willowfields Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 My mm went to court this morning, he's on one roller ride of emotions.
bittersweet memories Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 My mm went to court this morning, he's on one roller ride of emotions. Is he finally divorcing?
Author willowfields Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 Yes he is. Today was the first court date. He misses his boys so much. He told me yest mentally right now he's a mess. I have been leaving him alone unless he comes to me except for this morning I I'md him just to say I was thinking of him. I know he's not handling well. His boys are his life.
OWoman Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Yes he is. Today was the first court date. He misses his boys so much. He told me yest mentally right now he's a mess. I have been leaving him alone unless he comes to me except for this morning I I'md him just to say I was thinking of him. I know he's not handling well. His boys are his life. How old are they, and what are his prospects of custody?
Author willowfields Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 I'm actually surprised at how much at peace he is. He has another hearing in a couple of months. To all those questions you asked he will find out the answers then. He actually called Me after court. He also has a possible job offer to.
Author willowfields Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 my husband and i have been seperated for the last 6 months. now i have recently retained a lawyer.
Mino Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Now if I were you I would send him to counceling, while you do NC, the next step is for him to figure out his part in breaking down his marriage and cheating on his w. If he does not confront his part, and learn through this, he will only repeat his mistakes again, You dont want to wear the ex wifes shoes do you?
Author willowfields Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 i don't believe in once a cheater always a cheater. i trust him with all my heart. time will tell where we wind up and if we are meant to be. i have no regrets for having him in my life.
bittersweet memories Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 i don't believe in once a cheater always a cheater. i trust him with all my heart. time will tell where we wind up and if we are meant to be. i have no regrets for having him in my life. No doubt his wife thought the same thing, when she dated him and then married..
Mino Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 wouldnt it be nice to know he has taken responsibility and fixed what was wrong inside him to make a healthy partner for you? Its pretty naive to think he wont do it again, he has the cheating gene inside him, and they only way this will go away is to confront it, with therapy...
Author willowfields Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 you seem to think it was all his fault. he was driven to his actions.
Mino Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Oh no sweetie, i didnt say that, BUT he has 50 % Yup!, and he chose to have an A INSTEAD of being honest, He has issues , let me say, All I am saying is he needs to fix that part in himself so it wont happen again in the future. But I guess its much easier to blame the w, she was evil, I am sure.....
Author willowfields Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 there where circumstances that drove us together emotionally.
Fallen Angel Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Now if I were you I would send him to counceling, while you do NC, the next step is for him to figure out his part in breaking down his marriage and cheating on his w. If he does not confront his part, and learn through this, he will only repeat his mistakes again, You dont want to wear the ex wifes shoes do you? Why in the name of all that is good would she do that?? She and her MM have been through so much, and now when he is taking the steps to be with her you think she sould dump him and go NC?? lmaooooooooooooo.. that is the silliest thing I have ever heard. This is a man she loves, and they are taking steps towards being together, fully. To abandon him now is just plain dumb!!
Fallen Angel Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 No doubt his wife thought the same thing, when she dated him and then married.. Yep, but she was wrong, and willow just might be right!! *smile*
Mino Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Why in the name of all that is good would she do that?? She and her MM have been through so much, and now when he is taking the steps to be with her you think she sould dump him and go NC?? lmaooooooooooooo.. that is the silliest thing I have ever heard. This is a man she loves, and they are taking steps towards being together, fully. To abandon him now is just plain dumb!! Really silly you say? Well first of all like i have mentioned, mm does need to accept his part, secondly he needs therapy to fix the broke part of his soul, and the nc makes perfect sense, let him walk this journey alone, it will make him stronger, not leaning on ow, for god sake.... If they have a shot, they need a break, Im not saying for years, but at least 6 months. They can rebuild a new and healthy relationship on solid ground later. If they stay together now, it will have a huge failure rate, she is setting herself up for further pain, she needs to give this time, he is a big boy, let him grow up.
pureinheart Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Scorp...you are being onery again..... WF...first my heart goes out to both of you...all four of you...ok...what about the two of you going to councelling? You both have been through so much and I fear if the stuff is brought into your lives now...man... ExDM whenever he'd get desparate, like when I would walk, he'd play the councelling card as a smokescreen, although never followed through. I am a big fan of councelling as it saved my life. Good luck with everything.....
Author willowfields Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 scorp, that's why i left 6 months ago, because i did cheat and my husband didn't deserve that. yes i went home hoping i could make my marriage work. it was bad when i went home, neither of us where happy, i really realized i felt nothing for my husband. not an ounce of attraction, we where room mates. we never talked. i knew in my heart that we could not be together, hence the reason why i moved out the second time. the saying once a cheater always a cheater is not true.
Author willowfields Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 i was going to therapy. i went for a year because of my affair. i stopped going because it was too much money that i could not afford.
Author willowfields Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 First off I don't need to explain myself to you. My husband wanted me to come home. I felt I owed him that but realized it was not going to work. As far as broke. I have a very job. My ap and I don't live together. Its not what we want right now. We want to live our own lives with out having to answer to each other. We date when we want. He was never a one night stand. Get your facts straight.
Author willowfields Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 what do you have to say for yourself, the first time i moved home, my h does know of my affair. just not all the details, like how long, or his name. he knows i had one. our marraige would not work, so we went our seperate ways. my husband had a bunch of affairs during our marriage also. 4 to be exact. long before i ever had mine. he's no prince.i slept with one partner, he slept with many.
Author willowfields Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 no i never mentioned it, you are right, why because it really does not matter wether i told my husband or not. the reason for me telling him was because he told me of his affairs. yes and i was pregnant and had crazy emotions and mentioned my affair. you are a very bitter person, and i feel very sorry for you. i live my life with out having too many regrets. i live a life of not being too bitter.
Author willowfields Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 yes my therapist did say that, i never told her i told my husband, i wanted to see what she would say about the situation.she was right, there was nothing to gain by it, it was already too late.
fooled once Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 you seem to think it was all his fault. he was driven to his actions. This has to be one of the funniest things.....someone cannot MAKE another person do something. Did she have a gun to his head and told him he better cheat? To unzip his pants? No. He could have done many things, but to blame his wife for him cheating? That is very funny! Kinda like the devil made me do it? And you believe that it was HER fault that he cheated? You believe he didn't have free will, he didn't have control over himself? Maybe you two are perfect for each other. Sure hope you don't make him cheat too.
Author willowfields Posted February 21, 2010 Author Posted February 21, 2010 i trust him him110%. as i said before time will tell to see where we end up. right now we have a life of free will to do what we want.
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