Yogio Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 (edited) What have I lost? I told my partner that when i was with her i thought what it would be like with other women even though i was with her and i love her i ended our relationship because i want to go out and see other women. she has not spoken to me since then and has given all the things i brought her back to me as she says she can not look at them as it reminds her of me. when i was with her she was allways there for me and did everything for me even nursed me when i was ill and would walk to my place no matter what the weather was outside we never argued and she never raised her voice at me iv'e never had someone who cared so much about me and it felt strange. she would even do things i was ment to be doin so i could do other things she never complaind when i went out to see my friends or how much time i spent at work she was allways suportive of what i wanted to do. I even told her things about my self i could not tell anyone else and she kept them. I call her and she dose not awnser i txt her and i get no reply when i see her she ignores me and walks past like i am not even there and when i need her she is not by my side. She now wants nothing to do with me and has told me i have made her feel worthless and she cant be my friend. What do i do what have i dont to her to make her act like this. Edited February 18, 2010 by Yogio
Ilovecake Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 She sounds like a smart girl. Looks like you got exactly what you wanted and deserved. I don't see the problem.
Author Yogio Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 but i do not know what i have done wrong to make her act like this i told her the truth and now she wont have anything to do with me and part of me still wants her and i miss her so much but i want to go out and see what life is about yet i lost the best thing ever
MizzBella Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Yogio, It is often impossible to be friends with someone you love deeply. Even though you were honest, you still hurt her. She has a right to avoid you and move on. Just let her go if that is what she wants. Trying to force being in her life is like torturing her.
D-Lish Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 but i do not know what i have done wrong to make her act like this i told her the truth and now she wont have anything to do with me and part of me still wants her and i miss her so much but i want to go out and see what life is about yet i lost the best thing ever You have to know what you did... You can't expect to tell a good woman that she isn't good enough and then go on to hope she's going to wait around for you to sow your wild oats. Your ex respects herself- which is why she has chosen to move on. I say good for her. You're being selfish if you expect her to remain friendly with you while you head out seeking to sleep with other people. You've been open and honest with her- that's great, but now that you've done that, let her go.
brwneyedgrl3333 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 What have you done to her you ask? Read your first paragraph and think about that just a tish. You let her know that although you "love" her, you want to end your relationship with her so that you can be with other women (that is NOT love)and you WONDER WHAT on earth you did to her for her to treat you the way she is???? Let me see..........well...my guess would be that she probably (just a wild guess here) feels like you physically ripped her heart out of her chest, stomped on it and kicked it to the street. I would venture to guess that she is massively confused wondering what on earth she possibly could have done or not done to maybe contribute to you wanting someone else other then her.....among so many other thoughts I can only IMAGINE she must be painfully ruminating on. I'm sorry if you posted expecting support ...I can't give you that...maybe someone else here can be just a bit more giving in that department. ilovecake is right on the $....looks as though you made your bed here....now you have to lie in it.
skydiveaddict Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 what have i done? Plenty that's for sure
Author Yogio Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 I feel bad enough as it is that i have hurt her but i want to mend things so we can be friends. I cant see her not being in my life it would hurt to see her with someone else and i know that is selfish and wrong but that is how i feel. What can i do
MySweetie'sGone Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 I feel bad enough as it is that i have hurt her but i want to mend things so we can be friends. I cant see her not being in my life it would hurt to see her with someone else and i know that is selfish and wrong but that is how i feel. What can i do Nothin really, honestly. It sounds like you still don't want to be with her? you want to be friends (but have her not date anyone else). That's not fair to her and maybe you should let her heal. how long ago did you end things?
Author Yogio Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 the 10th of febuary she spoke to me for a little while and we talked about things and met a couple of times and every atempt i made to hug her or cuddle i was pushed away not even as far as to sit next to me. I even asked her just to see me untill she finds someone else who she thinks is better and she wont she says she wants to settle down have and have a family at some stage in her life. and not to be used by somone who has been round the block to many times that no one wants them in the end and the only reason they want to settle down by that stage is cuase they got a name for them selfs and no one decent will want them.
Ilovecake Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Dude, you were a complete self absorbed jerk. You do not get to have what you want. You made this girl suffer yet you seem to be too dense to see that you deserve twice the pain for being so blindly egotistical. You don't care a bit about this poor girl, you're still only thinking about what you want. I'm starting to think that either this thread is some kind of unfunny attempt at a joke or you're completely emotionally stunted. I don't think you will find one person here who will sympathize with you.
