Lucky555 Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 I told the guy i am seeing i wouldnt be able to see him this weekend. However, things changed and I was able to so I asked him if we could get together. Well he said he was not sure because he was busy during the week. I told him to let me know. Days went by and I got no response from him. He has not initiated contact for four days now. I feel like he is "disappearing" but will reappear maybe in a few days and tell me how "busy" he was. I think its time to talk to him and let him know he maybe just too busy for me in his life. However, I know people do sometimes get busy but the fact that he did not ever get back to me shows me i am a low priority. Will this be how he will be in the future? I can't deal with someone like that does this. Another part of me says he is trying to slow things down. How can I bring this up tactfully?
You'reasian Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 I told the guy i am seeing i wouldnt be able to see him this weekend. However, things changed and I was able to so I asked him if we could get together. Well he said he was not sure because he was busy during the week. I told him to let me know. Days went by and I got no response from him. He has not initiated contact for four days now. I feel like he is "disappearing" but will reappear maybe in a few days and tell me how "busy" he was. I think its time to talk to him and let him know he maybe just too busy for me in his life. However, I know people do sometimes get busy but the fact that he did not ever get back to me shows me i am a low priority. Will this be how he will be in the future? I can't deal with someone like that does this. Another part of me says he is trying to slow things down. How can I bring this up tactfully? Any conversation worth having should be done face to face, preferably at that persons home. Tell him that the frequency that he communicates with you makes you feel like a low priority to him. Give examples. Listen to his response. Engage in conversation. Tell him what you need.
BG1985 Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Exactly how serious are y'all? Are y'all exclusive? "Seeing" someone is vague and does not imply a committed relationship in my opinion.
Author Lucky555 Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 Exactly how serious are y'all? Are y'all exclusive? "Seeing" someone is vague and does not imply a committed relationship in my opinion. we are exclusive. its a month and half being together. about a month since the exclusivity talk.
carhill Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Personally, I'd just take a chill pill. It's still early. His actions reflect his intent. Initially you were busy this weekend. That's changed. He's aware. If he's interested, he'll act. This presumes you are not sexually active. If you are, that changes things. A guy who's too busy to get his noodle wet bears scrutiny
Shocke Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 I wouldn't take it serious, since you guys are dating still. You have to also remember you said you wouldn't be able to see him and after that you changed your mind. There is a possibility that he might think you are playing with him a little bit, so he is playing your game.
Author Lucky555 Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 it seems like i am a low priority in his life. I am going to let him contact me because I feel like he needs to take some action if he is still interested. I sent him a vday card and he just said thanks..not even wishing me a happy v-day. I actually contacted him to see if he got it. Since he and I have become exclusive he has been trying less. Its like he doesn't need to try anymore. It could also be this: the past few times i have been with him he has made me leave first thing in the morning. WOW, that hurt. So the last time i was with him I knew he would make sure i leave in the morning....so I got dressed and told him i would hurry up so he could get going, (kinda sarcastic). Then the following time i told him I had things to do and i was leaving (he wanted me to leave as usual) and i said thanks for collecting my stuff, (sarcastic again). I think partly he is still annoyed by this. I think he viewed it as being disrespectful. However, I'm not going to be treated like a doormat or get used. When ever he wanted me to leave he would get a "tone" and treat me like i wasn't supposed to be there. ouch. I think he is afraid of losing me so he just keeps busy and quiet so that he can keep me around and i would have no reason to say goodbye. So the next step is i will wait for him to contact me. He may be hurt by what i said every time i left but its not fair to just make me leave. Its like he wants to be "single" but have a "relationship" he has to choose one or the other.
oneheart Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 I think you do need to talk to him about this. In my expereince (which has so far never ended happily! although I mean a couple of years on not a couple of months) every relationship seems to have it's own natural pace. If you're frustrated about contact you need to tell him and clarification about how he feels things are going, priorites etc... If I was you... I'd be very disappointed in his behaviour too! And very peed off about leaving so quick in the morning.. though... you do have to communicate that with an "I feel..." rather than sarchasm. It sounds like it may be a brave step to have a serious talk and say I feel in this situation..... but it sounds like it needs to be done. Good luck!
Author Lucky555 Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 I think you do need to talk to him about this. In my expereince (which has so far never ended happily! although I mean a couple of years on not a couple of months) every relationship seems to have it's own natural pace. If you're frustrated about contact you need to tell him and clarification about how he feels things are going, priorites etc... If I was you... I'd be very disappointed in his behaviour too! And very peed off about leaving so quick in the morning.. though... you do have to communicate that with an "I feel..." rather than sarchasm. It sounds like it may be a brave step to have a serious talk and say I feel in this situation..... but it sounds like it needs to be done. Good luck! Although he said he "cares" his actions are not very caring!!!! Thanks for acknowledging my problems because it really helps me to have confidence in what i am going to tell him. Maybe i shouldn't use sarcasm but he knows exactly what he is doing. I feel like i can't really trust him if he acts totally different when i leave. At the time I was subtly letting him know I know he is making me leave and I'm not happy with the situation. A talk is in order.....thanks
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