stayingtrue Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Let me start by saying, my wife and I have been married for 12 years and together for over 22 years. The last few years we have been going thru what I call a dry spell. We both gained a lot of weight and we would go to work and stay home watch movies hardly go out or anything. Of course this also applied to the sex life, almost none existent. Well for the last year my wife has gone threw some changes, she joined a weight lost clinic and has lost a lot of weight; she also has started to dress a little sexier and at time’s a lot sexier. I have encouraged it all because she was starting to feel better about her self, then back in late November she started asking to go out with some girlfriends. I knew them and thought sure I will stay home watch the kids and you go have fun, (she was also starting to show signs of excitement in the bedroom) this happened for about 5 Saturday’s not in a row but almost every other. Anyway she would come home drunk and one time she was DD and came home sober but still in a good mood. But one Saturday in early January she came home and slept down stairs on the couch, She was hung over most of the day. Long story short two weeks later I get a call from my nephew saying that she went home with some guy we all know that night after the bar. I get home confront her she denys it and then later after admits to it but claims she only maid out no sex. She was unhappy and wanted out. Then we started the ball rolling to separate, and started talking one thing lead too another and we decided to try and work it out. Then a week goes by and I find on her computer that she has been talking to men that she met online threw ADULT-dating sites (Ashley Madison). I should say that for years my wife was a prude, she will not look at nudity talk about sex anything like that, would talk down about women who were sexual and show it, so when I found this, I was shocked again. Of course when I confronted here on this she back pedaled and said it was before then I was just curious, that sort of stuff. So after days of talking we decided to try and keep working things out, at this point I asked for complete honesty and offered for us try what ever she needed to find what she was getting from talking to these men. A few days later I find that she was on other sites ( Adultfreindfinder ) and find she has like three or four secret emails. Know again we talk she claims she has not cheated or met any of these men but what too believe. She claims that she closed the accounts on the websites and that she is not using the emails but when I asked for passwords and to see the emails she got very angry and said that I would misunderstand what I would read. After going down stairs and coming back she had opened one up and of course deleted stuff and said go ahead and look. Then I find out that one of the guys that she has talked too for about a week or so she know calls a friend and gave him here real name and put him on facebook. Am I just being a fool for staying and trying to believe her or am I doing the right thing. I am lost and getting more confused every day? Any input from Men or Women would be appreciated. Thanks
aerogurl87 Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I think she's cheating on you. And once a person cheats on a person, you can almost be certain they will cheat on that person again if they take them back.
ann09 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 God I hate the internet and these dating sites and Ashley Madison crap. It sounds like she's going through a stage - but not one you should be expected to support. Guaranteed she will wake up in a few years and say to herself, "what the hell happened to me?" Again, not saying you should stick by her. She's lost weight - getting attention from men - and living off that high. No marriage will work without 100% trust. And you don't and shouldn't trust her. But if she was willing and able to sleep with you - and seems to love you - I am sad for her because she is making a grave mistake.
BserBuff Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Man I feel for you. Im much younger than you and am so afraid that my gf of eight yrs will make the same mistake later down the road. I think if she still wont b completely honest after you have given her several chances then u should just leave. I know its hard to hear, im currently in denial but i think its best that way.
nowomanocry Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 I am sorry mate But if all those things that your wife do don't float your boat then the time has come for you to move on. All my best
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