How do I know he likes the REAL me, and not just the girl he put on the pedestal??

[conehead]

In many past experiences, a guy will get attached to me and go ga ga for me within just WEEKS or even DAYS of meeting me. I always thought this was great, but now I realized that these guys have put me on a pedestal (I think partly due to the fact that I'm pretty, educated, have a great job, cute personality and sense of humor) and like what they think is the perfect me only.

 

After just a few months ofcourse I fall hard off this pedestal and get my heart broken. I will love the guy for him, flaws and all, but the guy rarely seems to be the same way with me. How can I tell if a guy likes me for the real me vs their image of me so that I don't end up wasting months on them to only find out they've just put me on a pedestal the whole time??

 

What are some of the signs I can look at?

 

Should I then avoid dating guys who go gaga over me so quickly and only date guys who just like me 'somewhat' from the beginning and grow to like me more later? Or is this not a great idea?

[conehead]

I guess my basic question is...

 

How do I differentiate a guy who likes me but isn't putting me on a pedestal? vs a guy who just isn't into me?

[amagordos]

I don't know how you can tell. Maybe it's because you put your guard down and those guys get frightened by that. It's not your fault, though, it's just that wasn't meant to be. I think if you just continue dating and exploring, you will eventually find someone who really likes you for you and not for what you represent. You should be friends too, because if someone you are dating doesn't like you as a person, he might never like you as a girl.

[TheWatcher]

I always thought this was great, but now I realized that these guys have put me on a pedestal (I think partly due to the fact that I'm pretty, educated, have a great job, cute personality and sense of humor)

 

Don't forget modest...you're also modest.

[betamanlet]

When men put women on pedestals, they aren't a challenge, hence boring. Are you losing interest in him for this reason?

[FreeNow]

I guess my basic question is...

 

How do I differentiate a guy who likes me but isn't putting me on a pedestal? vs a guy who just isn't into me?

 

Time is the only way to tell.