Winky25 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I used to have alot of female friends and I thought they are all true friends. So i talk to them about my personal life and my finance strategy. One day one of my friend saids " when you kept complaining about your life and your career, it makes me feel I am not living up to your life" Another friend saids this "all you talk about is money". I have to admit I love talking about money. I love the luxury living style. I jsut want to have a easy life but don't get me wrong. I have a good career which i can totally support myself with a nice condo, vacations and nice clothing. Now these friends are out of the picture because they yelled at me and i can't get over it. I never compare myself to them but I don't know why they compare themselves to me. Even when i first meet my fiance. One of his friends said "oh she is not a good girl, she trash talk about me" funny thing i don't even know her but we have 1 or 2 mutual friends. So I felt like wow...how come girls hate me so much when I don't even know them. One of my fiance friends, she is kinda fat. So i said to her "oh you lost weight (i said it becuz i thought she did) then she goes like no i didn't. The next time i saw her which is like 4 months later i thought she lost weight "so i told her again" she goes like (Why you always said i lost weight?) Am I fat? She then gather a group of girl trash talk about one of her friends. I think it's digesting......... Is it possible to have healthy female friendship? Why do females have to say mean things to each other? Why can't we just be good friends? I miss having nice friends......Sometimes I felt like I didn't do anything wrong but people have to be mean to me!!!!!!
addymark Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Hello Winky. According to me, Relationship happens after Friendship. Then basically in a relationship you get to know that person more. Friendship is just the basic level of a relationship. Just think about it.
make me believe Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Honestly, in both of these scenarios it kind of seems like the problem is your lack of tact. When you constantly talk about money it probably comes across as bragging, which is why your friends complained. Noting that all you talk about is money is not yelling at you or talking sh*t.. The overweight girl is probably self-conscious about her weight and even though you're trying to compliment her by asking if she lost weight, she probably feels like it's the only thing you notice about her since you bring it up every time you see her. I'd quit talking about that subject completely when you see her. It's a pretty sensitive topic, and obviously making her uncomfortable. I have always had great, supportive, sweet female friends so I don't think it's fair for you to judge all women based on your experiences with a few.
Author Winky25 Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 This women who is kinda fat and felt uncomfortable that i said she lost weight. She said something mean to me too. When i was engaged with my boyfriend she found out...she said this to me on facebook..."Are you serious? OMG? I don't believe it." Then the next time i talk to her she said the same thing to me "Oh..I still can't believe you guys are engaged!" She said she needs time to digest it...I mean who saids that? I know why she kinda said this to me is b/c she and her bf were together for almost 10 years and still haven't got engaged. But come on...why can't she just say something nice. I felt like she hates me. Cuz she can't say something nice. She is my boyfriends bestfriend gf...i don't get it...I never ask her anyting about marriage or her opinion about my engagement. Honestly, in both of these scenarios it kind of seems like the problem is your lack of tact. When you constantly talk about money it probably comes across as bragging, which is why your friends complained. Noting that all you talk about is money is not yelling at you or talking sh*t.. The overweight girl is probably self-conscious about her weight and even though you're trying to compliment her by asking if she lost weight, she probably feels like it's the only thing you notice about her since you bring it up every time you see her. I'd quit talking about that subject completely when you see her. It's a pretty sensitive topic, and obviously making her uncomfortable. I have always had great, supportive, sweet female friends so I don't think it's fair for you to judge all women based on your experiences with a few.
D-Lish Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I have a really good core group of gf's I've known since highschool- we don't have those kind of issues. Women that have issues with other women are normally insecure. If it's most of your gf's that have an issue with you talking about money, chances are, you might come across as bragging. If it's bothering them all- you may want to tone down talking about it in front of them. It's obviously apparant you are sucessful if you own a condo and have nice clothes....you probably don't need to talk about it so much. My best friend is very successful, and she often brags about her money, condo, success- it did bother me when she talked so much about it after I lost my business- it was just something that made me feel worse and I felt she was being insensitive talking about it when I had just suffered such a huge loss. Now that I am back on track- it doesn't bother me as much (still a little though). When it comes to the overweight friend- if you want to compliment her, just tell her you like her outfit- tell her she looks good in something, etc. If weight is an issue for her, she's going to take any weight comment negatively.
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