HeavenOrHell Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 You can't have your cake and eat it How would you have felt if she'd said she wants to go and be with other men?
HeavenOrHell Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 You can't be friends with her, I tried to be friends with my ex after he left me but it was far too painful, especially when he started fancying other women. You need to work out what your priorities are, a loving partner or having several partners. I feel bad enough as it is that i have hurt her but i want to mend things so we can be friends. I cant see her not being in my life it would hurt to see her with someone else and i know that is selfish and wrong but that is how i feel. What can i do
iheartboobs Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 (edited) As a screw-up who screwed-up badly and often, I can tell you that you, sir, are a screw-up who's screwed-up royally. You might be ****ed, dude. I'd say your best bet's to give her a week of no contact and then call and apologize (no "buts" either, you are completely at fault and have no excuse, so don't offer any). Then tell her you completely understand why she wouldn't want you back and you hope she's happy (mean it, too). Finally, tell her good-bye and hang up. If it's meant to be it'll be, if not, learn from your mistakes, hope God likes you enough to send a second good woman your way, and don't screw it up next time. It's all I can do, it's all you can do. Edited February 19, 2010 by iheartboobs
Author Yogio Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 I know i have been a compleat jerk and i feel horible because of my selfish ways and yes i do like things my way. i have pushed away the best thing in my life and hurt the best friend i ever had i feel so guilty i wish i never had hurt her. But i cant help it when i was with her i thought what it would be like with other women so i ended the relationship it would have been wrong to string her along. yet ive not had that many good relationships and im not ready to settle down even though she has never tried to tie me down and i wish i would have met her when i was more settled.
Author Yogio Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 I want to fix things i cant take her being like this she sent me this email Sent:19 February 2010 13:22:27 I do not care about what you have to say to me, every thing that has been said is now done there is no more to discuss with you. I gave you what you wanted I did not ever force you to do anything you was not at ease with I give you chance after chance to fix things against my better judgement to make you happy put my wants aside. You have not ever taken then time to even spend time with me when you did it was on your terms when you was not busy you put your work and your hobbies first, and yet I would give up my time to see you I even lied to work to spend the day with you and meet your family. What you have told me about yourself I will keep to myself as promised I doubt you love me you dont have a clue what love is if you do then you need to sit down and have a good think about what love is (love is not thinkin what it is like with other women when you are with someone). I give you love I made every effort to make you happy you had every thing your way and more and now you can't get your own way with me you do no like it this is no longer a problem of mine I can not make you feel better for what you have done. I wish you to be happy who ever you are with next and I hope they treat you with respect and not how you have treated me I want you to be happy even though you may have hurt me I will not be bitter and I will not show you any emotion. I do not wish to be your friend or keep in contact with you, you have made you mind up to trade me in for a woman you do not even know yet! or met! or even know! you need to learn a lesson because not every one is as compassionate as me and you will find out the hard way and when you need someone who really cares about you as I did they will not be there as you messed them about. Please leave me alone and let me find someone like myself and you can find someone like your self I have more important thing to be gettin on with than your sorry ass.
lost highway Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Yogio, its obvious that you will find very little consolation here, but I can offer you one thing. Your not the only one who has made this mistake. I made this mistake about 7 years ago and am still paying for it. I was with the PERFECT woman for me for 8 years from the age of 21-29. She was the whole package. Pretty, smart, nice, funny, and just downright cool to be with every day. For whatever STUPID reason, I thought to myself that "Is there someone out there even better" I had never been with another woman in my adult life and wondered if there was someone out there that even better. What a mistake I made. I broke things off and crushed this girl.. Fast forward 7 years........... Well, now I have just turned 37 and have dated a lot of girls since. None can even hold a candle next to the girl that I kicked to the curb. Needlessly... About a year after I broke things off, it hit me like a ton of bricks.. The woman who I loved and destroyed was the woman I had destroyed. I would have been happy the rest of my life with her. Maybe I had some "turning 30 crisis" going on, but wow, if I could take it back I would in a heartbeat! I wish I could erase that moment in time when I decided to end our relationship. I tried to get her back repeatedly. It didn't work. I hurt her too bad. About 3 years after our breakup she met another man. Today, she has now been happily married for three years, and I guess they are now trying to have a child. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. What a fool I was. The point is, if she EVER gives you a second chance, i hope you remember these days right now. If you have someone that truly makes you happy and content, don't throw it away, AGAIN. The feeling of intentionally throwing away your soul mate will never leave you. It haunts me every single day. The only positive thing I can say is that there are more women out there that can complete you and make you happy. They are just so hard to find. I have been hoping to find someone that would compare to the feelings I had with my "soul mate", but haven't had any luck. I've met some good women over the past seven years, but I always find myself comparing them to my ex. Heck, I've now lost hope and settling for someone who comes even close seems ok. Lots of regret. One thing I do know is that if an angel walks into my life again, I wont screw it up this time. I've learned my lesson. Hope you are learning by your mistakes as well. Good luck to you.
