Cedrick Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I will do my best to be fair and concise - am I being taken for a ride or am I just not self assured enough? 5 month old relationship and it has been rocky - record amount of break ups - I am constantly being accused of being jealous - yes i check out the new friends on facebook - usually single and hot - yes he lists on facebook that he is in a relationship - the photo on facebook he uses is very sexy and shows him in his underwear - i asked him to change it for something more conservative - flat out no - and told to mind my own business - it is his best photo he says - also has the same photo on messenger. I think he is on like 10 sites - has been in adult films he says. After one month we went to Cuba together - he says it was his best vacation ever - I wanted to shoot myself - he likes to drink and is very social and definitely (taurus) needs to be a star and the centre of attention - so i ended up spending my time always with other people and when i complained was told that it is vacation, supposed to have fun, and it was more fun with other people around. Fine - that is true that this can be fun and he did want drinking partners as I am on the wagon - but one of the drinking partners was totally in love with him and they would yack until 2 in the morning and one night went skinny dipping (although supposably the other guy got naked but not him). This led to a break up as I freaked. Just drunken fun per him and maybe he shouldn t have done it. But when drunk he told me i was dull and was generally a jerk. Sex is mediocre - he refuses to call it making love - and doesnt really like to kiss. It is odd - like he was abused but insists that is not the case. I am 12 years older. He says he has never been in love like he is now. We spend every evening together except for one night after a big fight when he had broken up and seeing me at a club he purposefully danced with another guy in front of me and necked with him - now he says that was the most awful thing he has ever done and feels sick about it. Why am I there - obviously he has loads of charm, very cute, and snuggles up to me mostly - and I am dead lonely. Every time I mention anything about his behavious it is a HUGE fight so I just don t talk about it - he says I need to get my jealousy under control and need to see a therapist - he also says he never looks at porn (and I don t care if he does as long as we have a normal sex life) but has pron on his computer - and i know gets tons of messages - with those sexy photos it is only normal - but he insists he really loves me and i should just be more cool. He does alot of nice things but also calls my name and asks for coffee, ice cream, whatever while on the couch. My big fear is that i have not been strong enough character wise from the beginning as I did a big goof up while drunk and yelled at him and then had to beg for him to come back to me. I feel like he is a lsot soul and as he ever so slowly opens up he is more caring but he is very critical of all i do - less so than before - must be a part of his upbringing. I guess I am looking for some guidelines to test him? He is not shy to have a good look at cute guys which bothers the hell out of me as I feel it shows a lack of commitment and is just plain tacky really.
fennel6 Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 It sounds to me as if you two just really aren't a good match for each other. He seems disrespectful of your feelings, plus it sounds to me as if he could use a bit of time "on the wagon" as well. Flaunting that pic of his on multiple sites seems like he's advertising for action- I would be bothered by that. I hope that you find somebody who is a bit more of a romantic- I don't think this guy is the one. Take care...
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