my life, my hope and my future. It was so long ago when I was alone, and I know, I was in bigger trouble in my life, but it's not easy at all. I'll go through this I know, I'll get over her, but why it has to be that way. Once she realizes how special I was to her I'll be moved on already. Why it has to be that way? Why?
jerrytodd Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 It sucks, no question about it. I am sorry about your loss here. Keep up the NC, it is your best option under all circumstances. Time will heal - keep posting here and you will feel better. I am 17 days NC and I feel much better. Good luck
kimbop Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 I'm so sorry. It sucks when people reach into your chest, pull out your pumping heart and squeeze the living life out of it. It happens and life goes on, right? The sun shines in the morning, and people on the streets are still inane. Just hang on. Keep it there.
pureinheart Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 So sorry you have to hurt so bad...NC is hard, although it can be done. I'm in about a week or more, haven't kept track. I've been in NC with this individual before, although I get sucked back in everytime, I guess I think things will be different...they won't and never will be.
Dragon_Lady Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 I have found when the NC gets the better of me I type out emails to the Ex... send them to myself... then delete them without re-reading... sometimes it helps get those feelings and emotions out of ones head and be able to move on to the next day... word of caution however... BE SURE TO ADDRESS MAIL TO YOURSELF BEFORE STARTING THE NOTE...
lizeytish Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 I'm so sorry, I am on my first day so I completely understand how you are feeling. Just hang in there and things will get better. Try just looking on one of the free dating sites like plenty of fish. I understand you may not be ready to date but it does let you understand that there are other people out there who would probally treat you better.
Author SeriousMan Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 Thank you all for the support and for the understanding! There are days that are more hard than others, especially weekends. Anyways I'm keeping my NC, it's the only way for me to feel better again and whatever it costs me I'll manage not to make a call. Maybe I'll post my story, not decided yet, not wanting to write it down and going with my mind trough it again yet. Time takes time, but sometimes it's really hard. It's a challenge, I wonder to see is there a prize at the end.
oneheart Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 don't think I can add to this much from what's been said.... but for when you need one here is a *hug* from someone who is going through all the same questions.... if only... why... I should have... maybe if I... I could have said.... etc etc. 'm sure you tried your best already, I know I did and it wasn't right..... *hug* stick the kettle on and some music and look forward! You're doing great!
Author SeriousMan Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 22 days of NC. suddenly today I had a break down. I don't know why, the day begun just like that, with that sad feeling. I was good for a week, but today all kind of thoughts entered in my head: what she is doing, did she thinks of me, is she sad or happy? Late that day it reached it's peak and for an hour I was very sad with tears. What is that, i keep myself busy, working out 2-3 times a week, seeing friends, going out whole weekend and have fun. Don't get me wrong here, even for a moment I didn't had a rush to call or contact her in any way, just a very sad feeling and missing her a lot. Thank you for reading my post, i needed to vent a little, whoooaa!
EYECANDY000 Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 22 days of NC. suddenly today I had a break down. I don't know why, the day begun just like that, with that sad feeling. I was good for a week, but today all kind of thoughts entered in my head: what she is doing, did she thinks of me, is she sad or happy? Late that day it reached it's peak and for an hour I was very sad with tears. What is that, i keep myself busy, working out 2-3 times a week, seeing friends, going out whole weekend and have fun. Don't get me wrong here, even for a moment I didn't had a rush to call or contact her in any way, just a very sad feeling and missing her a lot. Thank you for reading my post, i needed to vent a little, whoooaa! Seriousman, I'm sorry honey.. Keep posting on here whenever you feel the need to vent. Post on here when you are having a weak moment, everyone is here to uplift one another. It has been 8 days now of NC for me. And I can tell you each day will get a little bit more easer. Before this I went 2 weeks of NC and broke down on the 15th day. Just like you I woke up in a slump. I battled myself back and forth wheather I should call or not. Finally I texted and asked what did I do so wrong to deserve so much hurt? We spoke for a few days but it didn't end on a good note. Clearly I wasn't able to just be friends as he wanted. And so like I stated its been a hard 8 days. But I have friends who I talk to. I post on here a lot more, and I have a phrase that I say to myself every time I am having a weak moment. Hopefully you can see that you aren't the only one experiencing hurt and pain. Please focus on yourself ....
Author SeriousMan Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 So it must get better with time, but last few days were not so good. Miss her a lot I'm around 25 days NC. So just give me some support here, is NC really the only way for me in this situation. After the break up I was needy and begging. After that I become more stable and give her support during his guilt feelings. Then I try to support her and tried to be her friend for a 1-2 months. Then I decided that I'm not ok with this situation and it hurts me to see her like "friend". So on my birthday I said very politely to her that I don't want to hear or see her because it's very hard for me and I need to continue with my life. I was not angry nor needy. I said that I love her and can't be her friend. She said: Ok if something is going to happen between us it's going to happen anyway. She also said that if something changes she will contact me but then I said that I will not answer her. Then we both said good buy and that was it. I really want her back but FIRST I want to heal myself completely and then to decide again. After our breakup I was always the good fella' that was trying to support her guilt feelings for dumping me. It was a mistake right? Is this the only path for me to feel better? I want to feel normal again.
saraxlindsay Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I know how it feels SeriousMan I am on day 7 of NC. Its really hard to not text or call or message on facebook when I am so used to doing it daily. I wake up every morning looking forward to the good morning text, but it never comes. I know it will get easier, for both of us, we just gotta keep being strong, but NC is definitly the way to go.
