Gcm Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I'm actually beginning to like this place. I don't normally talk to friends about "relationship" issues I may have as I'm not really known to be the type of person that will let little things get to him; hence the reason why I come here to voice my concerns I've been seeing this girl for 7 months now. It's very hot and cold but as of late, things have been great. We've sworn that if we are to hook up with others, we'd tell eachother as It's up to the other party to decide if they want to continue things. Anyway, she's going on a cruise for a week and I can't stop thinking about what's going to happen. She's a good girl and if she was to play hook ups, I have no reason to be mad as we're not exactly exclusive. Whilst we've told one another we can play hook ups if we want to, neither of us have which I guess is a promising sign. I'm not worried about the whole "hook up" thing. I guess I just don't want things to end with her. It would be no different if she was to walk away tomorrow for personal reasons or if she was to hook up with another guy; the outcome would be the same. We both know that we can't continue what we have if we're sleeping with other people. Once the affection is out of the equation, we end up as FB's and I know that neither of us want that. There are another 4 girls in the picture at the moment who I could sleep with if I wanted to (one being an ex girlfriend). The sad part is, I don't have eyes for anyone else and seriously could not bring myself to sleeping with someone other than her. I don't know why I have negative thoughts in my head. I'm a rather optimistic and confident person but this cruise thing is really doing my head in! We've never really had a "test" so to speak of in the last 7 months. I guess this is it. Even though I'd be somewhat hurt, I know that I could walk away from this girl and get back into the dating scene with no problems; I just don't want that right now.
counterman Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Hang on, so why are you worried about the cruise again if you're not worried about the whole hook-up thing?
Author Gcm Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 Hang on, so why are you worried about the cruise again if you're not worried about the whole hook-up thing? Sorry, I should've elaborated. It's not the hook up thing that has me worried; it's the outcome as I know that we'll no longer continue what we have. Even if we tried, it would just eventually die if either of us play hook ups. So technically, yeah, it does worry me. I guess I just don't want to lose what I have with this girl. If she decides that she needs to fool around in the 7 days she's away, then I guess her feelings aren't as strong as she says they are. Even though we're only FWB's at this stage, we both know that it's a little more than that which is why we'd both end things if another person came into the picture.
counterman Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Think is, the both of you left this open; it was agreed that you could hook up with others if you wanted to. I would say even if you haven't been hooking up with others, since the option is open to the both of you, it is quite possible that she will hook up on this trip. I guess if she does have strong feelings for you, she would feel guilty for even considering it. Then, that would mean you both would feel the same about this. So, why remain FWBs? If you do, there is always that chance that someone else comes into the picture and the relationship dynamic shifts. I think you're having more more feelings for her than that friends feeling. Are you considering making it an exclusive relationship? I mean, you can't see yourself with other girls anyway.
oneheart Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Sounds like you want exclusivity... why don't you try? Sounds like it might make your life a bit less complicated than juggling a possible 4 people!
SarahRose Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Dude you sound like a cowardly little girl. If you want her, then man up and ask her to be your girl exclusively.
emmacroft Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I Think both of you left this open. I think you're having more more feelings for her than that friends feeling.
make me believe Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 You're both trying to pretend like things are more casual than they are, and neither of you are willing to admit your true feelings. But clearly neither of you actually wants to be with anyone else, so why don't you just make things exclusive??
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