MinTea Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Just wondering... Where were you on the road to healing 4 months after your relationships ended? I know every circumstance is different, but I'm just curious. I don't really know how I feel anymore. I'm actually kind of surprised that it's been 4 months. After being dumped, the weeks went so slowly. At 2 months I was going crazy because I'd still have big breakdowns when I thought of my ex. Now it seems like time has flown by so quickly. Don't get me wrong, I'm not healed yet. I still cry over my ex sometimes, but my bouts of depression don't last as long as they used to and they're not as frequent. Seeing him is what can really bring on moments of weakness. I went to an orchestral concert two weeks ago. He plays with the group. It was a great concert and I'm happy that I wasn't too afraid to go, but I did feel pretty sad afterwards. I find it really annoying that I let him get in the way of my enjoyment of things. Even when meeting new people... For some reason I have this guilty feeling if I feel the SLIGHTEST attraction for someone else. I am by no means interested in dating right now, but I somehow feel that I'm discrediting my ex if I think someone is kind of cute. I know, I shouldn't feel this way because our relationship is over, but it's hard to shake this feeling. Anywho... I want to prove to myself that I am a strong woman who can do what she wants and have a good time doing it. So, I'm going to help out this orchestra for their next concert. I know, this seems like a bad idea because my ex will be there... But I also know that I really enjoyed playing with this group in the past (and my breakup had happened just before my first rehearsal with this group... I struggled, but I survived!). I feel like I haven't been able to get back much of my confidence since the breakup, and I'm hoping this will help. One of my professors really believes in my talents and has been urging me to rejoin this community/volunteer orchestra knowing that they really need the help. I am determined to let myself have fun regardless of the fact that my ex will be around. Do you guys think this sounds like a good-ish idea, or am I just talking crazy talk? Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 I'm @ 4 months now. Don't know where I am. Link to post Share on other sites
DenverBachelor Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 I'm @ 4 months now. Don't know where I am. You're in a strip club with a double Gin and Tonic in your hands and beautiful women all over you and the night is still young and you're with great friends. Tomorrow's weather is beautiful and the slopes are filled with snow and we're going snowboarding and then drinking at a nice little nick in Vail. Need you know more? Link to post Share on other sites
Brightmoon Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 3 months to the day for me. Longing for him... but my head knows the score and is pushing me forwards. My heart sends out filaments of hope to reach him...weaker and thinner filaments all the time. All in all.. tons better..So that is good. You sound like you are doing really well too MinTea. Join the Orchestra...it's a brilliant idea... ((hugs)) Link to post Share on other sites
CleverName Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Four and a half months in and I have come to the conclusion that I will live. Like the OP it is the occasions that I actually run into him that are the worst now. Where I am now is that sometimes I think that by really letting go it will completely nullify the entire 'hope he comes back' feeling. Am I holding on to my pain for that reason? Maybe I am hanging on just a bit. Just a bit though. The pain is much much less. The realization that it's over is much much more. I may be at the point that if I were to become interested in another guy it would be all the kick I need to really be done. Best to you. Link to post Share on other sites
blinded Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Coming up on 3 months soon... I think for the most part I've accepted that he isn't coming back. I do have the smallest bit of hope, but that small bit is enough to send me back to square one (crying and depressed). Luckily, it doesn't last as long and is temporary. Overall, I think I am numb to many feelings. I don't know how to feel anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 7 months on for me, only recently fully accepted the situation. The first 4 months were the worst for the rollercoaster of emotions-all horrible emotions, no nice emotions at all, no good days. I had contact with ex until 2 weeks ago which has dragged things out, although I don't regret that contact it is only now I've gone no contact the healing has really begun. Link to post Share on other sites
teanoranges Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 about 8 months post breakup, 3 months NC... I'm not sure if its the recommended 90 day period of NC or the fact that I'm coming to the 1/3 mark of how long the relationship lasted... but I'm feeling much much better. I'm understanding life goes on and trying to LIVE, but its also a part of my personality to be utterly confused about my life.. so that's a good thing. I wonder if I went NC sooner, if it would have happened sooner or if I would have had to have gotten to the 8month mark.... I think its the NC, honestly... but you never know because I'm not 100% healed... but probably as much as I'm going to be for a little while. Definitely left some scars. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 I'm @ 4 months now. Don't know where I am. 4 months also, All I know is it still hurts Link to post Share on other sites
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