Marek Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 I've been seeing a psychologist for the past 3 weeks and it's not going too well. Firstly, in my opinion, this woman is rather unprofessional. I can't help but feel that she is trying to further undermine my self-confidence with implied insults. At the end of our sessions, I come out feeling worse about myself. These so-called "professionals" espouse the mental well-being of people, yet they do nothing but rub salt on the wounds of the emotionally fragile, so to speak. Psychologists are nothing more than couch potatoes who were too stupid to achieve in the "hard sciences" such as Calculus and Chemistry to become medical doctors practicing psychiatry. They've got university degrees in talking and nothing more. What a waste of money this has been. (And no, I've seen another psychologist some years ago who displayed much of the same traits as my current one, so it's not just a one-off incident.)
carhill Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 In therapy, fit is key. With that fit, the first tenant is wanting the therapy to help one change their life and/or perspective in a positive and healthy way. Are you ready for deep and potentially painful introspection? If not, the therapy process will not work for you, regardless of the style of the therapist. Interview another psychologist. Two disparate experiences should not engender an indictment of an entire profession. I fired many doctors (medical doctors) before finding a good fit when caring for my mother, as an example. They weren't a got fit for us, but we finally found one. My stbx and I were fortunate that our MC was a good fit and he came well recommended by a client who is a psychologist. Keep looking
Author Marek Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 In therapy, fit is key. With that fit, the first tenant is wanting the therapy to help one change their life and/or perspective in a positive and healthy way. Are you ready for deep and potentially painful introspection? If not, the therapy process will not work for you, regardless of the style of the therapist. Interview another psychologist. Two disparate experiences should not engender an indictment of an entire profession. I fired many doctors (medical doctors) before finding a good fit when caring for my mother, as an example. They weren't a got fit for us, but we finally found one. My stbx and I were fortunate that our MC was a good fit and he came well recommended by a client who is a psychologist. Keep looking You're right -- fit is key. However, even though I've only seen two psychologists, I feel that every other pyschologist will be the same; it's not just these two psychologists that I don't "fit" with, but rather virtually everyone in the medical profession and society as a whole: my general practioner, nurses, radiologists, etc. And in general society it's much the same, although every-day people are often more direct with their insults as they don't have to account to professionalism; these so-called "professionals" use implied insults, and then if I challenge them on the matter, they invariably tell that I'm "hypersensitive" and suffer from "social paranoia".
carhill Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Without going into details, I can tell you our MC was very challenging to both of us, causing us both to reflect upon our actions and perspectives as autonomous human beings as well as marital partners. He also had a way of managing that journey so each session ended on a positive note. It was a process I came to respect and see as valuable; taking negatives and finding a positive outcome and/or potential for each. I'm sure my stbx has her own opinion of the MC process and our MC, but it was her client who recommended him . TBH, once I accepted that I am hypersensitive, I could begin work on using that aspect of my personality in a positive and more socially acceptable manner, instead of fighting reality and asserting that others, including stbx, were 'wrong'. Embracing the differences, understanding compatibility of those differences and concurrent similarities, and accepting others (stbx) for who they are, not who I wanted them to be, were key to growing in the process. It can change how you view and interact with the world. Is that good? Unclear. At the end of life, I'll look back and let you know
GrayClouds Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 You're right -- fit is key. However, even though I've only seen two psychologists, I feel that every other pyschologist will be the same; it's not just these two psychologists that I don't "fit" with, but rather virtually everyone in the medical profession and society as a whole: my general practioner, nurses, radiologists, etc. And in general society it's much the same, although every-day people are often more direct with their insults as they don't have to account to professionalism; these so-called "professionals" use implied insults, and then if I challenge them on the matter, they invariably tell that I'm "hypersensitive" and suffer from "social paranoia". Could both of these psychologist be correct and possible you be wrong. You suggestion that since two have been bad psychologists, all will be bad. You go on to say not just them but virtually everyone in the medical profession and society as a whole leave the one constant being you. So is it all of psychology, medical profession and society as a whole that is the problem or could it be the one constant being you. I suspect your critique on their professionalism is a defense mechanism to avoid really dealing with the issue you want to work through. Has much as it may be a struggle to hear what they are saying give your self a chance and see where they take you. It may be very helpful. I wish you well.
whichwayisup Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Sometimes it just takes a while to find the right person. When I was at my worst (anxiety disorder) I tried 2 before I found one Therpist who I connected with and trusted immediately. Don't give up..
