sunhair Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Hiya! I'm new here! Oh where to begin I have been with my H for 5 yrs now 3yr before being married to each other and 2 yrs Married now. There have been multiple issues going on such as lack of communication, Lack of sex ,Lack of spending time together. I have forgotten what these things are literally. We used to be really happy he was very romantic,caring,out going and communicative Now there is no spark what so ever. I have tried talking to him about these problems we are having within our marriage and my worries we have not been intimate in the bedroom for almost 2 yrs now we used to have sex everyday multiple times a day. Now he won't even let me cuddle with him he moves my arm away from him at night as if he is sickened by me if I come into the bedrm he is like oh what do you want now or if I want to watch a film in my bedrm before going to bed to try to be near him. His reaction to this is oh why can't you watch your film in the living room. I was in Individual Therapy last year my therapist wanted him to start coming to the therapy sessions as I had discussed my concerns with my therapist about my marriage at first H was ok with going to the therapy sessions. But, he didn't even make it to the first session he made excuses up not to go.I feel like my marriage is over and that my efforts to salvage my marriage are now hopeless as it seems as though everything I have tried has not worked. Any advice on what I should do to save my marriage as I love my hubby dearly but, I fear he may not love me anymore.. Also he's not on any medication that would affect his libido and I haven't gained any weight or anything.
mem11363 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 if not, i think you have almost zero chance of making this work in a way that YOU are happy with Hiya! I'm new here! Oh where to begin I have been with my H for 5 yrs now 3yr before being married to each other and 2 yrs Married now. There have been multiple issues going on such as lack of communication, Lack of sex ,Lack of spending time together. I have forgotten what these things are literally. We used to be really happy he was very romantic,caring,out going and communicative Now there is no spark what so ever. I have tried talking to him about these problems we are having within our marriage and my worries we have not been intimate in the bedroom for almost 2 yrs now we used to have sex everyday multiple times a day. Now he won't even let me cuddle with him he moves my arm away from him at night as if he is sickened by me if I come into the bedrm he is like oh what do you want now or if I want to watch a film in my bedrm before going to bed to try to be near him. His reaction to this is oh why can't you watch your film in the living room. I was in Individual Therapy last year my therapist wanted him to start coming to the therapy sessions as I had discussed my concerns with my therapist about my marriage at first H was ok with going to the therapy sessions. But, he didn't even make it to the first session he made excuses up not to go.I feel like my marriage is over and that my efforts to salvage my marriage are now hopeless as it seems as though everything I have tried has not worked. Any advice on what I should do to save my marriage as I love my hubby dearly but, I fear he may not love me anymore.. Also he's not on any medication that would affect his libido and I haven't gained any weight or anything.
Author sunhair Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 We do have a small child together!
whichwayisup Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Tell him that he either goes to marriage counselling with you, to try to fix things, or he might as well move out immediately and you two can get divorced. I don't understand the rejection, not wanting to be touched by you..But I do wonder if he has someone else on the side. Either another woman, and I hate to say it, another man? Something just feels really 'off' with how you described things in your marriage, how he is with you. There's either major resentment towards you for whatever reason, or he just is passing time before he leaves. don't know, but i'm sure you do want to find out either way.. You can't live this way, especially since you love him.
tunatunatuna Posted February 28, 2010 Posted February 28, 2010 It sounds like you need to talk. That would be a good starting point. Find out what bothers him. Maybe the two of you can figure it out. It doesn't sound like either of you are happy, so something needs to be done.
Fouts Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 If he's not cheating on you, the things you mentioned can be changed.
She's_NotInLove_w/Me Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 OP, what's the latest? Obviously, there is a lot of work to be done. Is it worth it? I believe so.
spriggig Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 I suggest separate vacations--distance makes the heart grow fonder. "Now he won't even let me cuddle with him he moves my arm away from him at night as if he is sickened by me" As a natural reaction to his moving apart, you've become needy--it's a huge turn-off to him and he doesn't even know that's what is happening. The solution is for you to move apart from him to allow both of you to become re-centered. Separate vacations will be a good start.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Have you changed physically since you were together? I'm thinking one of two things is going on: you changed from the way you were when he was attracted to you, loving, etc, and he subsequently felt his emotional attachment loosen, AND/OR he is cheating on you. This is the missing piece. What exactly is the reason he has disengaged? Unless he tells you, or you find out on your own there is nothing that can be done to fix or change things.
Recommended Posts