johnleo8786 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 so my girl broke it off back in january.. i was upset about it but i had to go on a trip soon anyway, a few days go by before i leave and then we talk rite before i get on the plane and leave for about a month... she didnt talk to me that whole week before and then she when we finally do talk she does not want to hang up and she says she loves me. so i come back 26 days later and she wants nothing to do with me, i respect that and dont contact her at all. then valentines hits and i get a random text message about the phone bill that we share, i dont respond then the next day i get another text this time saying " was it you?" i did not know what she was talkin about so i just ignored that text as well. so i fall asleep and to my suprise i wake up the next morning to 6 text messages from 2am to 3am. saying "i need to see you" "why are you not answering me!!" etc.. not knowin what to do at this point i just go on with my day and i dont respond. later i speak with my mom and she tells me.. "hey nathalie called askin for you".. then hours later i receive the first call.. i ignore it and she leaves a voicemail saying "please call me back" 5 mins dont even go by and she calls again. i decided to answer. she starts talkin about pretty much nothing just a lame excuse why she is calling then ends the call with sorry about the texts from last night i was a little drunk. i say "well atleast i now know why you contacted me bye" i get a text rite after we hang up.. saying "thats not what i meant".. so im curious now and i feed into her a little bit and ask some questions like what did you mean and why do u need to see me. and all of sudden she does a complete 180 and stops responding. almost as if she never even tried to get me on the phone. so the night goes on and she sends a text sayin "if i tell you something can you not blow it out of proportion" i say "what" she says "the real reason i contacted you is because i want to have sex and i dont want to sleep with some stranger".. so i say "ok im down" and she has been ignoring me since.. pretty much one word responses and no real answer like i asked her today " hey ill be in your area today.. lets meet up later" she doesnt say no or yes she just doesnt respond and when she does she says she is busy and doesnt say anything else.. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? i know she didnt just try to contact me cause she was drunk AND HORNY cause why would she call my mom the next day? I love this girl to death and want to make things rite again so bad but I have no idea where her head is at... any advice would help THANKS
jb89 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I learned this the hard way. After a breakup, she wants to see if she still has you on a string, to see if you've moved on or not. Treat the texts and calls like that as breadcrumbs. It's all meant to lure you into her, just to boost her ego. If you don't respond, she'll begin to get the hint, and she'll back off a bit usually, and start thinking to herself "Hmm, why isn't he answering?" Don't give into the texts or voicemails. Ignore them at all costs. They're bad news man.
apollo2588 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I think you need to be straight up with her... if you know she's not screwing with someone else, you should consider one final text that says, "This is how I feel... I feel strongly for you... if you want to work it out I'm willing... but you can't keep playing me around. It's all or nothing." This puts the ball in her court and makes HER decide what she wants... rather then her throwing out texts to get a reaction out of you. If she says she doesn't want to be with you, then No Contact rules apply. Distance yourself from her. period. Hope that helps, hope things turn around
Author johnleo8786 Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 Thank you for taking the time read and thanks for the advice. Oh yeah what do you think about sleeping with her again.
apollo2588 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Thank you for taking the time read and thanks for the advice. Oh yeah what do you think about sleeping with her again. Under no circumstances would that help anything... you'll only grasp more at something she doesn't want and she will again be in control. Right now, she's clearly using sex to keep your mind on her. Trust me, I know it's tempting... but doing the nasty one last time won't feel worth it once you spend the next week pining over her...
Author johnleo8786 Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 so what do you suggest to do to get her back..
apollo2588 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Give her space... show her that she cannot have a relationship purely on her terms... if she really wants you, this will be the realization she needs to come back to you. Nevertheless, always prepare yourself for the reality that she may not want to come back.
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