FabulousLadee Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 I just want to say that if you're in a LDR and you all talk everyday, visit frequently, and your SO continuously does whatever they can to reassure you that they love you, cherish you, and also officially will or wants you to move or they will move to be with you......... DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!! DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!!!Because some of us out here..are in love with JERKS!!! Have a GREAT weekend!!!
Els Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 FL, I'm sorry for what you're going through. I think most of us aren't fortunate enough to have every single thing that you listed up there, though. For me at least, the visit frequently part is definitely out. Still, I'm doing my best everyday not to take it for granted. Unfortunately, it takes not one, but two people to realize that, for it to make a great impact.
Author FabulousLadee Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 (edited) Thanks Elswyth! I've just had it. I haven't even talked to him about how I'm feeling because he is at a conference for law students right now and won't be back to his school until Sunday so... everytime I've talked to him since our visit which was last weekend Feb 13th..I have been peaceful and calm like nothing is wrong and I'm trying to hold out..I'm trying. I haven't heard from him at all since yesterday for 5 meesly minutes around 12 noon 24 hours ago..going on 48 hours. I cant get a TEXT message!! This is stupid and so not fair!! I feel like he has been pimping me...I really do. But oooooooooooohhhhhhhhh...when Monday-Tuesday comes..I'm dropping the bomb on his ass. I'm just tired!!!!!! I deserve better and I'm not going another year through this..no direction/no security...I can't do it!! Edited February 19, 2010 by FabulousLadee
hoping2heal Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Fabulous, Not to kick you while you're down but I have to wonder. I remember when you first posted about meeting and immediately you jumped to the conclusion "That's it! We're done! It's over!" Simply because you jumped the gun when he didn't react in a certain way; even though clearly he wanted a relationship as here he is umpteen months later. You do tend have an heir of extremes in your posts when you are upset. Why specifically do you feel the relationship has no direction or security? Secondly, Okay so there are times you go with little to no contact for a few days; I know that is frustrating BUT is he out with friends and partying it up, socialising away during those times or is he bogged down? There is quite a difference. My SO and I talk pretty much every day 95% of the time. There have been rare exceptions to that over the last 14 months but he isn't out playing footsie and kicking up his heels during those times. He is working straight through, everytime, period. So, what is the deal with your man? What would it take for you to feel secure and like there is direction in your RS that you are not getting now?
You'reasian Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 I just want to say that if you're in a LDR and you all talk everyday, visit frequently, and your SO continuously does whatever they can to reassure you that they love you, cherish you, and also officially will or wants you to move or they will move to be with you......... DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!! DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!!!Because some of us out here..are in love with JERKS!!! Have a GREAT weekend!!! you mean how well the other person kisses shouldn't be a dealbreaker? and that trying to love, cherish and communicate matter?? I kid. Excellent message here. Thanks!
zebracolors Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 I know I am late to this topic had to collect my thoughts on it. But I have to agree with FL. Any of you who have the chance to physically be with the ones you love, you know that you wouldn't want to take anything about them for granted, because the process of getting to where you can be with them was much more difficult than couples who get to be together right at the start. Their voice, the way it feels when they hug you, kiss you, or hold you. The little things that people so often take for granted in a relationship.
Els Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I agree that one of the most wonderful things LDR has done was to teach me how precious the gift of a relationship is, and how to be willing to fight for it. Sometimes it just irks the hell outta me when people act like it's the end of the world when their SO proposes to them and buys a ring they dislike. Or gets them flowers they don't really like for Valentine's Day. Or... well, you get my drift. People like that have no idea how lucky they really are in the first place, and would never survive a LDR.
Sadgati Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I agree that one of the most wonderful things LDR has done was to teach me how precious the gift of a relationship is, and how to be willing to fight for it. Sometimes it just irks the hell outta me when people act like it's the end of the world when their SO proposes to them and buys a ring they dislike. Or gets them flowers they don't really like for Valentine's Day. Or... well, you get my drift. People like that have no idea how lucky they really are in the first place, and would never survive a LDR. I understand what you mean. Some people are definitely not grateful for the flowers or... I even think it is great if he sees some pretty wildflowers growing along the side of the road and stops and picks me some. It means he saw something pretty and was thinking of me, and those flowers are absolutely precious to me!
Els Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Agreed, Sadgati. I would have been happy if he had even been around for Valentine's Day in the first place.
Meaplus3 Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I just want to say that if you're in a LDR and you all talk everyday, visit frequently, and your SO continuously does whatever they can to reassure you that they love you, cherish you, and also officially will or wants you to move or they will move to be with you......... DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!! DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!!!Because some of us out here..are in love with JERKS!!! Have a GREAT weekend!!! I'm real sorry to hear about how your feeling. I magine that an LDR can be very tough. I think for me.. what would make all the diff in the world would be to know there was a plan in the near future for one to move to be with the other? Have you two talked about this? Do you think it's possible? I feel for you. Hang in there. Mea:)
Citizen Erased Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 I just want to say that if you're in a LDR and you all talk everyday, visit frequently, and your SO continuously does whatever they can to reassure you that they love you, cherish you, and also officially will or wants you to move or they will move to be with you......... DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!! DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!!!Because some of us out here..are in love with JERKS!!! Have a GREAT weekend!!! Why are you with him? If I considered the guy I was with to be a jerk, I wouldn't be with him, that's an awful way to think about the person you love. He may very well be...so again, why are you with him?
Mei Mei Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 In a LDR, we always take it for granted the need for regular communication to develop trust and demonstrate commitment in a relationship. We dont take it for granted that anyone can do less in building and strengthening the relationship for good! So unless for reasons that he has communicated to you for your clear comprehension, or any special issue has happened that he cant talk to you immediately, I think if it is a real neglect of your feeling would be a red flag that you need to look into. But do also reflect upon your own character carefully to find if you are easily get swung by sense of insecurity? It it is so, this will surel make you suffer a lot in a LDR. Best wishes for good!:bunny:
Author FabulousLadee Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 Before I said anything to him I wanted to let this weekend go by just to see how he would communicate. From Thursday to Sunday..4 DAYS..I talked to him a total of 30 seconds. I tried calling him 3 times out of the course of the 4 days..no answer. I got 2 texts..one of them said "hey" The other one was after I sent him a text telling him that I'm not calling or texting anymore. He replied "I'm sorry baby..I know I have been out of touch..please forgive me" I didn't reply and I'm not going to reply. I feel like it's bullcrap and I believe that you can NEVER be too busy for someone you're in love with. There are exceptions but come ooooooon!!! And if you're so sorry..WHY can't you CALL and talk to me about it?! It's so stupid and immature. His interest is obviously not with me..that's the bottom line. I'm tired of wasting my emotions, time, and money on someone who could care less.
nowomanocry Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Yer, u r right, if u sense a change in the way / frequency of contact nothing can know this better than you.. If you feel this way, to a great possibility you are right, I think you should be prepared for that heartbreaking moment so that you do not get shocked I'm sorry peeps but I agree with FAbladee,,, it is so not difficult giving her a ring and asking how shes doin' even for a min. Take care
Panov Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Well maybe he is REALLY busy.. but don't jump to conclusions yet, people who are involved with being a lawyer are pretty busy. But then again I'm sure he can call you for a little bit to let you know how he's doing and have a little conversation from time to time. But I understand how you feel, it's difficult to not communicate with someone you love especially in a LDR. If you really want to be done with it, go ahead.
nowomanocry Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Panov >> yeh, pressing the recorded number takes a sec, 10 secs for ringing till she picks up and 1 min convo all adds up to 1,11 min lmao
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