nolagurl07 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 So Ive been friends with this guy for awhile when we first met we liked each other but we didnt want to just jump into a relationship because we were still trying to get to know each other. Now alot of time has gone by we are still really good friends we stay up all nite on the phone sleep next to each other have sleepovers and yes of course weve gotten to the point where weve had sex. Hes my best friend i love him. Ive expressed my feelings for him and he says he loves me too. He says he can see himself marrying me and be very happy but he says lately our kisses are not passionate. He feels really bummed about this and i think thats why we never made a full commitment to each other. I asked him why he never mentioned it before and he said he was hoping he wouldnt have to say anything that we would just work out in the long run and somehow the passion would come back. He still wants to be close because he says by me pushing him away and not seeing each other it leads us to never really know if itll work out. Hes my best friend i dont want to lose him but is there always suppossed to be that passion between two ppl how do i get it back? Some say i should go NC and let him go but we really do care about each other? Am i just waiting around for nothing?
phineas Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 My opinion, he's using you for sex. He may like you, but he's manipulating you into NOT having a relationship while he still gets sex. If you withold sex then he'll either have to commit or find someone else. But I think it would be temporary on his part.
DustySaltus Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 So Ive been friends with this guy for awhile when we first met we liked each other but we didnt want to just jump into a relationship because we were still trying to get to know each other. Now alot of time has gone by we are still really good friends we stay up all nite on the phone sleep next to each other have sleepovers and yes of course weve gotten to the point where weve had sex. Hes my best friend i love him. Ive expressed my feelings for him and he says he loves me too. He says he can see himself marrying me and be very happy but he says lately our kisses are not passionate. He feels really bummed about this and i think thats why we never made a full commitment to each other. I asked him why he never mentioned it before and he said he was hoping he wouldnt have to say anything that we would just work out in the long run and somehow the passion would come back. He still wants to be close because he says by me pushing him away and not seeing each other it leads us to never really know if itll work out. Hes my best friend i dont want to lose him but is there always suppossed to be that passion between two ppl how do i get it back? Some say i should go NC and let him go but we really do care about each other? Am i just waiting around for nothing? I wouldn't say you are waiting around for nothing. What I will say is that he feels something is obviously missing. You have two options: Go NC and let him miss you OR do something completely spontaneous to try and get the passion back in the relationship. I'm a fighter and that can be both a good and bad quality to have. We want to make things work and we try our hardest but sometimes it's to no avail. But it builds us as individuals when we try our best regardless of what the outcome is. I think going NC on him in this situation will make him miss you but I feel that down the line you'll be in the same position again. So I would do something to spice things up a little bit. You need to figure out where is head is at and ask him where he would like to see the relationship go at this point. Communication is always key. The question here is whether or not HE is willing to live up to his end of the bargain to get those feelings back.....it's a two way street.
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