sunrae Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Please leave me alone and let me find someone like myself and you can find someone like your self I have more important thing to be gettin on with than your sorry ass. You broke her heart. Now the least you can do is respect her wishes and leave her alone. Sadly for you it sounds like, she looked back on the relationship and figured out she could do better.
LostInLimbo Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Dude, you were a complete self absorbed jerk. You do not get to have what you want. You made this girl suffer yet you seem to be too dense to see that you deserve twice the pain for being so blindly egotistical. You don't care a bit about this poor girl, you're still only thinking about what you want. I'm starting to think that either this thread is some kind of unfunny attempt at a joke or you're completely emotionally stunted. I don't think you will find one person here who will sympathize with you. Have to agree with ILOVECAKE, not to sound mean, and I know its hard, but you sow what you reap, I maybe bias in this, because I got treated like S**T and kicked to the curb several times by someone I loved dearly and put on a pedestal, even her kids...but I was a bigger fool, for always accepting her back, I think it takes alot of will power and heart to do what she has done... Sorry, my opinion only LiL
Author Yogio Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 I dont want a relationship with her just to be friends with me and stay over now and then like how it use to be just not a relatonship just friends still to be the same way with me thats all im lost with out her she has done so much for me she dont even know it ive faced things i thought i never could even if its just one call a week just something.
D-Lish Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 I dont want a relationship with her just to be friends with me and stay over now and then like how it use to be just not a relatonship just friends still to be the same way with me thats all im lost with out her she has done so much for me she dont even know it ive faced things i thought i never could even if its just one call a week just something. This is all about what you want- not what's best for her. She doesn't sound like the type of woman to put up with this backburner situation anyway. I don't blame her for wanting to put the relationship behind her and walk away.
D-Lish Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 I dont want a relationship with her just to be friends with me and stay over now and then like how it use to be just not a relatonship just friends still to be the same way with me thats all im lost with out her she has done so much for me she dont even know it ive faced things i thought i never could even if its just one call a week just something. This is all about what you want- not what's best for her. She doesn't sound like the type of woman to put up with this backburner situation anyway. I don't blame her for wanting to put the relationship behind her and walk away.
paleblue Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 (edited) seriously, just leave her alone. maybe next time you will recognize. i totally admire her. i wish i was as strong as her from day 1. Edited February 20, 2010 by paleblue
kimbop Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 My god. You sound exactly like my ex. He strung me along for another year and a half after the relationship ended through endless bs. I don't know if you're his age but he just turned 29. Please if you have any iota of compassion just leave her alone and let her find someone else who is worthy of her. To be her friend you should care about her enough to honor her wishes. She loved you but you didn't return her desire in the same level. I can emphatize with her. It's extremely hard to turn away from a man who says "I love you; I can't imagine my life without you; you're my best friend; I don't want you with anyone else; BUT I can't settle with you." Be her friend. Don't be so selfish. If she contacts you, ignore her. I wish my ex would do that....
Author Yogio Posted February 22, 2010 Author Posted February 22, 2010 Okay so i done a lot of thinking and she makes me happy i spoke to one of my friends who gave me no advice when i told them the whole situation untill he said do what makes you happy. and she makes me happy i have been misreble with out her in my life so i sent her a txt saying that i know i ruiend everything but can you please give me a chance to be a better person and treat you the way you should be and deserver. so far i got nothing back what can i do to get her back in my life I now see how badly i hurt her and i am stuip and a compleat jerk for letting her slip from my fingers.
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