Ross PK Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Tell her where to get off, and see someone else.
Meaplus3 Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 I have run into a few humdingers myself. Took me two, and then the third one was the charm. The first one told me one thing you have.. blah, blah. blah. Then I told the second one what the first one said and she did not agree at all. It was like a circus act. So, a little therapist shopping might be in order here. Sorry your going through this. Mea:)
skydiveaddict Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 (edited) I much prefer Psychiatrists. They can dispensed drugs if you're suffering from depression and the like. I went to see one after I got back from Afghanistan, I was very depressed, a few sessions and some meds and I was feeling much better. I don't know why so many people shy away from meds when it comes to this sort of thing. They really can be a huge help. Edited February 20, 2010 by skydiveaddict
zebracolors Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 That's when you just hop on the bus and talk to the guy sitting next to you. It's free and he might have better advice. I hope that managed to give you even just a little chuckle or even a grin.
Angel1111 Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 I totally respect the psychology profession but, yeah, there are some nuts out there. Sometimes I think some of them have worse issues than their patients. It sounds like there's something about you that triggers issues for this woman. You need to disappear and never go back to her. You shouldn't be paying someone to make you feel worse. That's pretty much the last thing you need.
threebyfate Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 (edited) Marek, just like the medical profession, there are people who are qualified and others who aren't quite so qualified, as well as finding someone you mesh with. It's no more or less difficult than finding a good GP or specialist. After D-day with the ex's cheating, I went for a little under two months, with the most amazing therapist, who was credentialled up her ying-yang and yet, was very down-to-earth, pragmatic, an excellent listener, as well as able to zero in on the areas that were significant. We literally clicked the moment I walked in the door. Something about her just screamed competence, empathy and trustworthiness. Can't explain it but right out the gate, I told her everything, got everything out there, over the sessions. How I found her was from recommendations from people who I highly respected, who found her fantastic. And she was all that and more. So, if you ever decide it might be time again to see a therapist, ask around to people you trust, who you respect their opinions about others. Check on their credentials and experience level. Decades and diversity of experience with different techniques, help greatly. Also, remember they're not a miracle cure. They help you figure out your coping tools. Whether you choose to apply what you've learned will be your own hard work. But for certain, don't scrimp on the number of session, if you can afford not to. Too few sessions can result in the therapy not sticking, potentially due to a lack of time for full information disclosure. Edited February 20, 2010 by threebyfate
pureinheart Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 sorry about my last reply having pc prblems and needed to check posting ability
carhill Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Not an indicator of general effect, but I didn't start seeing significant progress (that stuck) until around the eighth month of ~3/mo sessions, so over 20 sessions. In all, I probably spent over 4K on MC and it was money well spent. That's less than 14 hours of lawyer's fees (at my lawyer's rate), which would've quickly disappeared in a contested divorce and I'd have been no better off emotionally or psychologically.
GrayClouds Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Not an indicator of general effect, but I didn't start seeing significant progress (that stuck) until around the eighth month of ~3/mo sessions, so over 20 sessions. In all, I probably spent over 4K on MC and it was money well spent. That's less than 14 hours of lawyer's fees (at my lawyer's rate), which would've quickly disappeared in a contested divorce and I'd have been no better off emotionally or psychologically. Carhill just want to say thank you for being so open, it takes courage.
torranceshipman Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 (edited) I agree with you Marek. Some strands of psychology are just pseudo-science (that is fact, not opinion-simple research mthodology tells us this), and a lot of psychoanalysis etc seems to consist of a lot of crass generalizations with no empirical basis. I've had a couple of friends who wer psychoanalysts who would pass comments about why they thought I did one thing or another and it was so off base it was completely ridiculous. Actually they were two quite neurotic individuals and could never understand my mindset. I think generalizations and being presumptuous that they knew a heck of a lot more than they actually did were things they were more comfortable with. Saying that though, I know a lot of people genuinely really benefit from using a psych, so it can be a very valuable thing. Some, I am sure, can be really good-I'm not trying to write off the whole profession here! I think psychiatrists might be more reliable because they are more of a medical profession whereas psychoanalysis etc seems to be a bit on the wishy washy side, making methodological claims that it cant live up to. Edited February 22, 2010 by torranceshipman
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