pgummins Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Hello. I'll make a long story short. I am the OM and broke things off about 3 weeks ago. The ex contacted me (shes in a relationship). Her father has days to live and I just said "I don't want any contact on any level." She apologized and went offline. If he dies Should I be there for her?
BB07 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Hello. I'll make a long story short. I am the OM and broke things off about 3 weeks ago. The ex contacted me (shes in a relationship). Her father has days to live and I just said "I don't want any contact on any level." She apologized and went offline. If he dies Should I be there for her? Not unless you want to be in the relationship again. You can feel sad for her from a distance and after all, there isn't really anything that you can do, right?
Author pgummins Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 You are right definitely. Can't help but think shes torn apart, with her dad and me not talking to her :-/
quankanne Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 she's just gonna have to learn to live without you. Unless she's single and has no moral or legal obligation to a spouse, fiancé or boyfriend, you don't need to be tangled up with this woman. it's one thing to empathize with what's going on, but another to put yourself back into the path of an on-coming train
reboot Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 If shes in a relationship, why can't he be there for her? If he can't be there for her, why is she in that relationship? And regardless of the answers, what do either of those questions have to do with you?
Author pgummins Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 If shes in a relationship, why can't he be there for her? If he can't be there for her, why is she in that relationship? And regardless of the answers, what do either of those questions have to do with you? I'll put that to her if she contacts me again. I'm actually quite annoyed I even spoke to her. NC And as for your last question, because I think we genuinely have a connection. Her problem though, I'll put on a cold face.
whichwayisup Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 No. She has her husband to be there for her. She has the support of other family and friends. DO NOT be there for her, it's wrong and inappropriate, plus your A is over, you're in NC mode with her. It was wrong of her to let you know, seeing as you don't even know the man.. You don't have to put on a cold face, if she contacts you again and you answer her, just tell her you're sorry to hear that sad news, wish her the best and leave it at. Short and to the point.
Author pgummins Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 She told me she has no one else, and I believe her. She lives with her boyfreind but they havent spoke in weeks, I know this to be true. She has no one.
whichwayisup Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 She told me she has no one else, and I believe her. She lives with her boyfreind but they havent spoke in weeks, I know this to be true. She has no one. How do you know this is true? Have you been a fly on the wall at their house 24/7? So they haven't spoken ONE word to eachother in 2 weeks? And, she has 'noone' else? No friends? No other family? No siblings? No mom? Uncles, Aunts, cousins? JUST you? Why do you believe her?
Author pgummins Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 I'm an idiot. Im talkign to her. Ill talk to her, ask some questions ive always wanted to ask and go NC again :-/
reboot Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Frankly, I can find no wrong in trying to comfort a friend. And if that's all it is, so be it. The problem here is likely to boil down to motivations. Why are you comforting her... Why is she looking to you for comfort...
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