Galneon Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 (edited) SeriousMan, I've been exactly where you are once before and now I'm going through it again. Earlier this month marks the second time we've broken up and I'm absolutely devastated, again. I consider this girl to be my soul mate and still do. I don't have a lot of time for many details or a lengthy reply right now but I just wanted to let you know above all else, you need to keep your head up. I know things seem grim (putting it mildly) right now but the best thing that you can do for your situation is to self-evaluate and work on you. The most important thing at this stage is progression. Keep with the NC, you couldn't be more right on that front. I know some days/moments are more definitely more difficult than others but don't give in to the "weak moment". If you give in and break NC you will regret it, you can bank on it. I don't need to know what your exact situation is to tell you it's possible this is not over. Getting her back one day is not out of the question if you play your cards right. For now, its imperative that you give her plenty of space. Make her miss you. By doing these things you will let her know your life continues (in a positive way) weather she's with you or not. That in itself is an attractive quality. As tough as it is you're building character through these trials and you will become a better person because of it. Stay strong. Edited March 3, 2010 by Galneon
Author SeriousMan Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 (edited) Is it normal that after almost 30 days of NC, I broke down with tears and so, so alone, please someone with more experience write to me. 30 days is a lot of time, why I'm feeling so down right now, is this normal at all? Any opinions would be appreciated, thank you very much in advance, I'm having really bad time these days... Thanks for support and understanding right now, it's very hard period for me... How much time must pass to star feeling really better. Thanks guys for all your support and courage!!! I miss her SO much, but I'm stuck to NC!!! Edited March 6, 2010 by SeriousMan
jerrytodd Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Is it normal that after almost 30 days of NC, I broke down with tears and so, so alone, please someone with more experience write to me. 30 days is a lot of time, why I'm feeling so down right now, is this normal at all? Any opinions would be appreciated, thank you very much in advance, I'm having really bad time these days... Thanks for support and understanding right now, it's very hard period for me... How much time must pass to star feeling really better. Thanks guys for all your support and courage!!! I miss her SO much, but I'm stuck to NC!!! I am in day 32 N/C. I feel 100 times better than day 1 but I was close to tears many times, even last weekend. Songs tend to do it. The resentment I have is enormous and it has overtaken hurt. I think you are doing great - question -- can you find someone romantic or even quasi-romantic to be in your life? I think that helps a lot. A person of the opposite sex, even if not romantic, is a great resource. Just dont talk to them about your ex in a "I am missing her so much way".
aimchase Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 There's a LS contributor called 'LisaUK' who went 9 months NC and was still in a living hell, missing her ex. Thankfully, she looks to finally be moving on, but it hit her pretty bad. It varies from person to person and you can't force yourself to progress quicker than you're ready to. 30 days is not a long time, it's still early days. Keep on the same path and you will get there, I promise. Aim
Author SeriousMan Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 (edited) 61 days of NC. Just want to share with you guys about my progress. Last month was much better than the first one. I'm going out a lot, seeing friends, go to the clubs and bars, not drinking a lot but just to have fun. Working out 3 times a week, make a long walks everyday (downtown area), watching movies, reading here on LS a lot. How do I feel? I think about her everyday, but I'm not sad anymore, I don't cry. Slowly I start to forget what was to be with her, it's more and more like an unreal memory. I miss her a lot from time to time, but that won't bring me down, I just miss some situations that we have. On the rainy days it's not so much fun but it's not so bad also. Few days ago was her birthday, weeks before that I was wondering what to do, should I text her or not. On the B-Day I just knew what i want to do. I did nothing! And that was so right and natural feeling. That day was the same as others for me. I see and talk to other girls. I had a several chances to have sex with some of them, but I didn't do it. Not because I miss my ex, but It just not the time. It was 4 months for me without being intimate with someone and I feel that this is going to change very soon. I intentionally did not rush to do it, I think it's better that way and some time to pass from the break up, otherwise I will compare everything with my ex. Right now I still want her back, BUT I want some more time for myself. I know that if I will be with her again it need to be at least after 6 months or year. It's just the way I feel right now. I want her back but I don't want her right now. Very strange. I just feel this is the right thing. I know that after several months I may don't want her anymore. Anyways that's how I see things now So that was what's going on last month. I think that everything is going to be better and better. Will see. I just want to keep some sort of track and record here for the guys who feels really bad from recent break ups, just like me in the beginning. There is HOPE. The time helps, but it's not easy, even now, but it gets better and better. The last time I was broken for a week (around 30th day of NC). Very bad week. I let myself to cry and be sad for that week. Since then things are way better. So if you need you should let yourself to suffer for some time. Letting it out it's for good when you're sad and when you want to cry. Good luck to all, and keep the faith. I will update my thread regulary. I'll make it some sort of NC diary, for me, and for others that are going on the same path. Edited April 8, 2010 by SeriousMan
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