longshot420 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 so ive been dating her for 9 months and shes the most faithful girl ive ever met but she has all guy friends and i really feel like shes cheating ive confronted her and she says shes not but i cant shake this feeling i really love her and want to get passed this i just cant
MizFit Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Trust your instincts...tell her you aren't comfortable with her having guy friends and you need her to help with boundaries etc. If she refuses you have a tough choice...stay with her and never trust her, or leave her because you can't trust her. If she loves you then your feelings will be an issue and she'll do what she can to make things so you're both happy.
crazycatlady Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I will tell you that if I were dating someone and they told me I couldn't have guy friends that our dating time would be over. I wouldn't date anyone who tried to tell me who I could or could be friends with. Thats just me, and maybe your girlfriend isnt independant as I am. Friends don't mean cheating. Are you typically the jealous type? If so the problem might be you. Or is there a reason you think she is cheating other then just having guy friends? It sounds like every relationship has involved cheating or you think it has...again this might be your and not her issue. CCL
lkjh Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I will tell you that if I were dating someone and they told me I couldn't have guy friends that our dating time would be over. I wouldn't date anyone who tried to tell me who I could or could be friends with. Thats just me, and maybe your girlfriend isnt independant as I am. Friends don't mean cheating. Are you typically the jealous type? If so the problem might be you. Or is there a reason you think she is cheating other then just having guy friends? It sounds like every relationship has involved cheating or you think it has...again this might be your and not her issue. CCL Uh oh and strong independent woman. Op, personally I can understand not wanting her to have a bunch of guy friends. People are animals even if we don't want to believe it and I am sure at least one of her friends wants her. Honestly you are not going to change her and if you have a problem with her having a lot of guy friends you should end the relationship. She is who she is, and this is something you won't be able to change
Samantha0905 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 My daughter is married and has plenty of male (and female) friends. She has kept friends since kindergarten, so I think she's a true blue friend. I don't think male friends means your gf is cheating. That being said, my daughter does not hang out with her male friends one on one -- she's with other friends also. I suppose you should be aware if there is a lot of one on one action going on with a particular friend.
Disintegration Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Having friends of the opposite gender is normal. However if she is spending some extra one on one time with a particular guy and being sneaky about it then there should be something to worry about. Trust is a major foundation in a relationship, without that you'll become insecure and paranoid, and then controlling. If she is giving you reason to doubt her then maybe you should move on. Maybe you need a little reassurance from her that she is 100% faithful to you. Does she mind if you have female friends?
Jeff1962 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 As Crazycatlady stated, the problem MIGHT be you and your self esteem and insecurities. You say that she is the most faithful girl. Then turn around and say that you think she is cheating. Which is it? HAS SHE GIVEN you a soild reason to suspect her? Too much time with one male friend in particular? If not, then look within thyself. As IJKH stated, there may be at least one friend that wants more, this is possible but you have to trust her. Now, if she has given you actual reason to feel insecure, then I'd say break up with her. If there is one particular male that his actions seem a little out of line, it is ok to voice your opinions or concerns with tact. There are so many forms of abuse and control and most people only associate abuse with physical violence or verbal abuse or neglect. You are trying to control your gf, trying to tell her what her own free will should be and this is a form of control abuse. Read up on this if you do not believe me. If you want to hang on to this gal, YOU need therapy, you may have deep seeded trust issues and you need to be open and honest with your gf. If you continue to control her, you will only succeed in driving her away. I have female friends and my wife has male friends, we do things as couples but we don't hang on eachother, there are boundries. Good luck mate.
scorpmale003 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 "shes the most faithful girl ive ever met" you think she is cheating isn't it...??? "she has all guy friends" if that is the only reason...then you are most insecure,jelous a** if not,stay low,install a Key logger on your system and flexispy-pro on her mobile....
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